Quentin Tarantino's Kill Pooh: Volumes 1 and 2
“An unappreciated classic in the gore and animation field!”
“One of my more kid-friendly works.”
Quentin Tarantino's Kill Pooh: Volumes One and Two are among director Quentin Tarantino's least known works, and his only movie with Walt Disney. Featuring a star-studded cast of Lucy Liu, Steve Buscemi, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, and John Travolta, the movie was similar in casting to many of Tarantino's other films. Interestingly, unlike most semi-animated movies, Kill Pooh was filmed with fully real settings and animated characters, instead of the other way around.
Volume 1[edit]
Plot[edit]
Volume 1 opens with Liu awaking from a coma to find the remains of Christopher Robin spread on the floor around her. She knows who did it: The Ninjas of Pooh Corner. She was previously a member of this band of skilled assassins, which includes: Piglet (Steve Buscemi), Eeyore (Samuel L. Jackson), Tigger (Bruce Willis), and the leader, Winnie (John Travolta), who killed Christopher Robin.
Liu, eager for gruesome revenge, decides that she should violently kill each of the assassins as gruesomely as she can. In classic Tarantino style, the plot dissolves into a long string of violent sequences, until, for reasons unknown, John Candy and Vin Diesel appear. Candy promptly eats Diesel and leaves.
Finally, Liu kills one of the assassins, Piglet, using a baseball bat and a belt. On that cheery note, Volume 1 ends.
Filming[edit]
Volume 1 went stunningly well production-wise, with only one delay, which was one of the more interesting areas of the cinematography. Tarantino was uncertain about how Piglet should have been killed. He promptly called in the Coen Brothers, well known masters in killing Steve Buscemi. After rubbing beards and watching movie clips, they informed Tarantino that a baseball bat and a belt would make for the longest and most gory sequence.
Volume 2[edit]
Plot[edit]
The murder of Piglet has clearly inspired Liu, thus she goes into total rampage mode. Tigger is beheaded using a broom in a gory but fascinating hour-long sequence. At this point, Eeyore and Winnie are prepared to be attacked. Liu goes after Eeyore in what would have been one of the great fights of all time, except that Eeyore is a donkey. He is shanked repeatedly with a rusty butter knife until his liver spills out.
After chasing Winnie for an hour, Liu finally catchs up with him. Sadly, this epic fight is never seen, due to the anticlimatic return of John Candy, who breaks the camera by sitting on it and ending the series. Kind of.
Filming[edit]
This movie was the harder to film, as Disney balked at the heavy violence. Fortunately, a compromised was reached when Tarantino threatened a CEO representative with an AK-47. Tarantino was reportedly unhappy with Candy killing the camera, and let him know. Candy, always the gentle Canadian, quietly told Tarantino to go zuck himself.
Distribution[edit]
The movies was set to be realeased to DVD on Thanksgiving, but, only two minutes before a press conference announcing the release, Disney got cold feet. Tarantino was forced to take his film to the other major studios, not after paying an exorbitant price to sell the movie. This only solidified Disney's reputation as a miserly operation.
No other studio wanted the movie. Desperate, Tarantino turned to his last option: 21st Century Fox Bargain Classics DVD series. They took it, and immediately distributed it to Price Chopper Supermarkets. At long last, the saga of Kill Pooh finally found an audience in tightwads, perverts, and the impoverished shoppers of Price Chopper. The movie was "found" by guru Leonard Maltin, and immediately became a trendy item amongst indie fans.
Action and adventure films