Playstation 2
Playstation 2 (Japanese: ゲイステーション2 English: The God of Gaming System). likes to take big long dumps on people's tv's and users are tempted to turn into homosexuals. it was only gaming system to outsell the others in the gaming console industry. It has reappeared a few years ago in its slimmer form, most likely because it went on a diet. This whole paragraph is incorrect, as PlayStation2 pwns (cuz KIngdom HEarts is out for it) and the PS3 and XBox 360 will rape you in ur sleep.
The Birth of the PS2[edit]
The first Playstation 2 was hatched from an egg conceived by Mecha Playzilla (following its rape of a DVD-player production line), and was raised in the ways of evil and brain-consumption by Ken Kutaragi. The result was that the Playstation 2 became a very resentful and malicious console, only barely pacified by allowing it to stand upright, rather than horizontal with things piled on top of it.
Records show that the North American release of the Playstation 2 was accompanied with 5,000 games that hit store shelves. (The Japanese release was almost double that with 9001). About 65% of these were Japanese RPG’s, 30% were Mecha games, while another 4% were platformers and survival horror games. The first model of the console was very husky; occasionally it would decide to eat the discs you put inside it and blink its LED light if it wanted more. With the birth came an infinite wave of brand new games that would last centuries.
The on button[edit]
The on button is probably the most complex feature in the PlayStation 2, best approached is just press it, your not born yesterday, and the PlayStation2 hasn't raped me yet, so JUST PRESS THE F@@@@@ BUTTON!!!!!
It can do two things:
- TURN IT ON
- TURN IT OFF
In order to turn the Playstation 2 On you must first flip the switch at the back of the console (Or press the button on the front (PS2 Slim). The next step is to push a button on the front of the console. Warning! Do not be alarmed by the next step or else you might be facing death. Put in Kingdom Hearts 2, or else Axel will put his chakram at your throat.
Be careful! Axel will burn you if you don't do it correctly. Also, the on button isn't gonna rape you, it's your friend. Because it likes mudkipz. So, NYA, whaddya waiting for? Play KH2!
Things a PS2 is good for[edit]
- Buy 1000 PS2's and sell them on ebay to buy a PS3, only to know that you already have a paperweight you don't need a $600 one
Playstation 2 consoles, according to media hype at time of launch:
- Will produce graphics indistinguishable from movies. DVD media causes low loading times and fast read speeds.
- Has so much processing power, you'll never have slowdown or frame-skip unless the CPU is not routinly changed due to the wear of so many bits running thought the pipes.
- Sony reliability, inexpensive for the value.
How to start a game on the PS2[edit]
- Put in disk
- Grab controller
- ???
- PROFIT
Best for playing Kingdom Hearts, KH2, or KH RE:CoM
War Begins[edit]
With the arrival of Microsoft into the videogame industry after their ill-planned attempt to purchase Nintendo, a full-scale war began to develop between major developers.
The ensuing struggle sees the release of the masterpieces Halo and Halo 2, but also finalises the shift in the video-game triumvirate from Nintendo, Sega, and Sony, to Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft. Sega are still crying about this, but they sacrificed themselves to stop the rampage of Mecha Playzilla, which is some consolation.
Ultimately, the conflict between these three gaming companies is really a metaphor for human existence. Director Ang Lee has said that he did not so much wish to make a video-game movie, but rather Sense and Sensibility that had video games in it. He probably failed in this regard, but the way that Sony copes with its struggles is an inspiration to all of us. And really, is not Nintendo the true hero (after Sega, who sacrificed themselves for our sins)? When giant multi-nationals attempt to push in on Nintendo's market, he fights back for the hearts and hive mind of a bunch of anti-social dorks that only kids from the nasty part of the inner city could really understand. But aren't we all really just a bunch of kids from the nasty part of the inner city?
Hidden Meanings[edit]
If you reverse the first 2 letters of the words Sony Playstation you get Pony Slaystation. Obviously an evil ploy by the sony corporation to force us to slay ponies, possibly by utilising the enormity and immense weight of their new playstation 3 to crush the skulls of said ponies. Sources believe that the facination with the unruly slaughter of innocent creatures started with an owie in pre-school. People are urged not to buy the horrible slaying stations and for safe keeping the RSPCA has recalled hundreds of these devices for hundreds of tests, probably testing on Human Nature.
The Participation in the Next-Gen Console War[edit]
The PS2 has grown completely impatient seeing its brother, the Xbox 360 and Wii. It now takes drastic measures into participating the Next-Gen Console Wars. Proving to the Wii that the PS2 has truckloads of sales, the three seventh-gen consoles laughed at it because the PS2 was forbidden to participate in it. However, many fans proclaimed to let the PS2 be in it. Now, the PS2 is currently dead last, while its brother, PS3, gained a upper hand and jumped into first. But in Japan, a different fate has fallen apon this wonder.
In order to compete with the market and increase sales Sony thought up of a great scheme. Noticing the graphics that the Wii has, resembling that of the olden days where Dreamcast and Nintendo 64 were gods, it was easy to convince companies who are stuck in the 90s to port the Wii games they released for the Playstation 2. Poor families continued to feed Sony the extra money they needed while having fun with the same games that they can’t afford from the Wii.
Best games to play[edit]
- Kingdom Hearts
- Kingdom Hearts II
- Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories
- Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater?!
- Gran Turismo 4
See also[edit]
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