Cornbread
“Yeaahh Okaaay! Skeet skeet skeet!”
“Ain't nothin' wrong with that!”
Cornbread is a delicacy served in the Southern United States. Properly prepared, it occupies all four major food groups: Sugary, crunchy, crumby, and greasy. It is second only to grits at giving street-cred to aspiring African-Americans.
Cornbread was accidentally discovered by George Washington Carver. It has been used in a variety of ways. One may find cornbread crumbs coating porches from Alabama to Harlem and Watts. Cornbread goes well with watermelon and lynch mobs. Since it is low in carbohydrates and high on life, enjoying a piece every now and then will not result in a beer gut. When running from the police or siring a large, illegitimate family, if a hunger pang arises, cornbread will not weigh you down, so fleeing should be as easy as the job you have but are too lazy to wake up on time to attend. Many people use cornbread not just as food but as bling. In the ghetto, many rims on cars are made entirely of cornbread. Black people also layer their teeth in cornbread to have an especially iced-up grill. Rappers wear jewelry made of the versatile bread.
Why cornbread is so crunk[edit]
- Great for building houses in the ghetto.
- Great for sponging up blood from gunshot wounds.
- Makes sweet temp grill bling.
- May be used as a club with which to beat one's wife and children.
- Satisfying snack during Good Times or Roots reruns.
- Flavor crystals balance the astringency of malt liquor — refreshing after a hard day of pushing around the mop.
Other cornbreads[edit]
Cedric "Cornbread" Maxwell (born November 21, 1955) is a well-loved ex-player and radio broadcaster of the Boston Celtics basketball team. Maxwell picked up the nickname after a teammate went to see the movie Cornbread, Earl and Me[1] and thought Maxwell resembled the star. After a tournament in 1976, the nickname stuck like, well, cornbread on one's fingers, the New York media finding he responded to it more faithfully than to, "Hey, you!"
Cornbread of the 1975 movie was a stand-out athlete fatally shot by police in a tragic case of mistaken black identity. Maxwell has never been fatally shot, as he knows they are after autographs, which he always stops and signs. In fact, Maxwell has grown to hate both the nickname and the sickly Dixie staple, often stating, "I would rather make an extra alimony payment than eat that crap!"
References[edit]
- ↑ Should be and I
