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Avast, cur!

“Arrr! I nay support the expression of Arr within society! Be ye a member! BE YE! ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Arrr'ing

Arrr, the new age response to many the question. Such as "Do I look fat in these pants?", or "What's the first letter of the word wrong?" "Give me your lunch money!" and in Family Feud "The incorrect response if your girlfriend asks 'are you ever going to propose to me?'". Usually connected with the old and new pirates Arr is a dying expression that some people have argued, especially those from The Psycho Friends Network who believe in the right of piracy and "Arr"acy, should be brought back into today's language.

Psycho Friends Network and Piracy[edit]

Long ago when Oscar Wilde wasn't heading The Psycho Friends Network the world was free to to express themselves in all sorts of four letter descriptions of curled language. There are those who claim weee and yaaay in cries of joy, and other who are often of the brrr and eep type. Unknowingly we have gone throughout history expression our emotions through 'arr'ness, but once the laws of The Psycho Friends Network came into play the accessibility of simply spilling ones guts had become illegal, unless you became a member of the Network. This was excruciatingly difficult, as their hazing process consisted of several chickens, a cow prod and a kilo of sugar. The term Arr was then not to be used for the first six months in a brainwashing process called "cowardice". Until the Governator took over the new presidential position many people had been hunted and cow prodded in protest for having used 'arrr' and not being a member.

Arnold Schwarzenwhatever created new laws in the Network and it came to pass that anyone who muttered, or yelled, the words "arrr" automatically became a member of The Psycho Friends Network.There was still the hazing process involved, though it was quick and frightening, usually leaving life scars in ones soul until death, and possibly even after.

Every Day Usage of Arrr[edit]

Arr can be used every day in quite normal, natural circumstances. Suggested more for those who easily and effortlessly release their anger even the more timid of people can mutter an 'arrr' in times of confusion. Do not, at any stage, confuse this with muttering 'ooooh', for the consequences of that have come to be catastrophic.

In 1927 when the world was new and round Oscar Wilde was reported to have come into a fight with one of his drinking fiends in a bar. He was challenged over the bar, and asked if defeat and submission was inevitable for himself to which he did, indeed, reply "Arrr". His fiend mistook this to be hearing the softer expression of ooooh and three days later Oscar Wilde committed himself to writing slash flash fiction and claiming that hetrosexuality was a "simple misconception and should be eaten at all family restaraunts, along with a nice side of salad. Preferably ceasar. Arrr." His own process of self hazing back into society consisted of a cow prod, and several buckets of cheese.

In this instance Oscar Wilde had been turned from Hetro to Homo in a matter of days simply because of a miscommunication error. In turn he had produced mass amounts of gay erotica literature (which has never been recovered) and so the expression of "Arrr" has always been conveyed as a lightly used term. And though experiments were conducted in the mid 1990s more proof is needed as to the extent of how bad the consequences can get.

Although more complex versions of the word have found their place in the modern and pre-post-maybe-but-you-say-it-before-I-do-just-in-case-It-isn’t-cool-because-you’re-not-trying-to-score-a-date-with-the-captain-of-the-team Lexicon, such as: Yarrrn (as in “a ball of”), Yarrrrrrd (as in “the longest”) and Naarrrr (as in Johnny Depp’s response to any question involving his eyeliner the film “The curse of the black pearl”) most still find that nothing compares (or fits so neatly with “…Me mateys”) to the original. In it’s simplest form, the term ‘Arrr’ has the distinct privilege of being the only word now spoken by such intellectual greats as Physicist Stephen Hawking, and Legendary biscuit Pirate -Keanu Reeves as well as being one of the top five guttural noises overheard coming out of the men’s room at the annual Academy pre-awards chilli cook-off, though the latter is believed to have little to do with piracy.

Arrr currently (and eternally) resides in Hope Springs Vir. With his wife and 18 children we can’t be arsed to name.

Mr Reeves

Experiments of Arrr[edit]

A total of three experiments were conducted both inside and outside The Psycho Friends Network.

  • The first took place on a pirate ship in the new islands of the world, where three men on a cruise boat took the opportunity (and the money) to show the world what the meaning of 'Arrr' is to them. Their expressiveness through the week (totally five days, as their weekends dissolve into one day of binge drinking and whoring on the corners of cities) was remarkable. Each person they plundered and threatened were all reported to have gone into deep shock and given over all their belongings. Whether this was due to their extreme talent at "Arrr"ing or their machetes it is not yet known.
  • The second experiment was conducted in a country bumpkin kindergarten where the children had all been brought up on pigs and dirt, and could not state "Arrr" without it sounding like "Ya'll". The only thing this proved was that piracy was not for kids, and neither was English.
  • Finally, in 2035, about the time Emperor Schwarzenegger's encased head finally achieved sentiency and turned his robot armies against Manhattan (later destroyed by Admiral Will Smith). Sput -the Dog first launched into space by the russians, finally re-entered the atmosphere. Upon landing the locals (having never seen such an animal, attempted to communicate with the wayward canine through a series of clicks and beeps native to their home planet (plukesi IV) -to which the now long-since deceased animal failed to reply. Amazed at such wantonly callous disregard for common courtesy, the Plukesi attempted to rename their widely used word for "Etiquette" with the only decipherable Plukesi words embossed on the doomed russian ship: "Made" -Plukesian for "A", "In" -plukesian for "r" and "Canada" -Plukesian for a long or "double R" sound.

The trend did not catch on. we say arr to be cool. cauzee pirates "arr" cool! :D

Mathematics of Arr-ness[edit]

See also[edit]

Look up Angry pirate in Undictionary, the twisted dictionary