Uncyclopedia:VFP/Class C

Images in Class C will appear on the main page 19% of the time.

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Goatsebusters.jpg

Goatsebusters.jpg - 12.5 deleted images ( 18.5 / 6 )

There's something strange, and it don't look good. Who ya gonna call?

Image credit: RadicalX

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Armstrong moon.JPG

Armstrong moon.JPG - 11 lunar trumpet solos ( 14 / 3 )

The famous 1969 Life cover featuring The Apollo Program's culmination, the successful landing of Louis Armstrong on the Moon.

Image credit: Gerrycheevers

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Apple pie chart.jpg

Apple pie chart.jpg - 10 total votes ( 19 / 9 )

The apple pie chart: A winning presentation.

Image credit: Okochama

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And THIS is how you fuck a bear!.jpg

And THIS is how you fuck a bear!.jpg - 14 raw bears ( 14 / 0 )

This photograph, recently discovered in the Bundesarchiv, gives a rare insight into the inner workings of the Third Reich

Image credit: Concept: Zombiebaron. Image: Bizzeebeever

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America nrv2.jpg

America nrv2.jpg - 12 total votes ( 25 / 13 )

One of God's many duties involves making sure all the world's contributions are of an acceptable standard. Unfortunately this involves the tedious task of clearing out a large amount of crap every so often. Dissidents who note that this stamping and clearing arbitrarily kills millions are placed on the "naughty" list.

Image credit: Spang

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Africamapclear.PNG

Africamapclear.PNG - 14 total votes ( 24 / 10 )

Africa is widely known by those in the US to be Earth's shittiest continent. For one thing, the land is wracked with hunger, poverty, disease, and genocide. It is also filled with monkeys, like those parks where they tear your car to shreds. Not a pleasant place, all things considered. (Rwanda sucks and has a very retarded name.) Things from Africa include: zoo animals, human trials, like monkeys; lots of fruit...um... AIDS? AIDS is from there, right? And black people? Hey, is that where African Americans came from? Yeah? Well, who knew?

Image credit: Jordanus

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Matrixdickjoke.jpg

Matrixdickjoke.jpg - 14 Subliminal Messages ( 15 / 1 )

"After a while you don't even see the code any more. You just see dicks... penis... gay... euroipods..."

Image credit: Isra1337

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ColossusofBarbie.jpg

ColossusofBarbie.jpg - 14 total votes ( 21 / 7 )

One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's Valley of the Dolls. In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:

That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,

Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,

Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,

I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.

But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;

What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.

This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!

Image credit: Prettiestpretty

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Stephenmartyr.jpg

Stephenmartyr.jpg - 11 civilian casualties ( 14 / 3 )

St. Stephen the ProtoMartyr, the first adherant of the Christian faith to be martyred.

According to the New Testament Acts of the Apostles, Stephen attached sixteen sticks of dynamite to his chest, detonating them in a crowded market in Jerusalem, killing 32 Zionists and 2 Great Satans, and wounding dozens more. Stephen is venerated as a Saint by the Catholic Church, and in many countries St. Stephen's Day is a publicly recognized holiday.

St. Stephen is depicted here in a 12th century Orthodox icon. The grenade in his hand is probably anachronistic.

Image credit: Isra1337

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Driveby-giraffe.png

Driveby-giraffe.png - 12 Drive Bys ( 16 / 4 )

During the early to mid-1990s, drive-by giraffing was a major problem throughout Europe and Africa. Since then numbers have reduced, following a pact between rival gangs. However, they are on the rise in Los Angeles once again, particularly in and around the zoo, as African giraffe's attempt to reestablish dominance in their neighborhoods.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Skullthumper.jpg

Skullthumper.jpg - 10 dented skulls ( 15 / 5 )

A qualified medical practitioner demonstrates the "Skullthumping" diagnosis technique.

Image credit: RAHB

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TicklingoftheDamned2.jpg

TicklingoftheDamned2.jpg - 11.5 total votes ( 14.5 / 3 )

Thou shall not invoke the wrath of God, lest thou be condemned to an eternity of tickling!

Image credit: Claudius Prime

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Occam's Razor in Action.jpg

Occam's Razor in Action.jpg - 13 total votes ( 15 / 2 )

Norelco's flagship product, Occam's Razor, has nearly the same effect on philosophers as it does on their arguments. Unfortunately it doesn't do much about beards.

Image credit: Martinultima

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BeethovenDropsTheBass.png

BeethovenDropsTheBass.png - 11 total votes ( 13 / 2 )

DJ Beathoven was one of the early pioneers of dubstep. He is known for the unique wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub sound of his music.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

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TyrannosaurusBanks01.png

TyrannosaurusBanks01.png - 11 dinosaurs ( 11 / 0 )

Production photos from the next Jurassic Park film, starring Tyra Banks, have been released. Ebert has already given it 5 stars.

Image credit: Imrealized

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EdgarAllanPo.jpg

EdgarAllanPo.jpg - 13 dead baby suns ( 15 / 2 )

The sun is setting o'r the shore. Quoth the tubbies: "Nevermore".

Image credit: JohnnyRaven and Prettiestpretty and RabbiTechno

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Potted pot bonsai.png

Potted pot bonsai.png - 11 pots ( 11 / 0 )

Even the plants are weird in Japan. This particular pot plant features multiple smaller pot plants in carefully crafted pots created specifically for the occasion. Or in the words of the artist, "I got stoned and spent three days trimming my pot plant. Now I'm gonna smoke it."

Image credit: Lyrithya and some stoned guys

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Mexico lol.jpg

Mexico lol.jpg - 10 Pepitos relaxing on the beach ( 10 / 0 )

When relaxing on the beaches in Mexico, always remember to use protection!
(This message brought to you by the Mexico Tourism Board)

Image credit: Mattsnow, Bizzeebeever

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Boogieswithbadgers.jpg

Boogieswithbadgers.jpg - 11 total votes ( 19 / 8 )

Kevin Costner's follow up to the moderately successful Dances with Wolves was not the big hit that Hollywood Producers had been hoping for...

Image credit: Mhaille

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Monotony.png

Monotony.png - 11 measures of monotony ( 11 / 0 )

One of the last surviving scans of John Aglethorpe's infamous Ode to the Monotony of Life, a nearly year-long piece composed of alterations between A sharp and B flat tied together.

Image credit: Dr. Skullthumper

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Sickophant.png

Sickophant.png - 12 sickophants ( 12 / 0 )

A sickophant in its natural habitat.

Image credit: Lyrithya

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GvG.jpg

GvG.jpg - 12 total votes ( 23 / 11 )

Movie poster for the epic film, Grue vs. Grue.

Image credit: Sliferjam

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BiLightPoster.png

BiLightPoster.png - 13 Pale Gimps ( 20 / 7 )

An amusing satire on popular nonsense.

Image credit: MeepStarLives

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Carpet muching 1.jpg

Carpet muching 1.jpg - 13.5 carpets munched ( 17 / 3.5 )

For the lady in your life. Whether you fry it, bake it, or broil it, carpet will always be a tasty treat for young and old.

Image credit: Splaka

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Damned Germans Shot My Beer.png

Damned Germans Shot My Beer.png - 11 bloody Huns shooting a jolly Englishman's Guinness ( 15 / 4 )

Ah, a nice cold Guinness, I-- ...What the??? Damn you, you Krauts!

Image credit: Jocke Pirat

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Planet.jpg

Planet.jpg - 11.5 planets, damn it! ( 23.5 / 12 )

Pluto's revenge after being demoted. Sun and Moon were no help to Earth.

Image credit: Tedmund

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Dong covering.jpg

Dong covering.jpg - 12 Vietnamese dongs protected by contraception ( 14 / 2 )

Due to the fragile nature of the small coins, its is often necessary to cover the dong for protection.

Image credit: Sonje

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Rms.jpg

Rms.jpg - 12 total votes ( 19 / 7 )

Controversial picture: Freedom of Software or disrespect to Islam?
Possibly the world's least subtle terrorist... Shouldn't that be GNU/Islam?

Image credit: Mahroww

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Whack a mao.gif

Whack a mao.gif - 10 total votes ( 28.5 / 18.5 )

Whack-A-Mao: the national pastime of Taiwan.

Image credit: Splaka

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SwineFlu.jpg

SwineFlu.jpg - 11 total votes ( 18 / 7 )

Once the pharmaceutical companies had porked the porcine strain with mother's classic formula, the only epidemic plaguing the world was terrible, terrible puns.

Image credit: Lemsip for providing the original and me for editing as well as coral for letting me edit it.

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Ipodchristcrx.png

Ipodchristcrx.png - 13 sins died for during "You Are The Music In Me" ( 15 / 2 )

Just his luck that it got stuck on Jesus Christ Superstar that fateful afternoon...

Image credit: Prettiestpretty

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Handbox.jpg

Handbox.jpg - 12 Nicely packaged arms ( 15 / 3 )

Uncyclopedia Health Service - We couldn't save it, but I'll be damned if we couldn't package it up nicely and send it to you in a box.

Image credit: Seeker

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Moaishoot.jpg

Moaishoot.jpg - 13 statues commanded to "not move". ( 23 / 10 )

Now we know why they look so intense, all of them.

Image credit: Gneomi

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I want scientology finished.png

I want scientology finished.png - 12 total votes ( 25 / 13 )

Why wouldn't you join? Tom Cruise is a member! Don't you trust Tom?

Image credit: LinkTGF

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Porchesia-deleted.jpg

Porchesia-deleted.jpg - 12 "non-existent" countries ( 18 / 6 )

It was a sad sad day in the Mediterranean region, as thousands of Porchesians were incinerated by the Wikipedia adminatti, who deny the incident ever took place, and indeed, the existence of Porchesia.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Drunkos.jpg

Drunkos.jpg - 10 cups stacked ( 13 / 3 )

The Drunk Olympics is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in several sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. It has spawned the creation of several organized competitions, including Thunderdome and Cup Stacking.

Image credit: The Thinker

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ChronChron.jpg

ChronChron.jpg - 13.5 total votes ( 17 / 3.5 )

The creation of Uncyclopedia (or alternatively you could imagine your own funny caption here).

Image credit: Sannse

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Waterloo Baron.jpg

Waterloo Baron.jpg - 12 Red Barons who have a sense of humor ( 15 / 3 )

The Red Baron causing havoc at the Battle of Waterloo

Image credit: Under user

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Kung-pooh.jpg

Kung-pooh.jpg - 12 Ninja Bears ( 17 / 5 )

Proof that the Tao of Pooh isn't something to be overlooked...

Image credit: RadicalX

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Nothitler.jpg

Nothitler.jpg - 10.5 total votes ( 25.5 / 15 )

It'll have the kids saying, "Jawohl, mein Führer!"

Image credit: Splaka

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Milk chocolate hitler bite.jpg

Milk chocolate hitler bite.jpg - 11.5 total votes ( 20.5 / 9 )

Chocolate Hitler is "...very yummy," says four year old Katrina.

Image credit: Splaka

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Sonic101.jpg

Sonic101.jpg - 11 Shakespearian hedgehogs ( 12 / 1 )

"Alas, poor Miles! I knew him, Knuckles: a fellow of infinite tails, of most mediocre flying ability."

Image credit: Mhaille

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MetroFreud.jpg

MetroFreud.jpg - 14 total votes ( 27 / 13 )

As always, Freud has the answer.

Image credit: Spintherism

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Catcher-rye-full.jpg

Catcher-rye-full.jpg - 14 total votes ( 24 / 10 )

J.D. Salinger wrote a book about baseball or bread or something.

Image credit: RadicalX

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XXXTigerGame.jpg

XXXTigerGame.jpg - 13 club wackers ( 14 / 1 )

With Tiger Woods' newest game out, all the girls can get a look at his nice big rod.

Image credit: MeepStarLives

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Penisland.jpg

Penisland.jpg - 12 Weird-shaped land masses ( 12 / 0 )

This is just tasteless. Absolutely juvenile!

Image credit: User:Zana Dark

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ShitterParadox.png

ShitterParadox.png - 12 total votes ( 13 / 1 )

You know what they say, "You can't shit a shitter". But M.C. Escher will be damned if he didn't try!

Image credit: KneeChee27

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Poker hand.jpg

Poker hand.jpg - 14 Handy drunkards ( 14 / 0 )

Figuring he would at last turn around his luck, Wild Jim drew the fabled dead man's hand.

Image credit: Sonje

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Pity.png

Pity.png - 14 Fools ( 19 / 5 )

Mr. T offers a new day for America. A Day of Pity.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Boobies.jpg

Boobies.jpg - 13.5 magnificent boobies ( 21.5 / 8 )

Hunted almost to extinction for their magnificent plumage, the booby population has exploded thanks to careful protection by ornithologists of the final breeding pair. Two boobies, in the vernacular of birdwatching, are known as "a pair of tits".

Image credit: Modusoperandi

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Thelastbachelorparty.jpg

Thelastbachelorparty.jpg - 14 Divinely inspired Messiahs ( 16 / 2 )

"And verily because it was Christ's last bachelor party, the guys also did pay for a lap dance." Many artists have sought inspiration from Judith Priest's famous dance before the Lord as portrayed in Lewd Acts of the Apostles.

Image credit: Prettiestpretty

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Calvin atheist.JPG

Calvin atheist.JPG - 11 total votes ( 20 / 9 )

Calvin and Hobbes was a popular comic strip during the 80s and 90s which discussed various religious ideas. Though he would later become known for his theory of predestination, John Calvin, shown here, was plagued by recurring religious doubt throughout his early career.

Image credit: Squiggle

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Zombieche.png

Zombieche.png - 10 total votes ( 23 / 13 )

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

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McJeebus.jpg

McJeebus.jpg - 14 total votes ( 30 / 16 )

"And yea, God did provide Happy Meals unto them, for they were the hungry 5000. And blessed were the free toys...And on the third day the burgers and fries were reheated and served again...and he saw that it was good. [McCheese 15:24]"

Image credit: Mhaille

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Noob offensive.jpg

Noob offensive.jpg - 10 total votes ( 19 / 9 )

Chronicling every edit from every date between 20 April 2005 and 20 April 2006, the Newbie Friendly Uncyclopedia Almanack is the Uncyclopedia Noob's ultimate sourcepoint, written in such simple language that even the n00best of n00bs can comprehend such subjects as the Bermuda Triangle with ease.

Image credit: Hindleyite

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ET2-ExtremeTerrestrial.png

ET2-ExtremeTerrestrial.png - 10 tricked out flying bicycles ( 15 / 5 )

E.T., Spielberg's classic Science Fiction film, joins the ranks of movies not needing sequels to get a sequel.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Moses with Ipad.jpg

Moses with Ipad.jpg - 10 Ipads held by Moses. ( 11 / 1 )

When Moses finally reached the top of Mount Sinai he was surprised to find God had left him the holy iPad; complete with the ten commandments, the angry birds app, and all!

Image credit: Magic man and his friend.

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Hen tie.jpg

Hen tie.jpg - 10 flying hens ( 11 / 1 )

Although the practice has been popular in Japan for centuries, only recently have men in Western countries begun to wear live hens in the place of the usual cloth neck ties.

Image credit: The Hedgehog

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EvilCM.jpg

EvilCM.jpg - 14 total votes ( 24 / 10 )

Cookie Monster's last name becomes much more accurate when he is deprived of cookies...

Image credit: Count of Monkey Crisco

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Paul the Obscene.jpg

Paul the Obscene.jpg - 13 very naughty boys.

( 17 / 4 )

St Paul the Obscene exposing himself to the Sanhedrin - Verse 69, Lewd Acts of the Apostles

Image credit: Mhaille

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CornhollisSurrender.jpg

CornhollisSurrender.jpg - 10 total votes ( 12 / 2 )

General Cornwallis, after initial demands for T.P. for his bunghole, surrenders to General Washington at Yorktown. Cornwallis, however, refused to return Washington's hat, even after being called a 'fartknocker'.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Lincoln laptop.jpg

Lincoln laptop.jpg - 12 total votes ( 18 / 6 )

And so it was that Abraham Lincoln was shot, killed by an actor for sending those stupid 'Joke of the Day' E-mails to Jefferson Davis.

Image credit: Silius

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Dawkins2.jpg

Dawkins2.jpg - 10.5 Flying Spaghetti Messiahs ( 17 / 6.5 )

Richard Dawkins, leading atheist and crusader for science, begins to take his role too seriously and surprises us all with his worrying new look.

Image credit: Seeker

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Iwo jima MediumVitaOd.jpg

Iwo jima MediumVitaOd.jpg - 10 total votes ( 13 / 3 )

Oil Wells Of Our Fathers - coming soon to a theater near Texas.

Image credit: --VitalOD

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DisneyVangogh.jpg

DisneyVangogh.jpg - 11 ears ( 11 / 0 )

Not only is it a small world, it also always was a small world. Apparently.

Image credit: SimulacrumCaputosis

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Fmj.jpg

Fmj.jpg - 10 Snuffed Gooks ( 15 / 5 )

In Full Metal Jacket, a U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects jacket potatoes have on his fellow Marine recruits from peeling them in basic training to the brutal food fights in Vietnam.

Image credit: Olipro, Severian

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SkinFlute.png

SkinFlute.png - 12 things that are more than they seem ( 13 / 1 )

The Skin Flute, an instrument that many bohemians and crack-whores enjoy playing in their spare time, has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. Oftentimes, a skin flautist uses the instrument of another to play their masterpieces, for which they are either paid a substantial sum, given a follow-up performance, or neither. The practice of giving a skin flute to more than one person to play has led to the spread of many STDs - that is, skinflute transmitted diseases - and has thus also increased its cultural taboo.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

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Mimes-silent-radio.jpg

Mimes-silent-radio.jpg - 11 enthralling hours of silent radio programming ( 11 / 0 )

Mimes were a staple of radio in the 1920s.

Image credit: Rljenk

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Interstate4Signs.JPG

Interstate4Signs.JPG - 14 Horrendous Advertisements ( 16 / 2 )

Getting around the Interstate 4 has never been easier or less stressful!

Image credit: Enzo Aquarius

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Tombstone kops.jpg

Tombstone kops.jpg - 12 Flans Flung in Anger ( 16 / 4 )

The 1997 film Tombstone Kops, one of many Hollywood movies based on the historic events surrounding the now infamous Bunfight at the OK Corrall, is considered by many to be the nadir of Slapstick Movies.

Image credit: Mhaille

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Benjaminfranklinoldschool.jpg

Benjaminfranklinoldschool.jpg - 14 MCs bustin' rhymes ( 16 / 2 )

Benjamin Franklin: founding father, inventor, politician, passionate kite-flier, and self-proclaimed King of Rhyme. In short, a true Renaissance man.

Image credit: Modusoperandi

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Kafkametamorphosis.jpg

Kafkametamorphosis.jpg - 11 pointless novels ( 19 / 8 )

Franz Kafka started his career as a newspaper cartoonist, before being sued by Gary Larson in the court of his own mind.

Image credit: Modusoperandi

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Uluruconstruction1.jpg

Uluruconstruction1.jpg - 11 scaffolds ( 14 / 3 )

Each year, Uluru's paint is refreshed to prepare for the upcoming tourist season.

Image credit: Hindleyite

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Osamabingrinchen1.jpg

Osamabingrinchen1.jpg - 11 stolen presents ( 20 / 9 )

Osama bin Grinchen has declared Jihad on the holiday season and commands Islamists to ruin it for infidel children worldwide.

Image credit: Modusoperandi

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Deadfunnytomb.jpg

Deadfunnytomb.jpg - 11.5 Forgotten Sons ( 27.5 / 16 )

The Tomb of the Unknown Uncyclopedian.

Image credit: Mhaille

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Davidsketch.jpg

Davidsketch.jpg - 12 starving artists ( 16 / 4 )

It wasn't until Michelangelo's parents gave him a "Etch-A-Sculpt" that he decided to become an artist.

Image credit: Modusoperandi

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CaptObviousTitanic.jpg

CaptObviousTitanic.jpg - 12 total votes ( 26 / 14 )

Captain Obvious on the Titanic.

Image credit: PiOfFive

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Bush lepers.jpg

Bush lepers.jpg - 13 total votes ( 24 / 11 )

This picture was painted at the scene of George Bush's recent visit to Iraq. Locals rushed out to greet him, as he went about his official business: visiting the sick and needy, dispensing worldly and timeless wisdom, even finding time to heal a few lepers.

Image credit: Spang

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