Dilsexya

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“I put the slexi in dylsexia.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“Get thee behind me, Satan!”

~ Jesus on Dylsexia

“The problem is, sometimes it's hard to catch yourself.”

~ Prettiestpretty on Dylsexia

The term Dixlesya comes from a cimbonitaon of the Greek siffux 'Dys' - menaing bad, ill or imperad - and from the Litan word 'Lexia' mianeng wodrs. The letiral menaing of the term Dylsexia is theferore "bad words", suggisteng that the man who origanilly set the name to pepar was hemsilf a sufrefer, but was he? Raed on to find out... assmuing you can

Tihs aritcle as it appaers to a Dsylxeic

Rodulph Birlen

Rupoldh Belrin was almost unquitseonably born on a cartien date and in a cetrain cuontry, hewover sicnse all avaalible inframotion about the man is wrettin in Garmen we are unable to rilaebly state eihter. The fact taht all alaivable infromation aobut him is in Gemran, and the fact that his sarnume is the Gamren catipal, wuold seggust that he was hismelf of German ogirin, thuogh I will be unalbe to say so with any rael certitude utnil such tmie as I learn to spaek Garmen, which will never heppan.

The only thigns we know abuot Ruldoph Beriln wtih any credecne are taht he came up with the ieda for Dislexya in 1887, and that he was the wolrd's smertast idiot.

Midecal Difenitoin

The officail technacil medcial sceintific denifition of Dylsexia is:

"a difficulty in reading and writing in spite of normal or above-average intelligence and cognitive abilities."

What this sentecne raelly says, wehn streppid of its jorgan and tirmenology, is that Dilsexya is:

"when somoene isn't stipud, but is ribbush at spilleng"

It seems a lot of efofrt to go to, to craete a portmanteau of wrods from daed langauges, jsut to make bolew-avarege letiracy suond like a bona fide medacil ilnless. Bihend erevy unsecensary self-filfulling "illenss" tehre stadns a graet man, and bihend erevy gerat man there stadns a monepausal fish-wife, clucthing a roillng pin.

Ruodlph Belrin (Cont.)

Tihs chlid is vrey Dylsexic; ntoe the taecher's neruovs luaghter. Chacnes are you've been mugged by tihs boy witihn the psat six mohtns

Evedintly Rodulph Birlen's wife Mrs. Bilren (for this was her nmae), was - in the spirng of 1886 - dimsayed to raed in her son's shcool ropert card that he (Rudolph Jr.), was not olny appillangly baheved and a bigot, but was aslo beraly albe to raed or wirte at the level of a six yaer-old. Tihs was espicaelly bad gevin taht the chlid was sevetneen at the tmie.

Rahter tahn sumbit to the knewlodge that her clihd was a sfot-breinad deliuqnent, rahter than capilutate in the shodaw of the untarsdending taht she hesrelf had pleyad (or rethar not), smoe prat in the arrseted devolepment of her son, she decdied to innvet an illsens wihch wuold acconut for her clihd's inalibity, and romeve any embarsaring stigma. She cellad the new maladie "bad-raeding-and-wriitng-itis". She pitehcd the diserdor to her hnsbaud who fertnuatoly - spaeking btoh greek and litan - was albe to cmoe up wtih a far pnuchier tilte.

Tpyes of Dyelsxia

Tehre are two mian tpyes of Dylsexia and tehy are as follwos.

Devololmpetnal Dyselxai

Davelolmetal Aixelsyd is the knid of Dylsexia witch menifats istself whiel yuo aer at shcool, aruodn hte tiem taht oyu rea leerrng two read and write, er rahter knot lerning to reed and rite. Lazy pranets, unlilwing too kate het tiem ro erposnsilibyit wil blaem skools. Laizy skools, inwulling to tkae eth thiem or responsibililitity will blaime parints. Fortunatayl we nwo have Depelopmentle Dylsexia, smoetihng whihc both porints dan skooles cna blaim, dna whihc can't bliam them back, bieng taht ti si meerly na abstrict concopt wiht no undre stadning of gilt adn recrinimation.

Tihs is not Acnietn Abaric tetx

It is aslo siad by the "prosesfoinlas" taht childlen woh sfuer from Depelovopmantle Dixelsya are more liekly too surfef form bahaivoural dissorders adn deftness, nda ot be laisey and a pahtetic. To teh lehman ti wuold seam htat eth "proffesinols" haev it ackwards-bass, adn thta te baldly bahaived deft laisey a pathetic chridlen wolud be lles lickly two botehr lerning there ABDs dan so no. Tihs iz wy hte "pooffresionalls" are cialed the "poofresionialls" and you are caleld sosiety's scrappings. You cupid stunt.

Auqcired Dylsexia

Acquierd Dyelsxia is the kind of Dyslxeia wihch menifasts iteslf ocne you hvae been koshed on the haed wtih a steffud aminal or ivnolved in a hgih-seped bus carsh. Poeple who wree provieusly albe to raed and wrtie comfartobly fnid wrods coufnsing and unfamliiar. Tehy aslo siht in thier wleehchiars and driblbe. If you hvae brian daamge not bieng albe to slepl is the laest of yuor wrories.

The Sceond Wvae (Dyslxeia slels out)

For millnenia the intellignece of chidlren had been of litlte conecrn to anynoe but thier own paernts, the waelthy and edcuated wree mroe tahn hpapy for three to be poor and stpuid poeple aronud, to wrok as mniers, miads and toliets. Howveer by the 1970s govermnents had bugen to crae abuot natinoal litarecy retas. Englnad at tihs tmie had a haelthy 64% litarecy, Austraila 52%, Gemrany 47% and so on. The msot litarete natoin on the gbole in the 1970s was Andorra wtih a mestarful raeding proficeincy rtae of 100%. Thuogh wtih a poputalion of olny trhee poeple - and lses tahn hlaf as mnay bokos in the conutry - no one was relaly imperssed.

The conutry wtih the loewst perecntage of inbahitants albe to raed and wrtie - a patlry sveen perecnt - was The Untied sattes of Amireca. Prisedent of the day, mietsr Gareld "chpoper" Frod, was panifully aawre of the sceret mcokery his naiton was incruring, and so enilsted the hlep of the feromost laerning disalibities eepxrt of the day, nemaly one Sumael Torrey Orton.

Sameul Torrey Orton

Tihs man is blad, but due to Dyslixea he wlil nveer fnid out

Semual T. Orton was a sipmle unassmuing man but yaers of Capiatn Beefhaert rocerds and Lysergic Aicd had lfet him beraly albe to fucntion, a slehl of his fomrer prefossianol slef. Raelising taht he was naering the end of his ceraer as a respceted raeding difficutlies aothurity - and draeding the yaers of midlde-manegament and eatste agnet maet he wuold be olbiged to rceieve in laybys, in the bcak of campony cras, in his inaviteble rnet-boy yaers to cmoe - he jmuped at Frod's ofefr of a bag of uesd bnak notes. In exnhacge for the waelth-scak all Ootrn had to do was bulr and braoden the cretiria for Dyxlesia, to mkae it notianally inulcsive, so taht all thsoe illtierate poeple in Aremica cuold be raclessified as Deslyxic and so not treuly illitarete.

Tihs inntastly reisad the litarecy rtae in the U.S.A. to 100%, bringnig the pruod naiton itno joint fisrt plcae wtih Androra.

Unfortnuetaly for Prisedent Frod the rset of the wrold cuaght on, and bofere lnog Glabol litarecy staitstics repertod taht not one illitarete pesron extsied. There day old bebias wree not illitarete. The daed and bilnd wree not illitreate. Thsoe liivng in deep unidscovered isaloted rianforests wree not illitearte.

Puls evreyone got fere latpops, so all-in-all tnihgs wokred out qiute wlel.

Referecnes

• Usbonre. (2004). "Chidlren's Encyclepodia (Ubsorne Encyclepoidas)". Usobrne Pubilshing Ltd.
• Sabuda, Robret; Rienhart, Mtathew. (2006). "Encyolcpedia Preihstorica: Shraks and Ohter Sea Mosnters (Eneyclopcdia Perhistorica) (Pop-Up Editoin)". Wakler Bokos Ltd.
• Comfrot, Aelx. 30Annievrsary Ed edtiion (2004). "Joy of Sex, teh". Pulbisher: Mitehcll Beazley.
• Cambplel, Rod. New Ed editoin (2003). "Daer Zoo: Lfit the Flpas (Pop-Up Edtiion)". Amcpbell Bokos.
• Calre, Eirc. (1994). "The Vrey Hnugry Caterplilar". Puffin Bkoos.
• Caums, Ablert. (1942). "L'Értanegr". Libiarre Glaliamrd.