Food addiction

Addicts, addicts, everywhere.

Food addiction is a dangerous affliction that affects approximately 100% of all humans alive today, and 99.9% of all people who ever lived (Abortions, Calista Flockhart, and Nicole Ritchie accounting for the other .1%). Characterized by symptoms such as hunger and stomach pains (withdrawal), food addiction is a serious condition that destroys the lives of those afflicted, leading to stress, vomiting, and annoying commercial advertisements. The majority of sufferers go so far as to get a job to support their habit.

First known case[edit]

The first known case of food addiction dates back to 140,000 BC, with the biblical tale of Adam & Eve. Not satisfied with the fruits provided to them by God in the Garden of Eden, Eve was tempted by the serpent (Satan) to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree. Bitch ate it and then gave some to Adam. As a result of their breaking God's law, Adam and Eve are expelled from the Garden of Eden, ceremonially separated from God, lose their immortality (Gen. 3.23) (the Fall of Man), and both receive a curse. Adam's curse is contained in Gen. 3.17-19: "Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the table for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field: In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread and Pringles..." (KJV).

Theories of causation[edit]

Genetics[edit]

A 40-year junkie falls off the wagon

It has been frequently noted that certain addictions "run in the family," and while researchers continue to explore the extent of genetic influence, many researchers argue that there is strong evidence that genetic predisposition is often a factor in dependency. The physical explanation may be attributed to an eaters' increased tendency to secrete insulin at the sight and smell of food, though medical evidence supporting this is controversial.

It's Yummy[edit]

Some researchers also attribute food addiction to the pleasant sensations of taste and smell that contribute to food's addictive nature.

Early influences[edit]

Studies also suggest that a child witnessing food addictive activity in their environment is 10,000²³³² more likely than children who do not witness this activity to develop food addiction later in life.

Fear of Death[edit]

Some sufferers cite a fear of death as the reason for their addiction, citing an old conspiracy theory about lack of food being tied to starvation. Those voicing this opinion make up the minority of food addicts, however.

Symptoms & Signs[edit]

An individual suffering from food addiction may demonstrate all or some of the following:

Engaging in eating activity daily (3x or more a day characterizes intense addiction)
Grazing or snacking between 'meals'
Eating alone due to shame and embarrassment
Feelings of guilt due to overeating
Preoccupation with body weight
Depression or mood swings
Have obtained employment to support habit
History of weight fluctuations (weigh much more now than when born)
Sticky or salty fingers
Withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight
History of many different unsuccessful diets

Withdrawal[edit]

Symptoms of food withdrawal can be severe. They include, but are not limited to: weight loss, intense cravings for food, uncontrollable body tremors and shaking, hallucinations, and possibly even death.

Recovery[edit]

Food addiction is treatable with counseling and therapy. Approximately 80% of sufferers who seek professional help recover completely or experience significant reduction in their symptoms. Many eating disorders are thought to be behavioral patterns stemming from emotional conflicts that need to be resolved in order for the sufferer to develop a healthy relationship with food. Like other eating disorders, food addiction is a serious problem and if left unchecked, can result in long life. However, with treatment, which should include talk therapy, medical and nutritional counseling, it can be overcome.

Famous Addicts[edit]

Keep praying for them...

Famous Recovered Addicts[edit]

Well-known celebrities who have successfully kicked the habit.