Footsex
Footsex is a form of sexual expression by using your feet. Before you know it, your feet have a mind (and stench!) of their own! Your toes will crave for that sensational feeling between them, and no... that's not the lint.
How to have footsex[edit]
Wait until the victim is unprepared and ninja up behind them. When they bend over, stick your foot between their legs and then...rub your foot on their foot.
Foot rape[edit]
Footsex may be Foot Rape. This is a felony in Kansas on account of too many incest toes running about. It is the only way to have Footsex, any other is just wrong.
Protection[edit]
After Footsex became a very popular recreation in the United Kingdom, FTD's (Foot Transmitted Diseases) became a problem worse than Myspace. To solve the growing problem famous scientist Svante August Arrhenius invented the "Foot Condom" (now known as a sock). A foot condom comes in a variety of colors and styles.
Because foot condoms can break, the Egyptians invented a stronger condom. It's called a shoe, for those people who don't want to have to pay child support.
In these days of modern technology, there are even better protections against FTD's. The strongest of all, for fans of footsex who do not happen to be astronauts, is the soccer cleat.
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