Movie of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing
|Movie of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing|
“Not since Keira Knightley in a White Corset and Kate Beckinsale in a Black One has a film grabbed the attention of the viewing public like this.”
Movie of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing is one of the first examples of hardcore pornography, filmed in 1921 and released to a great deal of shock by the general public. The film was also the first ever to be publicly banned from thousands of theaters across the country, only being shown in seedy underground theaters alongside similar movies, such as Exposed Wrist Girls, Slightly Visible Cleavage Sluts, and Turtles: Murderers of the Sea.
Since the movie's producers could not find funding among any major producers, they were forced to shoot entirely on location in New York by scavenging together any funds that they could manage to find, mostly forcing their female lead to disgrace herself by flashing almost her entire leg in order to ease money out of male passerbys. Though difficult to confirm, it is noted that this may be one of the first instances of prostitution.
Like many other movies of the time, Movie of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing contained a complex plot involving philosophical views of foreign policy issues as they relate to New York's as well as analyzing gang influence on the city, though occasionally splicing it in with a few moments of hot ankle shots to make it both tantalizing and more intellectually profound.
However, critics of the film claimed that its observations were "basic" and "generally soulless," influencing the modern trend that has continued into pornography today, though setting a low original bar for plot depth and acting capability. Observing modern films reveals a much more poignant set of key philisophical discussions and expressions, or even just simple observations of everyday life. For example, when a hot single temptress manages to seduce a construction worker operating in her home, did you know that, by showing how construction workers are lazy and easily distracted, it in effect means that our rate of progress toward making the world a better place is slowing?
It doesn't actually, but wouldn't it be way more interesting if it did?
Through tremendous effort, the producers of the film managed to find an author willing to stoop to the dirty, disgusting bar that the movie had set, and he transcribed the entire movie into a novel, the naughtiest bit of which can be found below.
Chapter 7: In Which The Ankle Is Shown, And There Is Great Rejoicing
"Perhaps, Mrs. Smith, we shall retire to my abode and ingest some tea," said Harvey Finklebum as he and Mrs. Smith slowly sauntered down the warm New York streets after having a long and insightful conversation about the state of American politics as well as the various interpretations of classic literary works. "I assure you that my tea is of the absolute... highest quality, if you understand what I am saying to you."
"Surely, I would enjoy some tea," said Mrs. Smith in reply. "But I am not sure what you mean when you say it is of the highest quality. Is it some rare import, or perhaps just a special mixture rarely available to the common public?"
"Why, whatever could you mean?" asked Mrs. Smith. At the same time, her dress raised ever so slightly to reveal her ankle: a beautiful, curved ankle of the highest quality, with no sort of blemish or marking to mar its outstanding nature. To Mr. Finklebum, it seemed to shine with an incredible light; and perhaps, he thought, she had done it on purpose. Perhaps their love could truly be.
Composing himself, he continued the conversation, encouraged by the flashing of the ankle that his suggestions were not uncalled for. "We shall drink the tea, and then occupy the space around my indoor fire, digesting knowledge from my collection of rare books."
"Oh, joy!" she replied. "Lead the way."
Due to the intense amounts of filth contained in the film, reviewers struggled to make it through the entire movie: many either left before the main ankle reveal or simply observed patrons leaving the theater to make their judgements. This method caused many critics to conclude that the film must be a deeply touching one, mostly attributing this to the massive volume of tissues patrons carried out.
One brave critic managed to last through the entire movie, though was immediately hospitalized afterwards and weaned on a solid diet of puppet shows and good Christian morals to "cleanse himself," though he later concluded that it was "totally worth it" and "super hot."