Windows NT

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Boot up screen of Windows NT

Windows NT was first developed during the Napoleonic Wars by DuPont. It was an idea for the population of France to use a new type of system, an idea that would remain sustainable for people who he didn't like. Originally intended for use by the French, it fell into the hands of the Spanish in 1906. The technology was eventually given to a new American company called "Micro-Soft" (named after Bill Gates' thing).

Windows NT is also considered by many to be the Worst most underrated OS since the Famicom Disk System, at least in Japan.

The Operating System[edit]

Micro-Soft developed the technology needed for almost 90 years. They took what was once the most effective and brutal torture system in the known universe and turned it into a business toy. Luckily for workers, and unluckily for people who enjoy a humanity with a collective IQ lower than 1000, the release of Windows NT coincided with the Naughty Boys in the 80s and 90s. Due to exposure from birth to things such as Other versions of Windows and a Mac, Windows NT was given less care.

The great success of Windows NT came with its release in Europe in the mid 1990s. At this point, The PlayStation was a thing, and the average intelligence level of the First World had dropped to what had previously been thought to be impossible lows. As such, Windows NT's ultra high levels of stupidity were mistaken for intelligence and the operating system sold like something that sells very well. The net income of Windows NT was so high that DuPont closed their offices in 1997 due to explosions.

Windows OT[edit]

Windows OT is an object that no-one actually cares about. It was Microsoft's way to increase their dominance in the Business market. It would later be the base for later versions of Windows so technically you're using a version of Windows you're not supposed to if you're a home user. You did something naughty didn't you... unless if you're using a mac in which you did something more naughty...

or you use Linux in which, okay.

Windows NT Bitcoin Edition[edit]

After seeing the vast success that Microsoft had in marketing and selling Windows NT, Neentendo decided to fund the manufacture of an OS called Windows NT Bitcoin Edition. Not much here and was discontinued in 69 BC 300020.

Apple later claimed that the whole software/operating system was simply one giant scam.


NTzilla[edit]

In February of 1998, it came to light that Micro-Soft had been feeding software developers to the Windows NT production plant in New York when an accident involving large quantities of geek brain-matter and Godzilla destroyed it all after he came to America. It spent several months reforming its body into an oversized metal reptile before then going on a destructive rampage across New York.

NTzilla in the end was stopped by a small team of UNIX employees in coloured spandex who constructed another large robot out of driver bugs and then piloted it to fight Godzilla himself. Godzilla died that year and everyone was happy.

Following the incident, Linus Torrent discovered that their entire UNIX production system had been used up on the creation of the antilzilla and were eventually forced to only make Software. Eventually, this resulted in the creation of what the Lord Gates wanted to happen, Windows XP.

Support[edit]

Windows OT had no games. Why would there be? It's Windows NT!

And also, Windows OT is not an operating system. It might look like it is, but it was planned to be a torture device for people who hated Windows (later, the target was the 1996 failed movie Space Jam). After about 10 years or so though, it was turned into an operating system.

Yay...

What does NT stand for?[edit]

NT stands for No Technology, as it was only made out of nothing but sticks and wood. Not really a sustainable resource type for an Operating System, but, at least they did something. Microsoft's main focus up until XP was to torture Mac users and put them in limbo.

Fun Facts[edit]

The new interface for Windows NT 10.0

North Korea hates South Korea because South Korea invented the Window and Kim il-sung couldn't use Windows, only a Mac. But he was confused between a Window for the Windows OS and though that Windows is the enemy.

Did you know that Windows NT is considered as the most underrated Windows OS of all time (Which is a lie).

Windows WHY[edit]

Windows WHY is an operating system released in January 30, 2007. It was bundled with Windows Vista to give you a question of WHY. It is essentially Windows NT 4.0 but worse and with Microsoft Word WHYYYYYYY.

Windows WHY was off shelves by 2008 due to a roast by Steve Jobs that Bill Gates Has a small penis can't make anything. As the war continued, People got more confused and then Windows WHY was pulled off shelves.

Source Code[edit]

Load WinNT
Print message "Welcome to Boredom".
Initiate Windows_Files

Versions[edit]

  • Windows NT 3.1
    Release Date: 1993?
  • Windows NT 4.0
    Release Date: 1996
  • Any Windows Version from 2000 onwards
    Release Date: 2000-Present

See Also[edit]


Logo and wordmark

All your data are belong to us.


  • Detect "non-genuine" products
  • Gather user information and credit card numbers
  • Cripple core system components
  • Deploy legal team
  • Launch civil litigation


Estimated time remaining:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.



Installing Windows has never been easiereasy


All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.