The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is, like the first film, a low-budget slasher/horror film based on the events of the Skull and Bones annual picnic. However, this one had the proceeds of the first to work with, and had a kingly (compared to the first) budget of half a crown. Unlike the first film, it was made in 1975. Luckily, this one hasn't been butchered by the Americans who insist on remaking films.
Plot[edit]
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Beatrice is the Orphans' Mother, Tippi and Count Bleck were Timpani and Blumiere, respectively, the Planet of the Apes was Earth all along, "Shell City" was a gift shop, Hellboy opens the door to Hell, Prince Arthas kills his father and, in the expansion pack, merges with the Lich King, Bruce Willis is a ghost, O'Brien was an agent of the Ministry of Love, Harold and Kumar are going to Amsterdam, Homestar Runner shot Caleb Rentpayer, Ocelot works for the Patriots, Janus grows up to be Magus, Mary Magdalene, who was married to Jesus, is buried under the pyramid in the Louvre, and the holy grail is actually their descendants, Luigi's Mansion is an illusion, Lex Luthor gets stranded on a deserted island (again), Fry goes back in time and becomes his own grandfather, Milton burns down the building because his stapler was taken away and his desk was moved to the basement, Captain America bequethed his shield to Stephen Colbert, Brandy Alexander is Shannon's brother, Luke gets shot trying to escape, Ben elopes with Mrs. Robinson's daughter during her wedding, Earl fakes his death again to get out of the relationship, which backfires, and then drives her to fake her own death as revenge, Santa doesn't exist,and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
A radio DJ, Stretchmark, is being annoyed by some bunch of teens, who keep phoning her and asking her to play 'In-a-vida-da-gadda'. She calls in a 'favor', and soon, their deaths are being transmitted to radios all over Texas. Soon after this, she meets a demented Adam Sandler wanna-be, who's tracking the evil chainsaw murderer of Texas (even though nobody was actually killed and all the evidence says that he just wanted to be friends). He gets her to talk about it on the radio, prompting calls from people who want to talk to 'the loon'. As she prepares to leave for the night, she meets an eeeeeeeeeeevil hippie with a metal plate in his head, named Chop Top, brother of the hitchhiker from the first film. He offers her a cookie. When she tries to get him to leave (under the impression the cookie is drugged), Leatherface comes out of the darkness, holding a chainsaw and a tray of freshly-baked cookies. She screams, and runs. However, as she flees, she falls into a gold mine. Leatherface and Chop Top run after her, as they've just tried out a new cookie recipe, and want to have her opinion on it. They begin an exciting chase through the tunnels, of such stunning filming techniques and crafty use of rusty knives that it couldn't possibly be translated into the medium of writing. Finally, Stretchmark comes to a dead end, where she sees a corpse holding a chainsaw. Chop Top advances on her, menacingly thrusting a cookie at her. She tries to get the chainsaw from the corpse, but stops when she hears the sound of a chainsaw revving from the tunnels. The Adam Sandler wanna-be advances on Chop Top, a chainsaw in each hand. "We just wanted to be friends!" screams Chop Top, easily knocking him to the ground and choking him with the cookie. Then, the whole bloody mine collapses, putting an end to any hope of getting at the Lost Dutchman's Gold. In the final, chilling shot of the film, a hand bursts from the rubble...holding a COOKIE!
Connection to actual events[edit]
Oddly enough, this film wasn't just a funkier version of the Skull and Bones picnic. No, it incorporates many other elements, such as Clint Eastwood films, illegally used Iron Butterfly songs, and most chilling of all...The Dreaded Ale Machine in the background at one point! Ah ha ha haaaaa!
Trivia[edit]
- As with the first, all injuries in the film were real. Hence, the shot of the Lost Dutchman's Mine collapsing was the real Lost Dutchman's Mine, the Clint Eastwood guy really got choked to death with a cookie, and Chop Top's head wound was real. Also, the actor who played Leatherface was really spectacularly deformed. That's about it.
- Clint Eastwood turns in his grave each time this film is shown. The creators hooked him up to a generator beforehand, providing cheap electricity for all...FOREVER!...wait a minute CLINT EASTWOOD ISN'T DEAD!!!
- The film was originally titled The Texas Chainsaw shake and bake, but the producers felt it gave away too much of the film's plot. And why the fuck is that douche Bob Saget fucking Gay Saget.
- Chop Top got his wound in Vietnam. He slipped in a puddle there. DAMN THAT PUDDLE! DAMN THAT PUDDLE TO HELL, GODDAMN IT!!! YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!!!
- Mr. Bean was considered for the role of Leatherface.
- The film was originally called "Leatherface in Love" and "Chainsaw Huffers".
Horror films
| 28 Gays Later (2008) ♦ A Nightmare on Sesame Street (1999) ♦ Attack of the 50ft Hitler (1955) ♦ The Blair Witch Project (1999) ♦ Death Race 2000 (1975) ♦ The Evil Dead (1981) ♦ The Exorcist (1973) ♦ Final Destination (series) (2000) ♦ Gremlins (1984) ♦ Halloween (1978) ♦ Halloween II (1981) ♦ Halloween III (1982) ♦ Halloween 4 (1988) ♦ Halloween 5: The Search For More Money (1989) ♦ Halloween 6 (1995) ♦ Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998) ♦ Halloween (2007 film) ♦ Halloween II (2009 film) ♦ I Am Ledge (1982) ♦ Illegal Aliens From Outer Space! (1959) ♦ Jaws (parallel universe version) (1974) ♦ Land of the Jews (2005) ♦ The Lost Boys (1987) ♦ The Microsoft Office (2010) ♦ Never Far Away (1991) ♦ Okra: The Killer Whale! (1977) ♦ Passion of the Christ (2004) ♦ Puppet Master (series, 1989–) ♦ The Queen of the Damned (2002) ♦ Robots (2005) ♦ Se7en (c.1930) ♦ Shake, Rattle and Roll 9 (2007) ♦ Silent Hill (2006) ♦ Split (2016) ♦ The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1973) ♦ The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) ♦ Trilogy of Terror (1975) ♦ Up (2009) ♦ The Wicker Man (1973) |