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“I'll take half!”

~ Greedy Ex-Wife on During the Divorce Settlement

“I'll take the penis!”

~ Oscar Wilde

The Ex-wife is an old operating system that many men owned in the 1980s. Eventually as new operating systems such as Wife OS were released, the Ex-Wife OS became boring and was separated from the man in a procedure called divorce. Today Ex-wife can be seen whoring itself out to all men who will have sexual relations with it.

The Ex-wife OS, indeed the newer Wife OS, were known to be quite expensive to purchase and maintain. In addition, both operating systems were prone to being resistant when intended for use. Men who used the OS's are very familiar with the blue screen of death, otherwise known as a headache crash. Occasionally this could be solved by pressing I+Love+You. But if they encountered a headache, giving up was the most likely the course of action.

Many men, who grew tired of the many variants of Wife OS including Wife XP Whore Edition, simply switched to the open source operating system known as Asian Brideux (ABridux for short). ABridux is a much cheaper OS, and experiences headaches much less often. ABridux is actually programed to strive to please the male users.

{One of the problems with Ex-wife OS was that it turned your hardware green with NV in the presence of a "better packaged" newer OS.,and that spoiled the decor of the computer room. Well known colorologist Red Buttons commented when he was alive that a mixture of red [mars the god of war]and yellow [cowardice] actually caused the greening of women,and not David Attenborough as was previously hypothesized. }

A recent study has looked deeper into the phenomenon of Ex-wife. It was featured in the movie "Pilates of Silicon Breasts". The study examined the correlation of the decline of the Western Civilization and the feminizing of America.

When the study was released, the general consensus was that the world would be a better place without Ex-wife OS, in fact most men stated they would rather do it "the old fashioned way, by hand" than deal with the issues, headaches, and stupidity of the OS.

Ex-wife OS can be found in most retail outlets that are intended for the female population under the age of 20. The OS works best with 'plug-ins' and new 'skins'. The human interface options for the Ex-wife OS are limited, it really only understands the programing language "BITCH". Getting the OS to perform as desired is very difficult, it only does what it wants when it wants. The old adage of "an OS is only as smart as the operator" takes a whole new meaning.