Super Nintendo

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It's a Super Nintendo, bow before it.

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System (also known as the SNES or Super NES) was a video game console released by Nintendo in North America and Engrand (yeah, that's a place, look it up!) and Japan and at some point between the beginning of time and the end of time. There has been fervent chatter on the blogosphere that the Super Nintendo might be resurrected at some point after the end of civilization by post apocalyptic raiders or alien archaeologists due to it's being one of the greatest things ever created by man.

The Super Nintendo console is 6 of the 7 wonders of the world upon it's creation many years back. The console introduced remarkably advanced graphics and sound capabilities that greatly enhanced the workingman's abilities to sit down after tea and beer and KILL STUFF. The zenith of gaming controllers came about with the advent of the Super Nintendo controller with two auxiliary buttons that only so many games used and two additional action buttons that often did exactly what the other two could do. Instead of being "candy bar" shaped, these were almost infinity shaped and round.


In 1989, the SNES covered with David Bowie at The Serious Moonlight World Tour. Bowie was later promised a video game in his honor, which Shigeru Miyamoto promised would be better than "that piece of crap Michael Jackson game.

On September 29, 1998, the Super Nintendo was nearly murdered by an assassin. No one knows who the assassin was, or even whether it was an assassin at all. Let us tell you now it absolutely was not an assassin. But who ever the assassin wasn't, the Super Nintendo was nearly dead and the Nintendo 64 was about to conquer half the known world, until a failed invasion of Playstation during the harsh winter. Super Nintendo had a living will stating that life support be removed when the Nintendo 64 was able to carry the company on her own. With Nintendo's blessing the 64 was pushed to the full forefront and the Super Nintendo lingered on for 3 days before finally dying on October 2, 1998. Her deceased highness currently lies interred in a spectacular sepulchre in her home city of Tokyo, Japan, guarded by Ninjas and protected by ancient Mario curses against the marauding Playstation barbarian hordes.


The Super Nintendo, despite its nefarious past, is a really terrific video game system if you just get to know it. Although at first people are put off by it's awful fashion sense, many come to realize that it's all everybody needs in a video game system. Males dating the system were put off at first by the lack of "door" on the front of the system like it's mother had, it won't stand you up or cheat on you with Segas.

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