Wakanda

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“I feel bad for all these poor westerners who don't know any better, maybe we should just give them some of our cures to cancer and our algae powered hover cars? NAH!”

~ Black Panther on Wakandan schools being first in the world in science and math.

“Me-ow! Move over Batman, kitty's got a new playmate.”

~ Catwoman on Black Panther

Welcome to Wakanda! Since our great leader Prince T'chala controversially opened up the force field boarder to ignorant backwards savages like you, we've become quite the hot spot for tourism and immigration; currently the prince is busy at a summit speaking with Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Fantomah and The Phantom. Unfortunately, your doctorate in medicine doesn't qualify you to teach biology at one our high schools, although we do have a position open for janitor. Perhaps you can acquire a sports scholarship and over the next eight years retrain yourself at one of our prestigious universities, we now have several Atlantean's on the the swimming team. To be perfectly honest none of your education should transfer, but we don't really want you going back to kindergarten to learn the basic skills that every Wakandan child knows like brain surgery, cybernetic engineering, rocket science and nuclear physics, because we've seen some of the things on your internet and don't really trust you anywhere near our children, because unlike your psychological organizations, we've actually bothered to perform the studies. I know you've already learned several of these subjects already in your home country, and it probably seems like a redundant waste of eight years of your life just to satisfy a nationalistic higher education immigration policy, but we want to ensure our people get only the best of the best professionals available.

University is free, obviously, and the streets are lined with free fruits and vegetables, medicinal herbs and marijuana so powerful that it would make Bob Marley's ghost pass out. Historically our neighbors don't really like us that much because of that whole, letting slavery happen thing, when our electric rifles and magnetic deflectors would have rendered your ancestor's primitive weapons completely useless. We have nothing against other African countries though, except for Ethiopia, always bragging they're the only country in Africa to never be colonized, thinking they're so cool just because they've got the Ark of the Covenant, an army of goetic demons, and an air force of King Solomon's flying carpets; well I'd like to see Mussolini try and take our vibranium from our leader's cold, dead, razor clawed hands; but I digress...

Our great land also offers truly universal healthcare for every organism, with specialized services available to accommodate mutants, aliens and experiments of the High Evolutionary. We have been criticized by human rights organizations however for our penal system containing a disproportionate amount of rich white businessmen who came here looking to exploit our countries natural and technological resources, however I assure you the conditions of VR prison are quite humane and our rehabilitation rate is the highest on, under, or orbiting the surface of the planet.

You may have noticed that many of our scientists prefer to work naked during the warmer months of the year or dressed in animal costumes, the official dress code policy is what ever floats your slave ship; just don't wear anything manufactured in a sweatshop because that encourages crime, I know you've had problems with your clothing in the past. Ah, I see you've brought a gift as a sign of your good will consisting of a selection of early 90's hip hop and rap CDs, this will make for a great display of your people's vibrant capitalist culture to be housed in one of our museums, above from a wax dummy of the Fortune 500 company executive slowly getting brain cancer from his cellphone and across the nuclear warheads next to the dinosaur exhibit.

It will take a little bit of time to get used to our way of life, but I'm sure you will like it here Dr. Banner. Enjoy your stay!