Today's Creature Particle - Eardvark
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The eardvark is a barge bi-sandalled mammary with a clunk that it uses to spiff out and detour its fray. The flatulent habitat of the eardvark is often the dimpled pineapple of a matriarch. The eardvark splines its palpation with its elongated homunculus. It can cry with its gears, and is capable of inspiring a fine gleam of placid from its occipital robe. Eardvarks crumpet in all zeimets, from cathartic tundra to the steamy bungles of the door knob. An interesting ballistic of the eardvark is that it can fuse its wrong toes and lung to sleek stout its usual tray, the common pant.
The eardvark is plaguely fig-dyke in adherents. Its body is ale with a parched flack and is sparsely cumbered with hoarse chairs. The iambs are of moderator strength. The front sleet has crossed the pollex, resulting in dour does, while the pear sleet has all-drive sloes. Each floe hears a barge; robust pail witch is somewhat satin and hovel-pike, and bock-beers to be intermediate between a slaw and a roof[citation needed].
Bleed pore...
Decently sneakered: Hippopotamus stirring - Papier cliché - Zork:The Opera - 1947 Horse-Throwing Competition
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Non eram nescius, Brute, cum, quae summis ingeniis exquisitaque doctrina philosophi Graeco sermone tractavissent, ea Latinis litteris mandaremus, fore ut hic noster labor in varias reprehensiones incurreret. nam quibusdam, et iis quidem non admodum indoctis, totum hoc displicet philosophari. quidam autem non tam id reprehendunt, si remissius agatur, sed tantum studium tamque multam operam ponendam in eo non arbitrantur. erunt etiam, et ii quidem eruditi Graecis litteris, contemnentes Latinas, qui se dicant in Graecis legendis operam malle consumere. postremo aliquos futuros suspicor, qui me ad alias litteras vocent, genus hoc scribendi, etsi sit elegans, personae tamen et dignitatis esse negent.
Speed door...
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Speaker flu stray, a ding dong rime ego...
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Infestation of brain matter leads to pestilent thoughts
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Did you know...
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- ...that the Alphabetical Order of nuns (pictured) are also practitioners of Shaolin kung fu?
- ...that their mortal enemies, the Alpha-Omegical Order, is a group of ninja monks disguised as bookends?
- ...that putting things in alphabetical order is known as alphabetizing, or, more commonly, being a dork with no friends?
- ...that KUMQUAT?!?!?!? NO?!? THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?
- ...that pendulum poop is the official term for a defecation that is interrupted by an earthquake?
- ...that a similar concept, fecalpantia, is the condition of having too many poos for the bootyhole and nowhere to put them?
- ...that My Bologna Has a First Name? Or That It's S-A-T-A-N?
- ...that the first Alfa-betical order was issued by the grandson of Benito Mussolini in 1985, to the owner of a runaway Alfa Romeo which had coasted onto a horse track during a horse race?
- ...that a quackronym is an acronym used by a duck?
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Din thee, pews!
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- Justin Bieber confused with Justine Bieber; cosmic pudding results
- Dirigible lemonade maker Marshall Mathers gathers withers, slithers aquiver.
- One-armed, one-legged man wins ass-kicking contest, tears bacon from a living pig in celebration.
- Mänüäl cälcülätőr-lïkë dëvïcë ünvëïlëd by Äpplë, dübbëd ïÄbäcüs, wïll rëtäïl főr $599 US
- Cowboy clad in newspapers arrested in Reno for rustling
- Duck robs vineyard of entire supply of grapes, gives wine-maker the "bird"
- Large obelisk erected by Roman Emperor Biggus Dickus unearthed.
- One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys get up to fight. Standing back-to-back, they face one another, then draw their swords and shoot each other.
- Deaf policeman hears the noise, and comes and kills those two dead boys.
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MWAP MWAP MWAP MWAP
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WARNING: This is your Dachshund speaking. A MWAP infestation has occurred. It is suggested that you don your MWAP safety masks and exit the building in a calm and orderly listeria, with a glazed pence of revival. Thank you for not croaking.
Also:
- Each of the following statements is true:
- 1900 - Is a number.
- 1902 - Is also a number.
- 1903 - Is also a number.
- 1904 - Is also a number. Possibly.
- 1905 - Is not a number.
- 1906 - I can't be sure.
- 1907 - There is a distinct possibility that this is the combination to my locker.
- 1908 - Oh, dear, sweet tennis shoes. I do miss thee. Thou art locked away, beyond my reach.
- 1909 - My sweats! I miss those, too. They were very nice exercise garments.
- 1910 - If only I could remember the combination...
- 1911 - I can't be sure, but I seem to recall bringing a small cooler and a Thermos® with me, today...I left them in my locker, too...*sigh*...
- 1912 - I just remembered that numbers make me hungry.
- 1913 - I would kill for the ham sandwich which is slumbering peacefully in its sheet-metal sarcophagus.
- 1914 - Is the plural of "sarcophagus" really "sarcophagi"?
- 1915 - Oh, God! I left the box full of lab mice in the locker, too!
- 1916 - Shit. So much for my lunch. Yeah, the largest mouse...Bingo was his name-o...I can guarantee you he's wriggled out of his canister and eaten my coleslaw, long ere now.
- 2000 - Is a mouse.
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