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A gynecolorist is a professionally qualified Veterinarian for the axe wounds that grow between a female's thighs. The word refers to those who practice the profession inspired by Star Trek to boldly go where no man had ever gone before. The first gynecologist propped up his first guinea pig, a Mrs Smith of Nebraska, Ohio after she had complained for weeks about an itchy vagina. He told her he had no experience in the area, but if she would be so kind as to pop the hood then lay back and think of England, he would take a look at it. He discovered she had a bee inside her warpzone to tuna-town, and pried it out for her.

It's a Cunt of a Job, But Someone's Gotta Do it[edit]

Typical line of men queuing up to apply for the study of gynecology

Today there are over 1,000,000 gynikol... split-lettuce checkers around the world. It is a field mostly reserved for male practitioners, however a few donut bumpers do sometimes take up the practice and don't mind having a woman in once or twice a week to clean for them.

These people go through 7 years of medical training including 3 years specialising in the field of Guyneck... Snatch Sanitizing. Believe you me, by the time they see you as a patient, they are fully versed in the art of keeping a patient's mind at ease and their gateway to the guts completely free of bees.

Bees find their way inside womens' vaginas with surprising ease, and that's when the professional touch of these people that we admit we can't spell is most necessary. Anyway, if the bee is not removed from a woman's vagisi cooter, it can become infected and she may become republican.

Honey bee flying md wht.gif
The Aftermath of Paris Hiltons last Gyno exam
Do not trust this man, he isn't a doctor! He is a podiatrist and is allergic to bees.

Gynecology 101[edit]

Finding yourself a suitable gynecologist will come down to personal preference, but the things you should look out for are:

  • Trust, if you don't trust your doctor to sniff around your 'hive' for bees, then even routine check-ups may make you rather uncomfortable.
  • Warm Hands is a must. There is nothing more off-putting about one of these visits than your pervert having cold hands, since he is working on your vaginal area. Cold hands mean cold fingers, and thus cold touch and cold stiff vagina which makes it unpleasant when they reach into the fish canyon with the jaws-of-life to clamp the clam open and go digging around in search of treasure.
  • Non-Rusty ice-cream scoops. This one goes without much need to explain. You wouldn't eat an ice-cream if it was served to you with specks of rust on it would you? No, so think about who will be eating you out after your checkup. No one likes a rusted gate.
  • Also be sure to check that the the clinic isn't located in a back alley with a cardboard sign indicating the doctor is "in". Many homeless bums around the world pretend to be certified doctors in the field of Gynecology, just so they can scam a free meal out of you.
  • And last but not least, and the most important thing to look out for. Make sure they are certified bee-catchers. There is nothing worse then having a doctor who is not experienced in the area they are servicing. I had a friend once who went for a checkup, but the doctor was a proctologist, and we all know they do not look for bees, they are only trained to look for gerbils.


Now that you have discovered the wonderful world of being a cunt doctor, we are certain you men will have found all the information you needed to know on the subject, and that you will need to be a professional bee catcher to take up this profession.