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A child being taught in the ways of the Western nunchakus.
"Reception" links here, because that is what Brits call it. Like the following one.

“I have been to hell, and it reminded me of reception.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Kindergarten comes from two German words. "Kinder" meaning brutality, and "garten" meaning military compound. Kindergarten is a halting initial attempt to introduce temperamental toddlers to German discipline.

Kindergarten originated in Europe, around the year 1760. It was originally meant to be a safe house in which parents dump their children in case of war. Because of the war, kindergartens were teeming with security to protect the wee ones inside. Soon the casualties from the war were taking its toll, and the security was removed for higher purposes. The residents of the kindergarten had to learn to defend themselves.

Eventually kindergartens became outright military camps, where children were captured and trained in techniques to deal with threats like British invasion, The French, the boogie man, dictators, governors, Alien abductions, and those goddamn Swiss five-dollar footlongs (the francs). Nowadays, it has become the proving ground that separates the nerds from the rest. Usually, if the kinderbrat shows signs of weakness, he will be picked on for the rest of his/her life. So it is imperative that children already have a strong fighting spirit before entering the gartens of kinder.

Current efforts[edit]

Several kindergarteners unsuccessfully trying to apprehend the most wanted man in the world.

After kindergarten task forces defeated the French in a surprisingly easy assault, they have redirected their forces for higher ranked targets.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has become one of the biggest threats to kindergarten. After Arnold went on a steady diet of eating children and large babies, he has become top priority. The effort still continues today.

Hope for the future[edit]

Behold, the kindergartener of the future!

Even with all the anti-kindergarten groups, there is still a shining hope for kindergarten. That is the future. Yes, with advanced training, superior intelligence, and of course anabolic steroids, kindergartens will be the top militaristic force in the near future.