Benjamin Harrison
| Mr Dull, Benjamin Harrison |
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|---|---|
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| Political career | |
| Order | 23rd President |
| Vice President | Levi P. Morton |
| Term of office | March 4, 1889–March 4, 1893 |
| Preceded by | Grover Cleveland |
| Succeeded by | Grover Cleveland |
| Political party | Originally Whig Party, later Republican |
| Personal details | |
| Nationality | American |
| Date of birth | August 20 1833, 1833, Dead March 13 1901. |
| Place of birth | North Bend, Ohio |
| Date of death | 1901 |
| Place of death | N/A |
| First Lady | Caroline Scott |
Benjamin 'B-Sizzle' Harrison (August 20, 1833 - March 13, 1901) was the 23th President of the United States. However, he doesn't even hold that distinction, because he supposedly died in office, and was replaced by a double.
Harrison was the grandson of President William Henry Harrison who lasted in office for one month back in 1841. By then end of Ben Harrison's presidency they wished his had ended prematurely like his grandpappy's.
This presidency is also called the 'sandwich administration' as he was preceded and succeeded by that of Grover Cleveland. Ben Harrison had started political life as a Whig but then joined the Republican Party as he couldn't whistle 'Dixie' in tune.
Presidency[edit]
Benjamin is described as America's crazy president, having had parties, dated twelve high school girls, and drinking an entire bottle of wine in under 12 seconds. He never got anything done, which was fine, as nothing really happened.
Involvement in the Steel Ball Run Race[edit]
In 1890, Harrison began going by the name Funny Valentine, along with wearing all pink and dying his hair blonde. During this brief period, he became infatuated with the rotting corpse of Jesus Christ, which due to campaign convenience had been scattered across the United States. In line with Harrison's reputation for doing nothing by himself, he set up the Steel Ball Run race as a ploy to get other people to retrieve the corpse's body parts for him.
Accomplishments[edit]
Harrison is credited with supporting tariffs against the cheap skate Europeans and ghastly Canadians. He was also in favour of voting rights which would today make him a left winger in the Democrat Party, even though Ben's political affiliation (affliction?) was with the Republicans.
Death[edit]
Harrison invited Dick Cheney over for a fun hunting trip, where Cheney accidentally mistook Harrison for a bear and shot him. This killed Harrison, and that's why Harrison served only one year.
