High fructose corn syrup

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Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, one of the few cereals in the American marketplace that does not contain High Fructose Corn Syrup

High fructose corn syrup is a mass-produced weight-induction drug supplied to the United States government by the Cuban government for free. Cuba and provides HFCS to Americans as part of a communist plan to get Americans to become tremendously overweight, have heart attacks, become dependent on mobility scooters and die prematurely. The Cubans keep consuming that 'healthy' cane sugar, thereby giving them more power.

High fructose corn syrup is so addictive that food companies add it to their products in order to keep consumers buying their food. Some products that frequently contain HFCS are: breakfast cereal, bread, salad dressing, mayonaise, ketchup, pasta, soft drinks, and many, many snacks.

The Source[edit]

The syrup is what gives Americans their power. It is an energy source found in all American foods; it surrounds us and penetrates our mouths, binding our hearts together.

Things HFCS is[edit]

Abundant[edit]

It is found everywhere. Don't you dare dress your salad!

Tasty[edit]

Yes, it tastes so good. Much better than the cardboard those health nuts want to feed you.

Addictive[edit]

One is never enough. Always more. More ketchup on your fries. More Oreo cookies. More store-bought lemonade.

Sneaky[edit]

It's in your cereal for breakfast. In your sandwich at lunch. Your sauce during dinner. In all your snacks. Dine out and you don't even know if you're getting it or not, it's EVERYWHERE!

Consequences of consuming HFCS[edit]

Bankruptcy[edit]

Consuming HFCS leads to running out of money. This is because the substance is addictive, and leads consumers to buy more food and spend more money. The money will end up in the hands of the communists.

Ballooning[edit]

This is what people who consume HFCS ultimately look like

Your waistline will get so large, you will not be able to fit into your favorite clothes anymore.

Dental Problems[edit]

See also Cavities, Dental crowns, Dentures, or tooth replacements. Dentists make lots of money off this stuff.

Diabetes[edit]

150% of those who consume HFCS will eventually develop diabetes.

Heart attack[edit]

A heart attack. This is the way everyone who consumes HFCS eventually dies - that is, unless you change your evil ways.