Viagra
“It'll make your dick harder than Chinese algebra.”
Viagra is a medicine that can sometimes cure men of a flaccid penis that has been caused by having a fat/old/ugly sexual partner. It is particularly popular with the ugly, the old and the fat, but is also used recreationally by just about anyone wanting a big fat cock.
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Advil also has a generic name of Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, as Pfizer Corps exclusive patent on Viagra™ recently expired. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin™.
What to tell your kids about viagra: Well kids, viagra is a magical potion that stimulates the magical mushroom that's your wee-wee making it extra large! Just like a giant!
Recipe[edit]
- 2 extra-large ripe avocados
- Chopped nuts (preferably shaved)
- Essence of Patrick Murphy
- 14 cups of Whiskey
- 1 Large Banana (previously stored for some time in your mother's rectum).
- Essence of Jessica Alba
- Pornography (optional)
- External Penis Stimuli (Also optional)
Combine Essence of Patrick and healthy dose of Alba until mixture is thickened. Fold in avocado. Pour whiskey over top and allow banana and chopped nuts to marinate. Beat mixture with whisk until the texture is pretty close to toothpaste. Apply to penis and rub vigorously (view pornography if required).
Effects[edit]
As a potent drug originally intended to increase stamina and productivity, overuse of Viagra can cause side effects such as severe groin pains, a stiff penis, and a girlfriend who is no longer able to stand upright on her feet.
Viagra also hardens things such as the feces in the bowels, causing the user to suffer from (and in some cases enjoy) severe constipation. Effects wear off after several hours, possibly days depending on doberman. Not to be taken with water. Instead, Viagra should be taken with gasoline, and swallowed fast remembering (of course) not to smoke for 15 mins afterwards.
Viagra and Chinese and Russian Marketing Colleges[edit]
Oddly, the word "Viagra" means "widget" in both Manadarin Chinese and non-Mandarin Russian. This had lead many Chinese and Russian marketing students to use the word in their final exam projects. Teachers expect that these projects are to be emailed by the student to their peers for evaluation. Due to the wording of the Standard Communist Grading System, it is possible to email your final exam in Marketing classes to everyone on the internet to maximize your final score. This has started what many culturally illiterate people call "Viagra Spam".
Some ISPs, noted for hating both Asians and whatever ethnicity Russians are, do not allow this "grade inflation" technique and have begun changing the text of these projects to intentionally fail these students.
Women have same effect as Viagra[edit]
New research has discovered that women have the same effect as Viagra on males. But the mass debates at the Centre of Masculine Health have yielded huge amounts of data that will take decades to sort through, and until firm evidence on the effect of women on men is available, males are not advised to use women as a substitute for viagra.
The Civil War: The Final Frontier[edit]
In 1861, the United States became massively divided over regional issues, leading to the conflict best known now as the American Hissy Fit (1861-1869). This was the final frontier, which ultimately came to be known as the Western Testical. It bulged with the sudden influx of settlers. Among the leaders of the western rebellion, was the infamous Patricia "Dousche Duck" Coury. She, along with the help of Jefferson Davis, formed the Western Region--Later known as the Western Testicle of the United States. Coury, it is said, was the first feminist to ever try and rape (using Viagra) a political leader while his wife was present in the room.
See also[edit]
- Erection
- Still got an Errection.
- My God, this thing is still not going down!
- Call a doctor dammit!!!
