Ghost Rider

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Ghost Rider

Not long after his foray into local politics, Mayor Rider set up a BDSM dungeon, which also served as a local college hangout.

Publisher None
First appearance After selling his soul.
Created by Marvel and Harley Davidson
Real name Arthur Higgins
Status Hot
Affiliations The 6th Street FlameHead Motorcycle Club
Previous affiliations The 5th Street FlameHead Motorcycle Club
Notable aliases Johnny Blaze. Real Original
Notable relatives His African-American Half-Brother,Spawn
Notable powers Rides a motorcycle.

“They say his head's on fire, but so is mine every morning.”

~ Teddy Kennedy

“Was a jet over Hell's budget or was his soul just not worth that much?”

~ The Human Torch

Ghost Rider (real name John Scott) started out like all the other kids, until one fateful day when his head caught fire. After that, things were never the same. You see, he died, went to hell, made a deal and came back (a plotline copied by many). He now has the nickname Johnny Blaze, a kickin' rad bike, and he fights crime every day, wherever crime needs to be fought.


Ghost's career as a student through elementary and secondary school was fairly uneventful. He sang in choir, played trombone, and enjoyed two winning seasons as the starting quarterback for his football team. College would change things, though.

Upon acceptance to the Omega Omega Omega frat at Duke University, he got mixed up with the wrong crowds, particularly, Lucifer, his roommate. He started riding motorcycles, drinking beer, and worshiping the devil. After a near fatal brush with Spiderman his junior year. Ghost decided he'd had enough of "the life". So he died . Long story short, he came back as a badass with an even more severe case of flame skull.

Political career[edit]

Fighting crime physically wasn't making his dreams come true, so Ghost found a different way to make a difference: from City Hall. His first run at mayor was a total success. His reputation for being a hard-lined moderate earned him respect early on from veterans of the game. He won the mayorship 14 times and took a break from crime-fighting. He moved to a retirement community in Southern Florida for a short while.

It was during this time that he became a vocal proponent of free speech and writing, and got involved with a PBS show dubbed Ghost Writer. The show, with it's mystery solving band of minority kids, had a cult following among grade-schoolers. Scandal over the now-infamous BDSM Episode forced Ghost to turn a blind eye on his new hobby, and the kids.

Coming out of retirement, he overcame hatred and the scandal with love, acceptance, and the amazing "I Have A Woody" Speech. People loved it. The mayorship back in his hands, he managed to balance his time between public office, and private office in his club, The Flaming Heads. The club soon became the focal point of his very public life, and gained widespread support as the place that offered both BDSM, and STD treatments.

After years of public service, from fighting crime to fighting herpes to fighting the stigma of a healthy sex life, Ghost Rider had done it all. Except learn to swim or destroy a planet; he's leagues out of his depth vs. Silver Surfer.

Special abilities[edit]

  • Summon midgets. By yelling out the words "hakkala makala lakala" he can then summon as many midgets as he desires to combat evil.
  • Rides a motorcycle REAL fast.
  • Rides a motorcycle REAL slow.
  • The bike has flaming wheels.
  • Has a chain with a big thingamajig at the end of it.
  • Won the mayoral election 20 times. Legally.
  • Knows the names of everyone in the Partridge Family (It's his favorite).
  • Sculpts busts of celebrities out of scrap metal..
  • Spanking. Ghost Rider's way of punishing the bad is by spanking.
  • Horrifies people into a coma by coming onto them with the pickupline, "Look into my eyes..."

See Also[edit]