Beaver Cleavage
Charles Warrington (born May 28, 1971), better known by his ring name Beaver Cleavage, was a famous professional wrassler known for his 1980s tenure with the World Wildlife Wrestling Foundation Federation (WWWFF). The Beaver, or The Beave, as he liked to be called for short, became one of the most rodent-like wrestlers in WWWFF sports entertainment history.
Stage name[edit]
Warrington got his stage name based on the lead character in Leave It, It's Beaver, an American evening sit-com about a pre-teen boy with an inexplicable revulsion to the human vulva. The series was sensationalistic, as it occurred a full half century before homosexuality was taught in grade schools. Playground bullies mocked the TV character for his aversion, eventually nicknaming him "Beaver" or just "Beave". There are stories in Variety that Warrington was one of these, at one point beating him up for his lunch money.
Beaver in the Ring[edit]
The Beave looked like a 6'3 monkey's ass in the face, and a twelve-pound rhino's ball-sack for his body, followed by a pair of buffaloes' anus-holes as his legs. However these downfalls were overlooked because his breasts resembled, what would be called today, "camel toe". His chest was his greatest feature, and in his skimpy little bikinis he would distract opponents with a "Cleavage Shake", where he jiggled what his momma gave him, and would distract many opponents long enough to gain a victory.
His Beavage Cleavage, however, did not always work. As he was put out of commission for nine months after Andre the Giant, got so turned on, he titty-fucked The Beave for over twelve minutes of brutal carnage at BummerSlam '86'. The Beave would be sidelined, and needed Beaver reconstruction to his lower half nipple tissue. Once the Beave returned he challenged Andre to a rematch and the results where devastating as Andre again got horny, this time sidelining Beave for 16 months when Andre broke into one of Beave's humongous 36-DD breasts, and tore it a new beaver hole!
Come Back Cleavage[edit]
Beave returned to the ring at WrestleFakia as a last minute entry to the Royal Fumble. Beave entered the contest at number 69 and lasted twelve seconds before Andre turned around to see his beloved Cleavage, and The Beave jumped over the rope and eliminated himself as he ran back to the locker room, with a horny giant closely tailing his ass. Beave would return to regular action and begin a feud against "Pussy Ballsack". There rivalry lasted over six months, going cameltoe to cameltoe with each other. The Beave would be triumphant during their final battle at the 1991 MacGyver Series when Beave and his three team-mates; Cuntous-Tittis, Breasticles & Willy-Willy-bum-Bum Face defeated Pussy Ballsack, Cock-Face, Scrotum-Piles and Herpes The Love Bug in an epic battle of showmentit and bra-very.
Beaver vs. The Giant[edit]
Andre was getting riled up about Beaver not being around when he needed something to slam onto the ground. Andre interfered in one of Beave's matches, then the giant proceeded to beat the crap out of the Beaver until the Beaver was all torn up and bleeding. It was one of the most bloodiest aftermaths in Beaver's history. Audiences, including children, where horrified at how badly the Giant had beaten up the Beaver; the Beaver just lay in the ring convulsing for air. The Beave was dragged out of the ring by Andre's finger and was about to receive another pummeling when Hulk Hogan ran down to ringside to stop the Giant from doing more damage to the Beaver. Hulkster body-slammed a fully grown Elephant onto Andre then helped Beave up. They celebrated by flexing their muscles for the crowd for 15 hours straight as Andre clucked around backstage, frantically flapping his wings in disbelief.
The following week, Hulk and Beave where teamed up to take on Andre the Giant and the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase at the live house show taping of WWF in Your House. The two teams squared off with Andre first taking it to Hulkster before The Giant turned its sights on Cleavage. Hulk stopped Andre from getting near the Beaver, but soon Andre lured Hulkster to the corner of the ring where his partner was, who reached into his underwear, scratched up some crabs and lice, and threw it into Hulkster's face, blinding him momentarily. With Hulkster now out of the way, DiBiase and The Giant went to work, double-teaming the Beaver. They would pull off some excellent two-man maneuverings around the Beaver. Beaver started to bleed, but this didn't stop The Giant from pummeling more out on the Cleavage.
The crowed chanted for Hulkster to "Get the fuck up, get the fuck up, get the fuck up." Hulkster staggered blindly to find something to wash his eyes out with. He found The Beaver's bottle of juice and poured the Beaver juice all over his face. Now Hulk could see clearly again, and it was time to save The Beaver from the double-team attack by Ted and the Giant.
Hulk dashed into the ring, and punched up Ted and The Giant, as he had done many times before. Hulk then whipped Ted over the ropes, but was clobbered on the back by the Giant. Hulk didn't go down though, he just turned around with wide eyes and pointed at the Giant. The Giant took a swing at Hogan, but Hogan counted Andre with his 24 inch-python which he repeated again, and again, then punched the Giant in the head. As the Giant looked dazed, Hogan whipped him into the rope, when he bounced back he dropped him to the floor with a big boot, said a prayer, ate some steroids, then ran into the ropes... ran back to the grounded opponent and let go a rip-roaring fart, so powerful it elevated him off the ground at least twelve feet into the air! When the fart stopped, Hogan came crashing back down on Andre with his leg over Andre's chest, and then went and quickly grabbed Cleavage to cover the Giant for the 3-Count and the win! A great day at the park when you see a beaver smother a Giant!
Retirement[edit]
The Beaver just got old after a while. The Cleavage's body sagged, and he couldn't keep up with the new guys coming in, so the Beaver hung up his boots on his rack, handed back the WWF prescriptions for steroids, and retired to the lovely town of Dildo, Newfoundland, where Beaver enjoys taking in the town life.