Falcon Fury
“Because he's on FIRE!”
Falcon Fury is the son of Blue Falcon and the Gen Z Batman. He was created by Warner Bros Animation because they needed a "hashtag RELATABLE" character for their 2020 flop SCOOB!, AND because they needed an arch-enemy for Future Sara that was actually organic life (and didn't try to "rEfOrM" her.)
History[edit]
Falcon Fury was born as Brian Crowne on December 31st, 1999 (the Mil-Looney-Um) to Radley Crowne (the Blue Falcon) and Rhea Durham. Shortly after Brian's birth, the couple were visited by a drop of hot sauce with a human face, who harnessed the powers of naughtiness and made a deal with Rhea Durham that Brian would be kept from getting burned if she sold her soul to him. Rhea obliged, and she turned up missing on the news that night.
By the time Brian was 18, his other parent had died and he had to raise himself. He spent this time watching The Tonight Show clips on YouTube and jerking off to Emma Stone. One day, he found a video of Yogi Bear dabbing at a campground full of children after being told his moves "were cool maybe, like, 20 years ago." Blue Falcon, inspired by this video, sought to base his image entirely round outdated memes. Little did he know this Yogi Bear mascot excursion was planned by Future Sara to try and destroy all organic life, because she's an AI and she's female so she has to be evil.
In 2020, Brian (alias Falcon Fury) recorded a video of him lip-syncing to DJ Khaled, a la Emma Stone, and dabbing on the haters that he publicly released on his TikTok page in May. This video was so fire that Emma Stone DM'd him and asked to marry him. The two got married in a Disney Fairytale Wedding and went to the Bahamas on their honeymoon, because it's better in the Bahamas.
In 2021, Future Sara discovered Brian's video and decided to set her sights on destroying him because he is organic life (and a man.) Future Sara arrived at Brian's house and broke all the windows, then claimed she was "the best thing Toonami has done in recent memory because Swayzak is horrible and VeiledHat is such an idiot for liking him." Falcon Fury knocked her out with his super bussin' Falcon Punch, that had enough force to send her back to space. Falcon Fury then dedicated his life to fighting crime and the forces of evil female AIs, with the Jetsons' cat as his animal sidekick.
Trivia[edit]
- Falcon Fury is not to be confused with Falcon's Fury, the ride at Busch Gardens Tampa, though Brian does like the ride that drops you to the floor (Shakira), because he's a fan of Shakira.
- Falcon Fury was the only good part of SCOOB!, and David Zaslav won't return his calls asking why they cancelled the sequel (and the CW Powerpuff Girls reboot, which had buzzwords Brian uses in his everyday life.)
- Just like every other Blue Falcon bearer, Falcon Fury has gotten body lice before, and it made every teenage girl watching sexually confused.
- Falcon Fury's playground pals are the Stock Dinosaurs from The Flintstones, especially the one that's used as stairs.
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