Lepracy
“LEPRACY?? You're not getting out of school that easy mister!!”
A break-off, more hardcore form of leprosy, lepracy was discovered by Ian McKellen some time in the 14th Century. It is unclear whether the he caught lepracy at this point or if his nose just looked like that.
Symptoms[edit]
Contrary to popular belief, the limbs of a typical sufferer do not fall off, they must be knocked or blown off. This is, indeed, thought to have been the main cause of death and damage to property during Hurricane Katrina. The Tropical storm was brought about by the huge influx of seagulls coming to feed on the limbs, which, in such caused winds in excess of a million miles an hour, due to the intensive flapping of the birds wings. the unlucky sufferers of Lepracy who had erections wewew ko yaat this time were severed in half by their own manhood due to the high wind speeds. Steve Irwin was called in to prevent the erections from travelling too far and creating more havoc in neighbourhood areas. he was seen by locals who described him as "wrestling with a 6ft erection, shouting 'CRIKEY ITS A WHOPPER' into the camera". this was later believed to be true and Steve has now been taken to court by the owner of the erection for molestation.
How To Contract Lepracy[edit]
Lepracy is much harder to contract than its much weaker counterpart leprosy, leprosy can be contracted by someone afflicted with said disease sneezing, coughing vomiting or kissing the afflictee. This was often used in wars, the cold war being a good example of this with the newley developed "VomBomb" in which all persons within a 20 mile radius of the bomb were instantly turned to something to the similar consistency as Heinz leek and potato soup. Lepracy on the other hand is a much more illusive disease and will only find victims who are either unable to run away from it, willing to loose valuable limbs or just plain stupid (which is why many of the BBC employees seem to have contracted the disease). As of yet the disease has not been used for chemical warfare, but research is being done into tipping bullets with the disease to tranquillise safari animals rather than the currently used anaesthetic. It causes the limbs to fall off in mid-hop and therefore renders the animal immobile.