Nietzche's moustache
Nietzsche's Moustache was the moustache that occupied the face of Friedrich Nietzsche in order to execute its plans for World Domination. Whilst on Nietzche's face, it gradually gained control of the philosopher's mind and body, eventually attempting to murder God.
Philosophical ideas[edit]
Nietzsche's moustache believed that world domination would be easier if humanity were to abandon morality, thus finding no reason to oppose being governed by facial hair. It therefore went about forcing Freddy to dismantle previously held ideas about morality and to persuade everyone that everyone only does anything because they want power, thus making the moustache's actions more excusable.
The moustache also attempted to discredit all former philosophy that might be an obstacle to world domination. Through Nietzsche, it set about saying that philosophers were all only trying to justify things that they already believed (in the case of Plato/Socrates it was probably right).
Both these attempts failed because no-one took Friedrich seriously because no-one ever pays any attention to a German with a moustache advocating a fucked up view of ethics.
Attempted murder of God[edit]
In 1882, Nietzsche's Moustache was ready for the climax of its scheme. It would kill God. It believed that God was a major obstacle to taking over the world, and that by killing him, its job would be much easier. With plans in place, Nietzsche departed for heaven. Upon arrival, he went directly to God, pulled out a gun and shot him. It soon turned out, however that God was immortal, something that Nietzsche really should have thought of. He fled, and returned to Earth. However, his moustache did not want people, as well as its fellow moustaches, to think that it had failed, and felt that if people thought God had been killed, then they would be more likely to obey it instead. Therefore, in a book about gay science, Nietzsche wrote 'God is Dead'. This failed to have the desired effect, because no-one actually read the book. Nietzsche then finally managed to overcome the power of his moustache and shaved, ensuring the world would, in future, be safe from psycho facial hair.
See also[edit]
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