Bobby Deol
“My greatest hobby is Bobby!”
“Kissss of love, kissss of love, stay away from the kissss of love...”
“Bobby”
“My hero!”
“Waellkhum to the fayemaly.”
Bobby "Skeletor" Deol is an actor par excellence, a 'Kissss of Love' activist, a Nazi stealth-bomber, a hobbit, Ozzy Osbourne lookalike, the coolest thing to happen since sheep, a roller-coaster tycoon and sheer awesomeness personified.
Early Career[edit]
A true patriot, Bobby served in the Indian colony of Little Britain as a cop in Scotland Yard, where he earned the name Bobby. It was also where he discovered the lost diamond of Kohinoor in the loft of his workplace. Thus inspiring the Martin Lawrence movie, 'Bloo Streak'. He investigated the London 7/7 bombings, which he liked to call 'Shaka-laka-Boom-Boom'. He left the force to become a sanitary pad, which he found highly rewarding and was the first and last of the action he ever got.
The Ol' Lineage[edit]
Following the Great Indian Depression (a bout of methi-paratha induced gastritis epidemic chartered by the Angrez), Dharam Paji escaped as a baby Jat from his hometown of The Ol' North (read: Punjab) after his mummyji was killed by the ruthless tomato eating landlord as was Dharam Paji Sr. While escaping from the The Ol' North he encountered various fantastic mythical beasts, the most gruelling and fascinating among them was a dog, which was an instant catalyst for Dharam Paji to utter the philosophical conundrum that still continues to baffle many a wiseman. The philosophical conundrum being, "Kutte, kameene, main tera khoon pi jaoonga" (You bastardly dog, I will drink your blood and yeah, I don't give a fuck about doggy AIDS). Some claim this habit was acquired by him during his brief affair with a certain Tom Riddle who had a very vain unicorn blood-fetish. So yeah, back to runaway Dharam Paji, he took a very bold (read: pea-brained) move to defy immigration officials by taking a boat to Elephanta Islands in Bombay where he was diagnosed of small-pox, which he acquired from the banana-chips eating monkeys. But much to his clueless dismay, he found out he had landed in the same frickin' country he ran away from! But thankfully due to general indifference that existed between Bombay and the rest of India, his entry into the port city went unnoticed. But that can also be credited to his buffed-up ugliness and lack of conduct. He adopted the last name 'Deol' to comemorate his daring escape from The Ol' North and honour his role-model, Alex DeLarge from The Clockwork Orange. Following a standstill career in the Bollywood porn industry where earned the nick-name 'Garam-Dharam' (Garam = Hot), he went on to become a ruthless crime-lord where he gathered his minions mostly disgruntled spot-boys upset at being slapped by a Bollywood phenomenon known only as Govinda or Superman as he's called in the west. After establishing his domain in 'the city that never cleans-up', he had three kids: hotheaded Sonny Deol, the greasy lottery ticket selling OhBoy Deol and the valiant and awesome Bobby Deol. All of whom, weirdly, looked like monkeys from Elephanta Island.
A Death in the Fayemaly[edit]
After the death of Dharam Paji from Doggy AIDS (surprise, surprise!) he contracted while kissing Mallika Sherawat, and Sonny's death, as he randomly charged into a goods truck, a devastated (read: devastatingly ugly) Bobby swore revenge on all truck/ screw/ auto-rickshaw drivers (who essentially formed the target audience of his movies) by growing his hair long and NOT shampooing it, like ever.
Filmography[edit]
- Legend of Chetan Bhagat ... wannabe freedom-fighter Chetan Bhagat
- Heroes ... Cheater Chettinad
- Ajn00bie, an online tale of deception, role-swapping and the gruesome origin of Kareena Kapoor's probosis monkey nose ... narrator
- Hakka-lacka-vroom-vroom ... leader of a Chinese food eating bikers who lack vocab/acting skills
- Soldier (A script set in the distant future where soldiers are bred since to become the ultimate emotionless fighting machines, co-starring Kurt Russell as Sunny Deol)
- Borsaat (The seventh sequel to Borat) ... the distinguished peace activist)
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