Talk:God

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Nietzsche didn't say God is dead[edit]

He wrote a story with a character who said "God is dead." It is a very different thing. It went something like this: The madman was running around shouting "I am looking for God! I am looking for God!" Then some people who didn't believe in God laughed at him and said, "Where is your God? Is he hiding? Did he wander away, like a child?" And the madman said, "I'll tell you where God has gone. God is dead. We have killed him, you and I..." Then he gives a huge speech I don't remember. Then he goes to a bunch of churches and says, "What are these but tombs and sepulchres for God?" Anyway, I didn't do it justice, go look it up on Google...

Yeah, we know, but none of the quotes are really serious. Humour website an' all, you know? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:30, 23 May 2012

God did die[edit]

Well, keeping in mind the fact that millions of people died in World War 1, this would have not happened if god existed, would it? It must mean that god was the first casualty of World War 1. Therefore Nietzsche's "Gott ist tot" does not seem a metaphor anymore, does it? I think we should include this in the article.

You're cute. Go back to the American Atheists forums where you belong. This is an article that is supposed to be funny and about god/God/gods. Your butthurt beliefs don't belong on Uncyclopedia. --71.231.195.155 02:01, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

God is Dead[edit]

God invented the internet at the young age of 3656725 proving that he is a genus. 40858 years later he again proved his talent by making the bigggest source of free porn for horny old men and nerds that can not get a root. At the age of 8352985 he thought that he would play a prank on the human race, resulting in everybody dying horrifically in a massive flood that covered the whole earth. The "Bible" will tell you that a few people survived because they built an "arc" (also know as a huge ass fucking boat) but scientist and satanists will prove this wrong because, the bible is full of shit, and god told this man named "Bible" to write that so he could feel better about himself. With the every living thing on earth dead (except for a couple of lesbian seagulls, God decided to make more humans to "rule" the earth. About 1000 years later God got bored, so he decided to play another prank on the egyptians. First he turned the only water supply that the egyptians had into blood, second he sent hundreds of evil frog assassins to piss them off, third he sent lice to make peoples scalps itchy (which later he corrected by inventing head and shoulders), fourth fifth sixth and seventh he sent flies, disease, boild and hail, eighth he sent locusts to eat shit, ninth he sent darkness (which i wouldve taken advantage of by simply making it a constant non stop night party) and last he killed the first born sun of every egyptian family......... And you thought satan (his gay retarded step sister) was evil. In a formal speech he said, "sorry for any inconveniance i have caused but i had 1 too many tequilas last night" He set out to prove how good and not evil he was, so he decided to help the german race get out of the trouble that they were in so he sent his mum Adolf Hitler (also known as Gaydolf Shitler) to help them. BBBBBBBIIIIIGGGGG mistake. He shat all over the walls.

God died in 1992 from HIV at the age of 64029278472947893827498 years and three days. The new ruler of the universe, Jesus, was said "finally I can rule the world bwahahahahahahahaaaa", in his own words.

Attending his funeral were Satan, every man in heaven, Gabriel, God's father The Holy Ghost, and someone he once walked into in Canada called John. Curiously his sun, Jesus, did not attend the funeral.

i still cant figure out why ppl are just so rude did you ever consider that god needed a break considering he resurected the hole human race 100+ times becouse some shit head wanted power while he was away seeing family!!! since you like to talk so much shit shit head lets see you build concor and rebuild a infinite amont of times and see if you get the same resultes oww we will be talking cont on that. rocorion owww the rock is silentLOL

God is a pedophile[edit]

Apparently he only creates babies, and I heard that a lot of children have been 'touched' by him.

Birth[edit]

According to my sources god was born in 1982 to a Mongolian lesbian couple. It is still unsure who fathered god.

Legal Trouble[edit]

God ran into legal trouble in 1962 with the IRS. the IRS claimed that they had only recieved taxes from The Father, but they had failed to recieve any taxes from either The Son or The Holy Ghost, and they were demanding the taxes to bne paid in full as well as threatening to deny tax refunds to God. However this was settled by The Pope in 1965 with the Vatican II who clarified that god was one being with three parts, or aspects. this confused much of the general public, as well as many catholic believers. But hey! it's the freakin' pope! are you going to argue with HIM!?!??!

Quotes[edit]

“In Soviet Russia, God prays to YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal

“Thou Shalt Not Watch Leekspin!”
~ Anon

Whats up with the qoutes up top?--Wit (tawk) 18:45, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

and this has nothing 2 do with god—The preceding unsigned comment was added by 203.144.17.210 (talk • contribs)

This is funny. Enough said.

Major Cleaning[edit]

I just completed a major cleaning of this article, and deleted half of it. If you edit it, do so with a great deal of thought and care, or I will ban you. No more god damned lists of "god loves" and "god hates". That sort of crap is supid and unfunny. If you can't add some useful content, be content with just reading and laughing. Now, that doesn't mean you can't edit, but if it takes less than 30 seconds to think up, it's probably going to get you banned. Please check out HTBFANJS befor you edit. TY. HAND. Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 19:45, 11 Nov 2005 (UTC)

I just did ANOTHER major cleanup too. --Chronarion 20:21, 27 Dec 2005 (UTC)

...and yet the crap keeps coming. Currently there's a template that puts God's address in the Netherlands. I took it out, but an angry Netherlandian put it back. It's dangerous to mess with the Dutch, what with the poppies and the wood shoes and all. Modusoperandi 17:39, 7 April 2006 (UTC)

This article is crap as it ahs obvioulsy been worked over by pokemon anima loving asins. It shoould be bulldozzed. -Mike 01/25/09

Suggestions[edit]

I really think there should be a section on the disasters God inflicts on the world, such as giving us homosexuals AIDS and destroying the hedonists in Indonesia with a Tsunami --Alcarcalimo 04:33, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

This is the fuzzy bunny God page. Try The_funny_version_of_the_God_article, it's full of shit like that. Modusoperandi 04:57, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

Babel:1337/G0d

Unknown:The Holy Spirit(The Pidgeon)

      The Father(Dady)

How about this for an introductory line.

Musician, infamous lover, world table tennis champion and reluctant creator of the universe.

(Playing down Gods role as creator).

God has been the subject of many religious philosophies and petty squabbles since his creation.

(Playing down the severity of conflict and indicating God was not necessarily the first being).

We could extend this last idea to about how God was created as a scape-goat for the mistakes of someone else i.e the American government or whatever.

Perhaps a mention of how God isn't particularly interested in wars fought in his name might also be funny.

e.g. both sides of the conflict felt they wear fighting on behalf of God, he was however unavailable for comment.

If this is good I can write some more stuff, if not please write back to me dispite the greater liklihood that you will just blatantly ignore me.

Would a Russian Reversal quote that says " In Soviet Russia, God prays to YOU!! be funny? Nah, I didn't think so either.

True dat. While RR's are easy to make up, good ones are rare. Also good ones are rare because they're easy to make up...and Narsil don't forget to sign your edits with ~~~ so that we know who's talking.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:30, 26 August 2006 (UTC)

How about adding a link to The Official God FAQ ?

--PAR1138 16:18, 5 June 2007 (UTC)

In the Pokémon bar at the bottom of all pokémon pages, Arceus links here. Maybe a sprite picture of Arceus? Thunda 10:53, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

re: The Holy Spirit:

When The Holy Spirit was born in thirtysomething A.D., he was known as The Holy Ghost. Unfortunately, this name caused him to be often confused with Casper the Friendly Ghost. And much like Casper, despite his kind disposition, people were scared of The Holy Ghost by the name alone. So in 1960something A.D., he appeared before the First Circuit Court of God to have his name legally changed to The Holy Spirit. Of the 3 components of God, The Holy Spirit is the one you don't want to fuck with, as even saying something bad about him sends you on a one-way unforgivable ticket to H-E-double-hockey-sticks. How such a harsh punishment is warranted is unknown, but may stem from The Holy Spirit's petty jealousy over always being listed last whenever God and Jesus are mentioned. People try to convince The Holy Spirit that being listed last actually makes him the most important, but he won't listen.

"For crying out loud, right there in the Sign of the Cross, they say 'In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit'! Even Ringo would be mentioned before George on occasion, you know? Jesus Christ!...no, no! Go back to your woodwork, J-man!" - The Holy Spirit, still bitter after nearly two millenniums. -75.174.133.233 06:31, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

Bill Gates (The really really real God)[edit]

I'm planning on Changing this article to Bill Gates (The really really real God). Does anyone mind or will anyone help me.

This is God. If you think Gates is a god your godometer must have its batteries in backwards. How about you put that filth on its own page (there's plenty of room on this interweb for Bill to have his own god page, if you're so inclined). Better yet, instead of Mister Bill how about Sid Meier? Modusoperandi 16:33, 30 April 2006 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is a satire. What better to call Billy a god.

Then call Billy a god on a Bill page. Overwriting a good page to make a potentially good page is dumb. Leaving a good page as it is and making a new potentially good page is smart. Plus people seem to have an attachment to their god, even those pesky atheists. The same can't be said for Bill (except for the many folks who wrote the friggin massive Bill Gates page).

Again, there's plenty of room on this interweb for Bill to have his own god page, if you're so inclined.

...and don't forget to sign your name at the end of your post with 4 tildes (the wiggle key) Modusoperandi 20:58, 2 May 2006 (UTC)

If all else fails, just continue making articles as normal, but every time you reference God, redirect it to Bill Gates or a similar authority figure.

...What? --Kalir, Savant of Utter Foolishness! (yell at me) 21:10, 2 May 2006 (UTC)

Is it okay if I start a new page called The really really real God etc. And what are tildes (I'm new to Uncyclopedia)

tildes are shift and the key to the left of 1, they look like a zed on its side. It's okay to start any page you want; just make sure to go to Help:Contents first as those pages should help you get started. I found the best way to learn formatting was to go to a pretty page and see how they did it. Modusoperandi 06:01, 4 May 2006 (UTC)

Vandalism on another wiki[edit]

The contents of this page were pasted onto my church wiki under "God". The username of the responsible party has recieved an infinate block on the site to prevent future attacks and all their contributions were deleted.

I am not here to complain about Uncyclopedians writing whatever they want to write. I have no problem with that. But wiki vandalism (outside of Uncyclopedia anyway) is just like breaking a window. Don't vandalize other wikis.

“When I was a boy we lived respected our elders' wikis. Kids these days...sheesh!”
~ My father on interweb

Sorry, man. There are asses everywhere. To some people the internet is like one giant prank phone call. Modusoperandi 17:15, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Yes, but that's the definition of stupidity.

Sorry, I misspoke. I should have said that there are stupid asses everywhere (like teamkillers on multiplayer FPS's, racist trolls in MMORPGs, and vandalizers of that which is wiki). But not all of us are stupid asses, luckily. Some of us are just stupid. Anonymity breeds dumbassedness. Take shaudenfreud in the fact that he's probably being depants'd and stuffed into his locker as we speak. Modusoperandi 20:03, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

here is a good wiki about god --146.244.137.147 00:32, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

Um, ok. I haven't seen the church wiki that was vandalized, but I'm pretty sure, as he's complaining about a moron from here overwriting his church wiki (or would that be "His" church wiki) with stuff from here, that church wikis don't use stuff like that. Frankly I'm still getting over the shock of finding out that churches have wikis (WWJP?, What Would Jesus Post?). Modusoperandi 05:33, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

Categories to add to God[edit]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Category:Things_that_make_Baby_Jesus_cry

Interwiki[edit]

Interwikis to add:

i knew god, he was really cool untill he smited me, the bastard.

          -Alf

It is yet Unknown if God truly scientifically exists or not.[edit]

It is possible that God exists, it also possible that other God's exist. I would highly suggest taking out the word "fictional" in this article, since no one has any proof, other than us, and the world around us. We have yet to see the face of God, if He is real.

I have, and he looks exactly like my old Art teacher from school. -- Hindleyite 19:16, 16 October 2006 (UTC)

It is also possible that Harry Potter et al exist but they are still fictional characters. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 20:56, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

This article is not about the real God, but a fictional character based on what people think God is really like. I am one of the few people who know the real God, and he gets a laugh out of people creating fictional characters based on him. Good thing God has an infinite sense of humor, or we'd all be in Hell right now. A lot of bad things that happened was not God's doing, he just left his computer on and his pet cat Fluffy walked over the keyboard and caused disasters and diseases and all kinds of nasty stuff via random keystrokes. If you own a cat, you'll understand as it walks over your computer hitting random keys on the keyboards. You ought to see what my cats search for in Google when they type in stuff like "eeertrythgrkjgkjgkjgjgj" :) --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:27, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

...[edit]

You people have no respect for religions. Keep religion out of this... thing. Make jokes about all stuff except about stuff that people actually care about and pray to. --198.54.202.226 18:03, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

Hi, welcome to Uncyclopedia. Here, we have no sacred cows. To you it's a sacred and holy thing, above both criticism and parody, to us it's funny (and may or may not be a sacred and holy thing).

If God made the universe six thousand years ago with Man and animals pretty much as they are now, then He too made humour at the same time. What? You don't take that 6,000 year old Earth thing literally? Then don't take this page literally. Who knows, you might learn to laugh.

If not, look around, perhaps you'll find something you like.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:58, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

I worship the scripts in this article and pray to it seven times a day, if you remove it it would offend my belief system 80.42.77.238 16:46, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

Hey don't worry guys. I'm a strong believer in Christianity and am not offended one bit by this. It's humor rite? Laugh it up people, sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves haha!

Yea its all good. Uncyclopedias hilarious and Im Christian too. Its hardly offensive and besides everybody gets insulted.--24.98.152.78 21:54, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

new quote[edit]

Maybe a new quote on the God article

"Goddamnit!" God on it.—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Bananatea (talk • contribs)

This is a wiki. If you think that you can make a page better, go ahead. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:05, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

How about this as a new quote on the God article

"There are only two kinds of people on Earth, those who like me, and those who can go to Hell."

God on Earthlings.

—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Laser (talk • contribs)

But the God page is locked to editing so this great quote can't be put on.—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Laser (talk • contribs)

Not bad. The page is locked because (if you check the history) monkeys keep on flinging poop at it.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:07, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

"Okay I'm back what did I mi..."

God

or "Your Friends Are Laughing Behind Your Back. Kill Them."

God speaking to Chuck Norris

or "Sorry for the inconvenience"

or "You know, I used to be Islamic.., but dude.. I spent all day reading my mail, and that prick.. what's his name, Bruce, thought :he had it hard.. What would ~~Jesus~~ you have done in that situation?"

or "I'm Here, You're Queer, go to hell!"

or "If I made you jerks lookin' like me, why're you so ugly?"

or "You're mother. Was just hit by a train."

or "I've just assigned 13 new publishers of my new book. It's called, HowTo: Make your own damn life."

lol these are just getting worse and worse.. sorry :) --DerangedDingo

Alternate version[edit]

"There is an alternate version of this article at G-d." No there isn't. Where did that come from? If somebody's going to create it, create it first. --Imp88 02:35, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Actually, at the time it was added, it was existent, but it was huffed rather soon after, and it just hasn't been removed here yet. I suppose, if you're not going to rectify that, I will :-). --scaley1234 13:53, 10 February 2007 (UTC).

life[edit]

just out of interest; if we are all gods childeren, whats so damn special about jebus...sorry typo;Jesus.

The beard.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:08, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

Ya see its quite simple, none of us are God's children! Not even Jesus! Merely a messenger... Wait did I say merely? HAHAHA! Being the Anointed One Christ, The Messiah and so on thats a lot better than like 100% - about 5 of humanity!! Jesus. Invincible amongst humans.

Nietzsche[edit]

is written really Nietzsche, you homos! 217.230.147.11 15:50, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

Who gives a shit, faggot!! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 82.43.52.52 (talk • contribs)

You sir, are an ingrate. /me shows 82.43.52.52 the door. Good day, sir! --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:21, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

arabic link[edit]

We , in Arabic section created an article about God and it needs inter-links, this is funny a protected article about god , any way our link is [1] please hook us up on a hot triple date with the english article of God Classic 971 00:38, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

Redirect not really funny?[edit]

The redirect from the 'I can't beleive it's nonexistant' (of the I can't beleive it's not group) leads here.

I find this somewhat predictible, and not really funny enough to compensate... There must be something more interesting? Heck, a straight link to a 'things that don't exist' list would be better (Is there already one I wonder)... Or so I think.

No, it's seem that list doesn't exist... I'd make it now, but 3:14 am != good time to make a joke.

76.179.150.59 07:12, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

I fuck God[edit]

And that is what I did last night. I do it often. God is a Lesbian, does the fact that I fuck her make me one too? I think it does. I fuck God, God is a Lesbian, therefore I am a Lesbian.

K THNX BYE.

Mediation[edit]

Alright, before I get in an edit war with Reginmund, I'd like to put this forward for the community to decide. Reginmund wants the wikilink to the Bible article found in the first paragraph to read The Holy Bi[b]le. She or he intends it as an "allusion to the Bible being bile". I think know one will get the joke. I know I first saw it as an error of some kind. Even if it is understood for what it is, I don't think it really belongs in this article. It's rather random, and, being that this article is about God and not the bible, it really doesn't belong here—perhaps on the Bible page, but not here. The links here show this minor editing kerfluffle in its entirety: [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]. So, my fellows. Exert the powers of outside influence! --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 07:23, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

I think anyone that has ever read a quote will get the joke. When quotes have text that may not be understandable outside of their context, brackets are usually added to reference what is unknown. (e.g. He [Oscar Wilde] founded Uncyclopedia). Reginmund 05:15, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Yes, but brackets for a single letter? In case that anyone who didn't know that bile means bible? --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 08:19, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Yes, in fact sometimes quotes are missing a single letter and brackets need to be added in to reference them. Reginmund 23:18, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

The joke in question is not a quotation. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 23:47, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Well, you asked my opinion, RA, so here it is: It's too subtle. Most people won't make the jump from bi[b]le to bile to the bible is bile. Even if it was more obvious, somehow, it still doesn't strike me as being that funny. There are a lot of jokes that satirize religion more aptly out there, and I think the page'll be ok without this one. Of course, this is just my own, clearly misguided opinion, as I was raised *shudder...so cold in here...* Catholic. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:09, Jan 3

I think most people will. It's obvious that the "b" metaphorically does not belong there and that does give credence to what the "Bible" is. Reginmund 19:52, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Serbian[edit]

Please add [[sr:Бог]], looks like Serbs also have thoughts on God... or whatever. --VranjeSurviver 19:34, 30 January 2008 (UTC) chicken

Woops[edit]

There should be a "Eric Clapton"-reference in here somewhere. I mean come on! --Helt 17:22, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

And you know you want to include Nelson Mandela. Go on. I know it'd make his day.

"perhaps you were looking for..."[edit]

Could be funnier. Something like "Perhaps you were looking for "fairy tale creatures"" or something?

offended[edit]

I don't care if this is a humor wiki, this is too sacred to be messed with. Make jokes about anything else, but not religion. This is not, was not, nor ever will be funny, and furthermore whoever made this and contributed to this should be much more respectful of other people. 71.229.201.18 18:24, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

By being offended by this page, you offend me, as these are my full religious beliefs. Please be so kind to gtfo this discussion page before I declare jihad on you and your cousins! Powerchicken 19:09, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

In case the point hasn't been understood, this is not a humour wiki - it is a parody wiki. In that regard anything that is a sacred cow is not just able to be written about in a derisive tone, it is asked to be written about in a derisive tone. But at the same time this is not about offending people, but making them look at themselves and their own beliefs and questioning. If you are offended by this it does not mean that we haven't done the right thing - quite the contrary. It means that what we have said has struck a nerve with you and made you look at yourself and your beliefs in a new light. If you go through that and your faith in God is intact, then be grateful that you have had the opportunity to test yourself. If you go through that and your faith in God is shaken, then be grateful that you have been given an opportunity to look at the world through new eyes. Calling something sacred is often just putting on rose coloured glasses and refusing to acknowledge the truth. The only barrier that there should be to free speech is to stop the spread of hate speech. And if you think that we have not been respectful, then ask yourself why we haven't made God out to be a giant Santa Claus figure who sodomises children. Our aim is to question, amuse, and make people think. This article does exactly that. However many practising "Christians" also celebrate the death of pro-abortionists, people with "different" lifestyle choices, people of other creeds, and people with different coloured skin, and they do so from the pulpit - maybe the church should learn to be more respectful. Pup

I know what the anon user said is about an earlier version. But I and others worked on the new version of this article and really we made it so that we felt people who believed and didn't believe would laugh. And really its not about any religion it lists lots of religions! Its a takeoff like MAD magazine or the Onion. So dont take it seriously! :)

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:00, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Two fixes?[edit]

1. The parenthetical comment near the top of this article:

  (born Barney H. Godstien')

...would be funnier if it were spelled correctly: Godstein

2. A callout near the top says:

  For the religious among us who choose to believe lies think they have an article about God.

That doesn't quite make sense. Incomplete edit, maybe? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Ander (talk • contribs)

Some guy Ander added the above I'm replacing it as I had to undo a bad edit he made at the same time (check his talk page). SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:25 20 July 2008

Russian Reversal[edit]

In Soviet Russia, God prays to YOU!!!

God Is An Alien[edit]

Something that many christian have figured out yet is that god is an alien who says that aliens do not exsist. alien by definition means not of this earth. god is not of this earth there for god is alien therefore god says he does not exsist. so therefore he is a wanker.....or an emo

Filmography[edit]

Not mentioned in the main article is that after God acquired his Screen Actors Guild (SAG), card he made uncredited appearences as the 'omnipotant being' in many motion Pictures, most noticably in all the Monty Python movies. This is why God is sometimes arguably referred to as the "seventh python". After a dispute over this constant typecasting, God retired from acting and all subsequent 'Godlike' roles were graciously undertaken by Morgan Freeman.

Although God never appeared in a porn film, he is mentioned about fifty times in every one. More than any other actor.

i am god[edit]

yes thats right, i am god...... im only here so i can ask for your phone numbers and adresses......send them to sexy_god@heaven.hell

Jesus also made appearance in Family Guy.[edit]

Hey... just wanted to say that Jesus also made a cameo appearance on Family Guy as the guy who works in the record store where Peter goes and buys a copy of Surfin' Bird which incidentally he previously possessed but was later destroyed by Stewie and Brian due to the constant playback of the aformentioned song in the Griffin house which caused pain and irreversible damage to the Griffin Family.

And that's relevant how? Firstly; you're talking about Jesus and second; Family Guy is vastly inferior to everything on this site. In short nobody cares. SK Sir Orian57Talk

RotM 23:37 12 November 2008

god I left my wallet in ur moms bedroom[edit]

hey god, can you go to ur moms bedroom real quick. I left my wallet on her table. Also I forgot to pay her so could you just take out a five pound note and return my wallet please. Address is: 666 hells drive, Hell, HE77 213374U

God to face US Court on Child-Support Charges[edit]

Barney H. Godstien has today been charged with over 10 billion counts of failure to pay child support. According to the indictment, Goldstien, or God as he is known by many, claims to be the father of “all humanity” but has refused to pay a cent in child support since his first two children, Mr Adam C. Dedpeeple and Ms Eve J. Walker, were born. The indictment covers the period from the beginning of time, some 20000 years ago, to January 31st, 2008.

If convicted, God faces a maximum penalty of 2 years in US federal prison and a fine of up to $250,000 on each count, as well as mandatory restitution of the unpaid child support. Prosecutors say that it is the worst case of child-support evasion ever brought before the courts.

The indictment is just another nail in the coffin for the former Manhattan underworld figure as he is already being pursued for other offences including incitement of racial violence.

It’s not however the first time God has been ordered to face court. In 2001, God was sued for causing damage to the property of Mr Steve Myers, a Scottish-Australian Fisherman. Mr Myers argued that it was Gods lightning bolt that caused the damage to his boat and was seeking damages in excess of $100 000 Australian Dollars. God failed to appear before the court and chose instead to be represented by the Pope and the local Bishop. The outcome of the is not know as both parties chose to settle privately and out-of-court.

Kezz--210.1.221.121 18:18, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

God Is Stupid[edit]

That's all. Goo Levey!! --Xxxriversofpainxxx 20:54, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

YOU SHOULDN'T BE TAKING THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN, YOU KNOW!!!

Imperial Colonization Project[edit]

This article was the victim--I mean lucky recipient--of an Imperial Colonization Project. If you still have doubts, oh ye of little faith, please compare [9]. Thank you to all those who worked on improving it. Everyone else should remember to put an appropriate donation in the collection plate at your local Temple of the Imperium. Or you may send your money directly to us at Imperial Colonization, P. O. Box 0005, Imperial Palace, Imperia. Thank you, and may God bless you for your donation. (All others are in big trouble). Miley Spears, Imperial Colonization Initiate and God's Official Fundraiser 15:13, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

welcome to another thrilling episode of imperial colonization! this week/fortnight/month's project is God. please throw some ideas around below, and be sure to read the article as it stands and sift around through it shistory, as this is another old feature that needs a good rewrite. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:11, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

ideas[edit]

Hey, I might put this in the right place now[edit]

But I am one of you... bwahahahaha... Why don't we just revert to The featured version? Haha - IC complete, next! Pup t 00:50, 23/07/2009

That was the featured version? Miley Spears 02:28, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

God: Sports Fan.[edit]

3rd person encyclopedic tone portrays God as an ominpotent, reckless fool who only cares about sports, then gets drunk on ambrosia while watching games and causes miracles/hurricanes/other shit to happen. Capitalize on the ridiculousness of sports players thinking God for their good plays/wins by purporting that it's true.

For pre-sports history, we could make up shit. Like Dinosaur Tennis, but more clever. Put money on the triceratops during a grand slam match of dinosaur tennis, but satan bet more on the stegosaurus. The triceratops lost and God dropped a meteor in his drunken stupor. Something like that, but better. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 07:58, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Okay, feeding off of the back of this (which I like incidentally) is my scratchy recollection of the book of Job. It is reportedly the first vook of the Bible to be written, and it revolves around God, Satan and God's servant Job.

Long story short Satan says something to the effect of "I've been looking at the Earth and the people on there are all evil."

God say "Have you checked out Job. Man that guy is so righteous he makes me look like a bastard."

Satan says "Well of course he is. You've given him a good business, a lovely wife with a decent rack, a couple of sons, good friends. What has he got to be shitty about."

God says "All righty then. I'll give you permission to take away everything that he has, and then we'll see what happens."

It's not a huge stretch to say that the next thing that Satan says is "Well, do you wanna make it interesting then?"

Going on to the story of Bedazzled, God and Satan are still having a long-standing bet to see if Satan can get x amount of souls (I'd have to watch the movie again to check how many), so the idea of God being a betting man has enough meat on it to float.

What I'd like to do though is take this to the most ridiculous level. I'd like to change it to a first person perspective, and start it off with:

“

Hi, I'm God, and I'm a compulsive Gambler.

”

And then something about this being his first meeting of Gambler's Anonymous (which is a real twelve step group.) Bringing that into the mix brings in the twelve steppers, and the twelve steps all relate back to God as we understand him, which we could have him getting shitty about the lack of respect in a Rodney Dangerfield-esque manner, and finish off with:

“

Me, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the holy wrath to destroy all those who piss me off

”

Or some other suitably witty ending. Probably better than that one as it's just the "top of head" stuff. Pup t 08:57, 23/07/2009

One other thing just srung to mind...

“Quantum mechanics is certainly imposing. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. The theory says a lot, but does not really bring us any closer to the secret of the 'old one'. I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice. ”
~ Einstein 4 December 1926 on God

“I have second thoughts. Maybe God is malicious. ”
~ Einstein, "later in life" on God

Both are attributable quotes Pup t 09:39, 23/07/2009

I like a lot of these ideas. 3rd person encyclopedic style would be very important to go with, in my opinion. I think someone said that they liked the idea of God being this bumbling idiot, who's really unfit to be running our universe. A couple of ideas that just popped in my head after writing that sentence:

God has actually been elected to run our universe by others....but I actually hate this idea, now that I think about it.
Portray God in the same manner as Lennie from Of Mice and Men, but just stupid, and without the mental handicap. So, he's very good-hearted, but this often gets him into trouble. And he's always trying to help out, but this usually just causes trouble. For example, when he hears so many people from the American Southeast praying for rain during the summer, he gets so worked up that he throws 3 months of hurricanes at them, to try and help. I'm guessing he would feel bad after he sees the destruction he causes.
Ok, after reading what I just wrote, one more idea, that is almost exactly the same as the earlier one. Just that, instead of showing God to be a bumbling idiot, show him as a 5-year-old that does not age, and has no parents to wrangle him in/his parents are on vacation. So he throws temper tantrums, eats too many sweets/goes on sugar highs, takes long naps (probably with ice cream dripping down his face), gets excited and jumps up and down/claps his hands. And what he does, constantly screws things up. Now, how this would actually turn into an article, I have no clue, but I love the idea. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:01, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

So at the moment we have:

3^rd person encyclopaedic
1^st person confessional
God as sports fan
As compulsive gambler
As an elected official (by the collegiate system no doubt!) Edit. I just found this Pup t 04:16, 24/07/2009
As a bumbling idiot (Somewhere between Lenny and Jerry Lewis)
As a 5 year old
Turning the whole lot into a disambiguation page redirecting to anything within Uncyc that is slightly religious

I just made up that last one then. Gimme cookie! Pup t 21:20, 23/07/2009

Alternate Idea[edit]

Just throwing this out there, the above looks good to me. What if instead we write this from the perspective of a child talking about God, whose picture of God is based on various contradictory ideas he has picked up from different people? -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 14:27, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

That sounds very doable. I support this idea. Woody On Fire!

Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:49, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

I also really like this idea, but I have a feeling it'd end up a little light on material. How many contradictory ideas can you think of, and how far could you stretch them? I'm all for this though if we think we can make a full article out of it. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN17:16, 24 Jul

God as Santa Claus; God as a punisher; God as a man on a cross; God as a baby being held by Mary; God as the Pope - And I haven't even gotten outside of Catholicism yet.

I just mistyped God as a punisher and left out the a. I now have an image of a religion that worships the Punisher from Marvel comics. Pup t 23:12, 24/07/2009

We can use it. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 23:16, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm not sure about this concept though. The issue I have with it is that we're effectively creating an article that is based around a changing comic premise, and the main problem with the article as it stands, is a changing comic premise (and a whole bunch of unfunny one-liners.) Not against the idea, but I'm not overly excited either. Pup t 23:43, 24/07/2009

Another alternate idea[edit]

Hi guys, I'm back again after a month-long absense from the IC. Don't I recommend reverting the article to this version, but with some minor adjustments? |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 10:49, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

I think we can do better than that. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 12:53, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Why that version? Most of the historical versions are similar in that there is no cohesion, this just seems to be more of the same. I'm happy to take what's good out of it, but I'd like to know what was good out of it first. Pup t 12:57, 25/07/2009

Because I think that this needs to be said...[edit]

I was having a discussion with someone around what has been done with You and they made a point that I'm beginning to think is very valid and something that we may have to take on board. One of the concepts of Uncyclopedia is that it is an encyclopaedia, albeit a parodical one. (Oooh, I inventeded a word.) Which given the frame that we're working with dropping into first person narrative is probably outside of what the encyclopaedic tone suggests. To which I think that given the significance of this article (ie, we're all likely to burn for an eternity for writing it) it may be best to keep it as close to an encyclopaedic tone as possible. Pup t 03:09, 26/07/2009

Please insert your disagreement below this line For what it's worth, I agree. I normally prefer the encyclopaedic style articles rather than first person. Maybe this could work if it was God talking in first person, but I'm not sure. Mr N Fork you! 19:17, Jul 26

I would just like to point out the following:

-- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 17:50, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually, yes. I'm saying that there are too many examples of first person narrative dressed as articles already, and you give examples of articles in first person narrative. So do I assume you disagree by showing me good articles that go outside the frame, or agree by showing that there are already too many? Pup t 18:33, 26/07/2009

Whichever one means you're wrong. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 19:01, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

Official Concept Vote[edit]

God: The Sports fan[edit]

Encyclopedic 3rd person, Strong For. Not only because it's my idea, but because we could tie it into other shit, like the Greek Olympics, the Roman Coliseums, et al. Also, because more than one person writing a first-person article doesn't make sense, and typically ends up as unnecessarily tone-deaf, controversial, and contradictory (see: Jew) -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
for. this idea makes me giggle the most. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:10, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

God: the gambler[edit]

Encyclopedic third person -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Gambling is the shit. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM! Also vote for the little kid one for me if I can do that, I'm too lazy to do it myself right now. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 21:43, Jul 26
If I can only have the one vote then I'm putting it here. After all, it was my idea which was really just me ripping off the idea that preceded it. Pup t 22:11, 26/07/2009
I'd support combining this with the sports fan one. And when God bets on the wrong guys, he takes revenge on whoever he feels like blaming it on. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:17, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
- I am in strong support of this idea. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 04:43, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
For combining the two per socky. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:38, 29 Jul

God: the elected official[edit]

Encyclopedic third person -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

God: the bumbling fool[edit]

Encyclopedic third person -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

God: the little kid[edit]

Encyclopedic third person -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Yes for. Strong strong for. zh I hate me new sig 08:10 July 30
For. Nameable • mumble? • (UnScr:PWotM) 10:26, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

God: the misconception[edit]

First person, ape's idea -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:08, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
Really really super strong for cos its my idea, and because it is a good idea. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 19:13, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

This doesn't suit comedic tastes[edit]

I don't think having God as any of those will do. I think we need a fresh approach and have God as the omnipotent. |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 10:51, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

God the impotent? Using the nasal spray delivery system? Pup t 12:43, 30/07/2009

uhh[edit]

You guys aren't really gonna leave the intro like that, are you? Because you really, really shouldn't. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 15:45, Aug 1

Fix'd. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:03, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

moving forward[edit]

alright guys, let's go with a third person encyclopedic entry on God the gambling sports fan. let's try not to get too crazy and abstract, i think a straight-man voice would work best in this situation. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:07, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

I hope you don't mind a n00b! But I've done a lot of editing on other wikis including the one that's not funny, or when it is an admin changes it. I like the idea of gambling and conflict, because that can work with anything. And war is just a slightly more dangerous sport than ice hockey, isn't it?

And if you don't know, James Usher really was the 17th century Primate of All Ireland who figured God began creating the universe on the night preceding 23 October 4004 B.C. I think the article will be better if we have a lot of real encyclopedia stuff thrown in (and I'm already used to doing that on that not-funny online encyclopedia). Miley Spears 03:00, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Also I changed the bet. It was funny, but the way it was written God could technically have won the bet by doing nothing. This way, He had to create the universe. And I also added copyright info to the Eye of God photo. Miley Spears 03:02, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, that's sort of what I was going for (albeit very poorly), God's such a compulsive gambler that he made a bet with an "imaginary" character then proceeded to create the universe (include said imaginary character) just so he could continue the bet. But whatever, I'm easy like that. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN20:45, 4 Aug

Oops I screwed up![edit]

I started editing the project before I even signed up to apply! Sorry about that! Please forgive me but I'm a n00b here. I'm not a n00b to wikis as I explained where I finally applied. If you want to spank me hard as punishment I'll understand. Miley Spears 04:40, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

It's alright. If it's one thing I tolerate around here, it's overeager help. I'll let it slide... just this once. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 04:54, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for forgiving me! But, uh, does this mean I don't get a spanking? Damn! Miley Spears 22:52, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

OOOh, I think I'm gonna like this one. Can we keep her? -OptyC Sucks!

CUN22:58, 4 Aug

Why...[edit]

is Satan a woman? Nameable • mumble? 13:47, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Maybe it's a reference to the Mel Gibson movie. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:36, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

What movie? Maybe we could use that. Miley Spears 19:26, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

The Passion of the Christ. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:29, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Because Miley has some sort of fascination with Eris Discordia. The problem is, I don't think Miley's actually looked at that article. It's utter shit. Personally, I think we should change it back to the more traditional Satan, but I didn't want to do it without mentioning it here for fear of alienating a promising new recruit. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN16:38, 6 Aug

I did look at it and I didn't care for that article either. So later maybe we can fix it too. Also there's an article on both the Devil and Satan. And I've edited that not-funny wiki so long it would be really hard to alienate me! So far you peeps are nicer than they are! Miley Spears 19:26, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Maybe we should just ask her if she minds? /calls OI! MILEY! DO YOU MIND IF WE SWITCH SATAN'S SEX BACK? Nameable • mumble? 18:44, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I don't have any more say here than anybody else! lol But what I'm thinking is almost every religion has a male and female side of creation except Judaism-Christianity-Islam. So I thought we could bring it together, the idea being that JCI is male-dominated because they accuse women of being the devil.

My uncle is an expert on religious history, and he said until a few hundred years ago Christians didn't even believe women had souls! Because Adam received the breath of God (the word for breath also means spirit) and Eve came from a rib, Eve didn't have a soul and neither did any women or girls. He said there was a tradition of rabbis that it was better to burn the scripture than to teach a woman! Also some Jews say the first woman was really Lilith, who went against God on purpose (some say she was a demon or vampire), so there's another woman-devil link. Anyway if you don't like it you can change it. Women were regarded as temptressess and sexually promiscuous, while men were supposed to be hunters and war heros. So I thought we could try it if that's OK!

And Mel Gibson? "I had a female business partner once. Didn't work." When asked why, he said that "she was a cunt." Miley Spears 19:06, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I'd rather avoid confusing the issue by bringing in heathen gods. And I'm definitely

Against. portraying Sophia as Satan. So I think I'm gonna switch it back unless there's any objections. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN19:54, 6 Aug

I see your point, but our Goddess link doesn't have to point to Sophia. And the Bible, Torah, and Qu'ran are full of heathen gods, including Satan. It's fundamental to those religions that it's "the one true God" vs. false god(s). If we cut that out, there's nobody for God to bet against. Also I'm working on an Adam and Eve section that I think will tie it all together. Should have it up in the next 24 hours. If you could give it a chance? Then if peeps still don't like it, I'll be happy to personally rewrite it to make Satan male. :) Miley Spears 20:39, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Changed Goddess link for Optimuschris :) Miley Spears 20:43, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I didn't make myself very clear. What I mean is, we're writing about the Chrisian "God" so I think we should keep Satan as the Christian Satan and not intermingle God's arch nemesis with other heathen gods. I have no problem bringing in other deities for god to gamble with, but keep them as their own seperate deities. THere's plenty of material to work with with the Christian Satan, I see no need to muddy the waters with what could easily be construed as wikkan nonsense. I won't make any changes till Saturday anyway, as I won't really have time till then. But if there's no convincing argument to the contrary by then I'm going to change it. Nothing personal Miley, I am glad to have you onboard.-OptyC Sucks!

CUN20:59, 6 Aug

I'm seeing this as the Christian-Jewish-Muslim God. They're largely the same (except that Trinitarian Christianity has three gods, which is more like Hinduism), all going back to Abraham/Ibrahim. There are nearly as many Muslims in the world as Christians, and the same number of Muslims as Jews in America. I know if we add everything this article could become as long as unworkably long as Uncyclopedia: Requested Articles. But I think just some highlights--Creation, Adam and Eve, Abraham, Noah, Moses, Muhammad and Jesus--won't be too long. Miley Spears 21:23, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I changed it so Satan is now male. I would like to keep it where he was she (Christian and Jewish scripture both say the Garden of Eden's serpent, identified with Satan, was physically transformed after Adam and Eve fell. I just twisted it a bit). Miley Spears 23:10, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

American, British or Canadian?[edit]

I noticed that in some places we're using American quotes (start with " then go to ' for internal quotes, instead of the British other way round), and in some places we're using American spellings and in some British. I don't care which we use, but do we want to decide on which? And before someone says it's funny this way, I doubt anyone will laugh at criticize vs. criticise. Miley Spears 19:36, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

It doesn't matter. These are minor issues. See UN:N. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 19:47, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Aye, we can address voice inconsistancies later. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN19:55, 6 Aug

Should we keep Biblical Quotes as Biblical Quotes?[edit]

I think it's funnier to use real quotes from the Bible. People have been taking them out of context for years. For example, There's a verse in the Bible, "Judas went and hung himself." And there's another, "Go thou and do likewise."

In this article, the Bible really does report that Jesus said, "I am Christ, and shall deceive many." (Mark 13:6). But it's taken out of context. I think if we do fake Bible quotes (and don't forget the Jewish Torah and the Muslim Qu'ran), we could use fake book names. For example, it's a classic take off to call Genesis "Generations" and Revelation "Revolutions." There's also The Gospel According to Fred, The Book of Uterus, etc. Miley Spears 20:51, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I think we should keep quotes, biblical or otherwise, to an absolute minimum. We tend to not like quotes too much at Uncyc. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN21:17, 6 Aug

No offense because I know you've been here a LOT longer than me. But is it really Uncyc that doesn't like quotes, or just a few editors? Almost every well-written article I've seen here has quotes. Also virtually everything written about the Bible/Torah/Qu'ran seems to use quotes. I don't think the article will feel believable (i. e. funny) without them. Miley Spears 21:26, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Well, I obviously can't speak for everybody, but the general consensus is that quotes are lazy and not funny. If you check the history you'll see that the quotes at the beginning of the article have already been removed twice (once by me even). I've come around to those quotes because they are funny and do fit in with the article. But I think others will agree that quotes, if used, need to be funny and kept to a minimum. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN21:41, 6 Aug

Also, I'm refering to quotes on their own, like the first three. Quotes within the text of the article aren't as hated. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN21:43, 6 Aug

With all due respect, you may notice that when you've deleted the quotes I put there, someone other than me has put them back. I got half of the quote bit from earlier versions of this article, and added them because I thought they were funny. I then adapted them to this version of the article. Guess it's a matter of opinion. :) Miley Spears 23:13, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

LOL. I know. TKF put them back, and I put them back the second time. As I said, I've come around to them. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN23:16, 6 Aug

My bad. But it's not my fault. I got hit in the head with a brick. A rabid dog bit me and I went crazy. Space aliens mixed up my brain. Maybe that's why I'm here! :) Miley Spears 00:13, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

<opinion> Actually, I like {{q2}} quotes, and I like lead-in quotes for chapters. The real issue for me is a huge amount of unfunny quotes at the start of an article. </opinion>Pup t 08:07, 7/08/2009

That's why at the start of this article we only have a few unfunny quotes. No, I meant funny. Really. Miley Spears 00:26, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Female Satan, Discordianism and other boring shit that shouldn't be in this[edit]

OK, look, we want this to be funny. Unless we want the concept of Satan as the Goddess to be the main comedic thrust of the article (which we shouldn't, because it wont be funny), we should stick to the standard Judeo-Christian version. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 01:49, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

All right, it seems I'm the only one who wants that, so I'll concede. But please give me one line. This is where Eris leaves and becomes a Goddess(which Satan does tell Eve will happen in Christian and Jewish scripture--I didn't make that part up) and changes her name to Eris. Can I have that one line? Miley Spears 02:14, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

It's not my place to say no, but I would be against it. Comedy has to relate to people's preconceptions in order to work. Since none of this is particularly well known, I don't think it fits, to be honest. I would encourage you to keep editing this though, because some of what you added is funny. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 02:22, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. I've given up on the whole Satan-Goddess thing (sigh). But on the small point, anyone who's read either the Christian or Jewish version of Genesis will know the part about Satan telling Adam's wife (in Islam it's Adam and Eve) that if she eats of the tree of knowledge she'll be like god or the gods (some versions say they'll be gods--Mormons I think believe they are the gods of Earth). That is common knowledge to anyone who's likely to read this article, fits the article, and I think works. Miley Spears 02:33, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

The Satan-Goddess thing is too close to what some fundies believe, actually. In medieval times, sadly, females were considered morally inferior to males, and more vulnerable, considered as property of males, thus making them easier to demonize in witch hunts. The idea of Eve eating a fruit and the devil changing gender as a result of something Eve did could be funny though. I just don't see it as fitting with the tone of the rest of the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 02:38, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

As my Uncle the Biblical scholar told me (where do I think I got this stuff?), Christian theologians reasoned that: Adam received the breath of life from God, and the word used for breath is the same as spirit. Eve was made from Adam's rib, and was thus flesh. Therefore, women and girls do not have souls. But anyway, I've already conceded. Uncyc is unfortunately full of articles where many different people have tossed in many different ideas of what they think is funny, and this makes them not funny. The people who are adding to this article are very funny, and I've happy to be working with them! :) Miley Spears 03:05, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Lilith or no Lilith?[edit]

I don't want this to turn into an edit war, so wanted people's opinions.

Please look at the differences at http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia%3AImperial_Colonization%2Fproject&diff=4036024&oldid=4035693 and post which version you like best! :) Miley Spears 16:08, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

IMO, the version with Lilith seems to meander away from the main point of the article, which is God is a gambling sports fan. I see no real reason to go into the creation mythology to deeply. I'm not opposed to mentioning Lilith, but if we do it needs to be within the context of the article. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN16:20, 7 Aug

And she's buyyyying a stairway, to heaven. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 16:26, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

you could certainly create another article to focus on this stuff, but i think we need to try and stay as on-topic as possible, and as opty said, it really doesn't fit well. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:53, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments! You've helped me a lot to sort through this, and I see your points. The Adam and Eve section had very few gambling references in either version, so I added some. As of this moment, Lilith gets only one mention, which is tied directly to the gathering souls bet. There's Nevada (Las Vegas) and New Jersey (Atlantic City), the two biggest gambling places in Amerika (Las Vegas was first). There's a brief mention of organized crime (the Mafia used to run Las Vegas, which ironically is why the casinos were virtually crime free--nobody wanted to mess with the Mafia). The quick reference to God and Goddess relates to the beliefs of the Mormon Church. I miss my former paragraphs, but I think the section is tighter and funnier now. You peeps are coolness! :) Miley Spears 18:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm done with this[edit]

My edits are constantly reverted, I see no point in bothering any more. Fuck you all. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 23:34, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

But, but, I reinserted all your material! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:42, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I bet you "reinserted" it. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN23:47, 7 Aug

Actually, he reinserted it hard and deep. All I saw was the big revert, and not the fact that he was in the middle of reinserting my shit. So sorry. But still, fuck you all. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 23:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

You want to fuck us all? You sir, are gay! Gay, I say! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

can i join in ur fuck Staircase CUN^t 23:58, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Sure, send us a photograph of your genitals and you are in. -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 00:08, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Photo of genitals Pup t 01:10, 8/08/2009

Oh My God that's Obscene! Remove your genitals at once! Miley Spears 01:18, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

You know, I think that's the first time that anybody has ever asked me to remove my genitals. Pup t 01:35, 8/08/2009

If you'll look carefully, Ape, you'll notice that two of my edits specifically mentioned putting some of your stuff back in. That was part of my notes for both http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia:Imperial_Colonization/project&oldid=4035051 and http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia:Imperial_Colonization/project&oldid=4035063. I threw out some of the stuff I'd written and put in yours because I thought some of your stuff was better. I admit I want everybody to love my stuff. But if it doesn't work, we can axe it, I can go cry in the corner for five minutes or have a good night's sleep, them come back and make it better. :) Miley Spears 00:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Look, all I'm saying is the only things that could possibly be good are things that I have written. What could possibly be wrong with that? -- furry Ape (affiliate) (Riot Porn) 00:16, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

I am going to take a break from this article for a bit. I took a nap and dreamt about it. When you start dreaming about writing an article it's time to do something else for a while. But I'll be back! :) Miley Spears 00:21, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

The First People: Adam & Eve[edit]

This looks great! But in this section, it talks about losing a bet but doesn't say what the bet is? I looked through the history and it looks like a lot of really good stuff was cut in the battle. The female Satan part is probably better for another article. But I really like the soul-less Lilith gag and the Mormon Gods part. I'll look throught it some more. Binky The WonderSkull 07:04, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

I tried to fill some holes! Binky The WonderSkull 07:41, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

And you did, you hole-filler you. Miley Spears 00:07, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

God goes into commercial life[edit]

I find this section mindly funny, but does it fit the tone of the article? Can that be fixied? Binky The WonderSkull 00:52, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

I think it's funny too, but it just doesn't fit. Peeps have had three days to make it fit, and it hasn't happened. I'm going to be a bold n00b and remove it. If someone can make it fit the article, go for it! In the meantime, maybe this could be used in a cereal article or something? Miley Spears 00:02, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Break times over let's finish the job[edit]

Not much has happened here recently. Sorry I was gone all weekend. I think this article could literally go on forever if we use everything God related. Here's my ideas for what we could use. Of course you don't have to listen to me (unless you know what's good for you). These I think could be brief:

Abraham and his half-sister wife Sarah (Abraham is the father of Judaism/Christianity/Islam and maybe Bahai) following God. And his cousin Lot (casting lots was a major gambling game in the Bible).

Moses and the 10 Commandments. This ties in all the Abrahamic religions, which is what we're writing here.

Muhammad and the man who wrote his words for him. And let's make this funny and not just insulting. (This could be longer if we get someone who really knows Islam).

Maybe a longer section:

God and Gambling in modern day (the Roman Catholic Church and Bingo has to be in there somewhere).

And don't forget to keep going the ancient bet that God can't get more souls than Satan! Miley Spears 00:20, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

My social papers say that Im a muslim. I might be able to help Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool

00:29 August 12 '09

Cool. Before you start, go to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and add your name to Hey, sign up here! (Membership requests) and sign up. Don't act like some foolish n00b who started editing the article before she bothered to sign up. some foolish n00b who calls herself Miley Spears 01:28, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Ahem.. Excuse me, but I'm a veteran, I believe I served her majesty five times before.. See for yourself :P Also, nice to meet you, Miley :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool

02:49 August 12 '09

What? You expect me to actually research the facts before I make a fool of myself? What is this, Wikipedia? Nice to meet you too. :) Miley Spears 02:56, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Is it too late to join this? I was just going to wait til it's Thomas' turn but I wouldn't mind helping with this either... --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 01:38, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Come on in, the water's fine! Of course I have no authority whatsoever to invite anybody, but I invited myself and they haven't drowned me yet! And congrats on being a fellow twice nominated n00b of the month nominee who doesn't qualify! We're the only two in history! At least for this month. Miley Spears 03:05, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

That's totally fine. Nobody gets rejected, normally, unless there is some bad history or something.. New members are always welcome, I guess :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool

03:12 August 12 '09

Only two people have edited this in the last four days. I say it's almost done. I can see adding a section on Moses and some modern gambling and a bit about sports. Sorry, Miley, but I don't see a need for an Abraham section unless it's really funny. Can we set a deadline for finishing this? Like say in a few days? Then let's do a pee review and be done with I think's a great article. Binky The WonderSkull 03:38, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Abraham's the father of Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Bahai. They all go back to Abraham. That's why I think it's important. But of course it has to be funny! I think finishing it in a few days is good. I'll be gone again this weekend then pretty soon I'm back to school. So where is everybody else? Miley Spears 18:46, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Please read this article very carefully before you edit[edit]

I know it should go without saying, but "Please read this article very carefully before you edit." Several people have contributed, and there may be a very quick, minor reference in one section that grows to be a full-blown joke in another. Cut out that one phrase or even word and you could kill the joke.

That's another reason to finish this quickly. Other than adding a section or two, any major edits will probably make this less funny. If you don't believe me, find a article that was featured six months before, and read both versions. Binky The WonderSkull 03:35, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Also a lot of the crazier sounding stuff is actually based on the Bible, Qu'ran, Torah, Talmud, Mishna, Book of Mormon, real-world history, real-life language, etc. A few examples: real-life Jews pretended to be playing Dreidel to hide their scripture study groups; "Lo Giuoco del Lotto d'Italia" really does translate in English as something more-or-less similar to "clear out your bank account by playing the Italian lottery" (Giuoco means "clearance"); what's called Bingo in one country really is called "Housie" or "Housey Housey" in others. Hopefully, this article will be funny to Jews, Christians, Muslims, Mormons, Bahai's, agnostics, atheists, etc. The strict fundamentalists in various religions may not find it funny, but you can't please everybody. Miley Spears the know-it-all n00b 02:00, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Both humor and drama are made in the details. These details are great! But I'm not sure if the Monty Python bits really fit. Opinions? Binky The WonderSkull 04:18, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

If you don't think Monty Python's funny then cut it. It's only in two places so it's not that important to me. :) Miley Spears 18:39, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Arbitrary wrap-up and Pee Review[edit]

Gonna give y'all 24 hours to apply the final coat of paint, then re-add that feature template from way back. Git! -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 05:16, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

This is good, right? Really, I think it's ready for a Pee Review--after it gets more photos. Binky The WonderSkull 05:51, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

It has more photos! What think, all? Pee Review time? Binky The WonderSkull 05:46, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

I really like the new stuff. But I really think we could use a section on Abraham, Moses and Job (which really was about a bet). But I know the article can go on forever. Maybe just a short part on each before the Pee Review? Miley Spears 19:00, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

I just added a section on the above called God's Greatest Prophets. It can use some pics, then I think this will be ready for a Pee Review! Miley Spears 22:22, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Added picies (and a letter i). Now it's ready. But I think Miley should be the one to submit it to be peed on. Binky The WonderSkull 22:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Some really talented people worked on this and I think it's great! Nobody has objected to a Pee Review, and everyone who's edited in the last week agrees it's ready for it. Binky thinks I should do it (are you Binky the Chicken? lol) so I will! Miley Spears The Bold and Foolish Noob 01:04, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Pee Review will appear at Uncyclopedia:Pee_Review/Uncyclopedia:Imperial_Colonization/project_(God). I hope! Miley Spears 01:24, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

MacMania gave us a Pee Review at the address above. Says we done good! Now what do we do? Miley Spears 22:34, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Now I mainspace and we get started on the next project. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 01:29, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Vote for God--How?[edit]

I just tried nominating God at Uncyclopedia:VFH/God. It shows up there but not on the main VFH page. What did I do wrong? Miley Spears 02:14, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

You or anyone can vote HERE ---- Binky The WonderSkull 03:44, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Who ...[edit]

... fucked up this article? I was looking at it about a week ago and now it's completely changed. Where did the "In popular culture" section go? That Lost reference was really funny. --Ozymandiaz 20:59, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

It was an Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization project. If you'd like to help screw up our next article, apply to join! Also there's several other God related articles. Do a search and you might find one where that section fits! Miley Spears 22:59, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Chaars. --Ozymandiaz 12:30, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

god, a notorius pig[edit]

porco dio madonna puttana gesu cristo imbalsamato dalla sborra marcia del papa ratzinger pedofilo affogato nella merda degli angeli gesu cristo scalzo nella valle dei chiodi dio deserto porco per ogni granello di sabbia cristiani repressi figli di puttana san pietro strozzato nella figa della madonna stronza gesu cristo idiota testa di cazzo gesu cristo a pecorina nella città dei sodomizzatori dio cane dio dal culo infestato dalla diarrea

ciao Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool

01:39 September 10 '09

your parents and there bet with god...[edit]

They lost in a game of Dice.

But this should all of been obvious since your here....

Evidence to Support God's Sense of Humour[edit]

Platypus. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 124.170.20.110 (talk • contribs)

Last Name[edit]

God's last name should be Damned, God Damned. Think about it... .

Freddy Krueger[edit]

This... is god —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 204.191.134.4 (talk • contribs)

YouTube video[edit]

So, I made a YouTube video.

380px

I put it under the Moses section but Socky reverted it, and I would like to have this piece included in the article if at all possible. What do you think? Yes? No? --Hotadmin4u69^[TALK]03:24 Feb 6 2010

Against. Really I feel that's kind of scary not funny. But I don't know. Maybe in a different article?

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 06:28, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

You fucker! That wasn't me at all! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:56, 6 February 2010

Whoever the user might have been, the note was "With all due respect to fine user EMC, I don't see how this adds to God the Gambler." WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio} 18:03, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

This video is hilarious and deserves to be in the article. The whole "God the Gamber" gag is beyond mediocre. --Ozymandiaz 20:48, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

Whether or not someone likes the article as is, if we're adding things to the article, I think they should fit it. The article does not say the Earth was destroyed by or for Moses, and the article doesn't end there. Personally, I find the video impressive but not funny (seeing planets and all their lifeforms destroyed disturbs me, even if I know it is fiction. Sorry; we all have our silly quirks). But if it had a caption that fit the article, maybe it could work. WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio} 02:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Somewhat related - what would people say if this were to be re-written? Miley especially. Pup

From glancing at the history in my official capacity as new head of IC (say, isn't everyone impressed?), I think the group that preceeded me did an excellent job colonizing the article. Frankly, I like it better than the featured version. If someone wants to make a new article about God, I'd say do it but name it something different. But consider there's already two dozen or more different articles about God; personally, I'd suggest working on something else. (And by the way, as it happens IC is currently working on Creationism. There may well be a way to tie this video in with that). WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio} 03:39, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know cuz its good I guess but I really I don't feel the vids funny.

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 17:14, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

God: Me[edit]

YEA! That's right bitches! I am god.

666 SATAN 666

<3333333333333333333

God(I) likes to butt fuck with satan! God's ass is Satan's property! Satan has a red, veiny, thorny and throbbing dick and I love it! <3333 Xoxo God —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Graceohlala (talk • contribs)

Two words: EPIC FAIL! -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 06:03, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

That's absurd. i'm God. --Ozymandiaz 15:19, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

God is a virus?[edit]

I saw the virus or whatever it was, which is why I blanked the page, then restored the page without it. Hopefully that took care of it. I know it's April Fools, but I don't find viruses funny. WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio} 01:48, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

God DOESNT EXIST AND WHY CANT WE EDIT THIS PAGE? OFFENSIVE? COME ON! GOD ISNT MORE REAL THAN SANTA CLAUS OR DARTH VADER![edit]

God is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. And he was was stabbed with a poisonious knife called rationality by Charles Darwin and no cure has been found yet. So God is slowly dying. =) —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 84.53.56.100 (talk • contribs)

Dude, we know. This is a humour wiki. It's not supposed to push ideas unescessarily. It's here to make fun. Orian57 Talk

11:44 27 April 2010

A lot of people believe in God and a lot believe in God and Goddess. But you're judging God by what people believed thousands of years ago. Some people still believe he's that way but you can't judge all believers like that. That's like saying you know an American who believes Hannah Montana is real so everyone who watches it believes that. :)

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:47, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Um no. I wasn't judging god by what people belive about him, I don't belive in any god so judging one in particular would be rather pointless. I judge belivers by what they say they belive (Which on the face of it is usually all sweetness and light untill they casusally throw out some anti semetic/sexist/homophobic/infanticidile ect comment). I have a problem with belief and faith because It's factually wrong and either incites hatred or protects those who do. I don't see why your bending over backwards to protect something you see has and is continuing to hurt people... Orian57 Talk

00:58 28 April 2010

I'm not bending over backwards. Not everybody who edits here is an atheist! I believe and I don't hurt anybody because of it. :) And 84.53.56.100 if you sign up for an account you can edit the article. It's protected because it was featured.

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:05, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hannah Montana DOESNT EXIST AND WHY CANT WE EDIT THIS PAGE? OFFENSIVE? COME ON! HANNAH MONTANA ISNT MORE REAL THAN SANTA CLAUS OR DARTH VADER![edit]

Hannah Montana is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. And she was was stabbed with a poisonious knife called rationality by Charles Darwin and no cure has been found yet. So Hannah Montana is slowly dying. =) —The preceding unsigned comment was added by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk • contribs)

Hannah Montana really did all those things? Oh my God! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk)

GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:57, 28 April 2010

Miley cyrus on the other hand spreads only the word of peace and love. Orian57 Talk

01:00 28 April 2010

Wait, wait, go back to where Miley Spears was bending over backwards. Did anyone get a pic? Al sans chains 1:08 28 4

No one got a pic, silly. And Hannah Montana is not those things it just says them in the Uncyclopedia article. Miley's grown out of her role and she's ending Hannah Montana in January. She said "I hate being thought of as a product." Did you see her in "The Last Song?" She's totally different and the movie did great in the box office.

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:32, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Took one while she wasn't watching... • Puppy's talk page • 00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 02:57, Apr 28 2010 UTC

Puppy you promised you'd stop hiding under my bed!

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:09, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

John 16:15 (Jesus actually claims God's pile)[edit]

"All that belongs to the Father is mine."

There you have it. God struck down Jesus for flat out claiming god's winnings.

Special thins bout GOD[edit]

The god named Jesus was,is and will be the best gambler ever in heaven. He even bet Satan would somehow with his erotic movie "Adam n Eve". And so Satan sent one of his many sons to snap few shots of Eve. God also is an ultimate Heaven's wrestling entertainment superstar. Since he can create anything he tends to use your mom, your mom's underwear, your dad's aftershave(no god does't use aftershave he can control his hair growth), condoms, Hugh Hefner and every thin in this world since it is he who has created it all.

Well you should't get on god's bad side because 1.He can punish you and 2.this is gonna b real bad and ur not gonna like it God's farts are fit for a god -_- I know he is god. Basically they stink extra so yea ud die.

Pen names[edit]

I would suggest that; "who also goes by the aliases Yahweh, Allah and Jehovah to evade debt collectors" should be updated to; "who also goes by the pen names Yahweh, Allah and Jehovah".

Am I crazy or am I just ass-kicking awesome? --MrMe 19:32, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

ATHEISM[edit]

Some people deny the fact that a god exists. Usually it is for one of the following reasons.

Scientific crap says otherwise
Fear that someone is watching you in the shower
Accepting the fact that "someone" clearly is going to hell
Having lived long enough to know that a "nice God" must not be real

Although most reasons have to do with denial and fear, atheists make up an important part of the current economy. However, by 2012, a single fact will shine through. There won't be a single Athiest around. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Metastriker (talk • contribs)

Interesting points, and I feel that a response is in order.

Faith in science and in a deity of some form is not mutually exclusive.
Many paranoids do believe in God
A denial of the existence of a Christian God is a denial if the existence of Hell - at least in a Dante's inferno conceptualisation anyway. Also, with no divine moral compass to live by the concept of a punishment for not living up to the rules of a religion after death seems more than a tad incongruous. Furthermore, Christianity teaches that all men have sinned and fallen short if the glory of God, so no matter how nice or nasty you are you deserve to go to Hell.
Who said he/she/shme/it is good

And as for no Atheist around in 2012, didn't we just go through the rapture? Pup 06:55 12 Jun '11

Feature credit for IC members[edit]

I've been asked to make a judgement. IC was a different make-up when this was done, and the rule then was If you were part of it, then give yourself a half feature. I'm going to stick by that rule in this case. That means Miley, Socky, TKF, me, Ape, Gerry, Mooshy, and anyone else who was here can claim credit. While I cooked up a lot of the concept, my work on the writing was mainly later and cosmetic. In short - if you think you deserve a credit, go for it. If you had nothing to do with it, don't. • Puppy's talk page • 12:46 11 Apr

I remember praying to God once, something about sex or drugs, and there was a balloon or a squeaky toy involved . So do I get 1/2 feature too? Aleister 13:14 11-4-'12

God hates vegans. • Puppy's talk page • 01:29 11 Apr

Too focused on the Abrahamic concept (specifically Christian) concept of God...[edit]

The majority of the article seems to be heavily biased and slanted toward the Christian concept, or more broadly speaking, the Abrahamic concept of God. Most of its own satire is directed at the Christian god that is called God. Though, it would make sense that way, since many English speakers may acquire knowledge about Christianity either by direct upbringing or cultural osmosis. Still, the very fact that the article seems to be so biased toward the Christian concept of God may suggest that the writers themselves really have a thing for the Christian concept of God. Either a person hates something or loves something, that person still bears some emotional weight on that thing. Lack of emotion would be apathy, and the person probably wouldn't care to write about something that he doesn't care about in the first place. 140.254.227.140 15:45, February 27, 2013 (UTC)

This was a colonized article, meaning many writers worked together on an existing page. I wasn't involved, nor have I ever read it. There are a lot of Jewish based pages here, and some Islam, etc. If I was writing the God page I'd stick with one or the other. All that aside, you seem to write well enough to pass grammar school, so is it possible you'd like to try your hand at satire, either on an existing page or starting one of your own. You'd get lots of advice if you'd like that, or tell people to leave you alone for awhile. Just an option. Good to see you care enough for the very best, God or uncyclopedia. Aleister 16:08 27-2-'13

Aye. It would not only be remarkable, it would not make for good comedy, if persons working on a satire encyclopedia page on God did not have a point of view, or at least claim to be writing from a point of view. Separately, there is nothing particularly wrong with the Christian point of view, or at least our only criterion is whether it works as humor. Yes, do pick a user name and stick around; you will quickly find that we ridicule all faiths and races without sacred cows (if I may slap at Hinduism). Spıke Ѧ 16:51 27-Feb-13

As one of the writers of this article - and one of the main contributors to the concept - I should say something here. And that is, you're absolutely correct. There was a discussion about trying to cover a multitude of beliefs, or focus on one doctrine alone. The decision was to stick to the Christian God - simply because trying to make with the funny with a changing god figure was going to be far too scattered.

The other major factor was the knowledge base of our writers. Two of the writers - myself and User:Miley Spears - had fairly extensive knowledge of the Christian god. Miley through a family member, and myself as an ex-preacher. The overall concept of god the gambler came from the book of Job initially. So there was a thought method behind this. And from my perspective, this article works well. A scattered concept would have lead to a scattered article. • Puppy's talk page • 05:19 27 Feb 2013

An ex-preacher??? I must now watch my language around you, and be polite and hold my coffee cup with two hands. Do you want money to fix the roof or something? Should I call you Mr. OnTheRadio or just Minister Radio? Oh my, and the things you've exposed yourself too here, unspeakable things. We shall not speak of them. Aleister many hours later as the crow flys

Now you mention it, we do need money to support our mission in Africa… • Puppy's talk page • 01:32 28 Feb 2013

The great collaberation[edit]

Ultimately, God and Satan did something they had never done before: a collaboration. They invented the In Nomine roleplaying game where players take the side of God (Alliance) or Satan (Horde), and battle it out directly for each other's souls.[11] The ultimate fate of God's power and the world's souls may well be decided in World of Warcraft. This MMORPG was by far the greatest work that "they" had made and gave both great number of souls —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Dinte (talk • contribs)

God is also an actor[edit]

The article forgot to say that God is an actor, best know playing Morgan Freeman in the famous film Reality.

This would distract from the comedic strategy used in the article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 00:12, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Rude is nor funny[edit]

Some phrases on this page are just plain rude. I understand that this wiki is made for fun, but remember you are writing abour religion, topic very sensitive for many people. Insulting what is dear to others is not cool. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Janus M N (talk • contribs)

Sorry, we have articles in our encyclopedia on most of the things that are dear to people. A clame of sensitivity is not sufficient for us to stop doing what we do. We do value humor that is in good taste, however. Spıke 🎙️14:41 18-Mar-16

Thanks GOD I passed the class[edit]

Thanks GOD for this article. I passed a required Christianity class without reading anything except this article. ALL GLORY TO GOD 24.172.241.150 15:15, August 30, 2018 (UTC)

Wow, really? That's nice of you to say, but it would have been better if you'd found a more reliable source. Good for you though. ❦ Llwy-ar-lawr • talk • contribs • 06:15 31 August 2018

Hahahaha. In reality, I had some prior knowledge about Christianity and I was usually in the class as well. But I really didn't do any of the required readings. This article puts all those in a coherent and memorable narrative to which you can attach more details. I wouldn't have remembered all the details professor said in the class if I was not making funny pictures about Jesus, God and prophets in my mind. 192.68.112.170

Rename Benson[edit]

This article should be renamed Benson, due to the fact that Benson is the one true deity. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Dark Lord Thomas Pie (talk • contribs)