Will Smith

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Actor Will Smith.

Willard Carroll "Will" Smith Jr. (born September 15, 1968) — also known by the typecast Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Gun, or his official title His Royal Freshness — is an American film actor, former television actor, rapper, slapper, and black man. Though his career began rather inauspiciously, Smith’s titular role in popular '90s sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air catapulted him into the film industry, of which Smith is now the metaphorical king.

Every year, Smith — along with other supposedly talented actors like Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Angelina Jolie, and Shia LaBeouf — makes more money than any three Pacific island nations combined, though whether or not he deserves said money is another matter entirely.

Musical career

Rapper Will Smith, during his garishly tacky "West Philadelphia, born and raised" phase.

Smith began his media career as one third of the hip-hop trio DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, along with fellow artists and black men Jeffery Townes and Clarence Holmes. The group was fairly successful, and won the first ever Grammy by a rap act. Smith, however, decided to leave the group in the late 1980s in order to move onto bigger and better things — and to quickly make up for all the money he'd blown up from their collective bank balance.

Television career

After moderate success in music, Smith moved on to the next logical stage of his career: comedy sitcoms on network television. Fortunately for Smith, NBC was looking for exactly what he offered — a black man with little-to-no acting or comedic experience. History was made.

What resulted was The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, arguably the sixth-greatest African-American sitcom of all time. The program aired from 1990 to 1996, and though it is now largely forgotten aside from its theme song, the real importance of Fresh Prince was its introduction of Smith and his acting greatness to the rest of the world.

Film career

1993–97: Early years

Will Smith, seen here in box office hit Men in Black, with gun.

After moderate success in television, Smith moved on to the next logical step in his career: playing the lead in Hollywood blockbuster action movies. His Hollywood career began in 1993 with the drama Six Degrees of Separation, where he played a sneaky con-man who preys on socialites.

In 1995, Smith was approached by sub-par director, cliché enthusiast and noted ADD sufferer Michael Bay to play the lead in the director’s [sic] new film [sic], Bad Boys. Though the movie’s gross was only in the low hundreds of millions of dollars, Smith’s riveting portrayal of Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Gun made waves around Hollywood; it wouldn’t be long before other sub-standard directors took notice.

The following year, Smith was approached by anther industry giant with an affinity for explosions: Roland Emmerich. Emmerich was incredibly impressed with Smith’s performance in Bad Boys, and promptly cast the actor in the role of Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Fighter Jet alongside Jeff Goldblum and The Dad From Casper in his own self-indulgent, over-the-top and highly patriotic blockbuster: Independence Day. Independence Day would prove to be a mega-hit, breaking several box office records, as well as earning the distinction of being the third most-played movie on basic cable, behind only Top Gun and Rocky II. Smith’s acting earned similar distinction, being praised as being “totally derived from earlier works” by many critics.

In 1997, Smith was cast as Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Laser Gun (shortened to “Agent J” during shooting) in Men in Black. With yet another success under his belt, Men in Black would prove to be the first high water mark in Smith’s film career.

1998–2001: The Slump

Will Smith, seen here in box office flop Ali, without gun.

Smith had quickly become one of Hollywood’s most successful — and most bankable — actors. In 1998, he accepted the role of Disgruntled Conspiracy Theorist With A Gun in Enemy of the State. The film proved to be a radical departure from Smith’s prior work, and box office revenues reflected it. Smith followed this disappointment with arguably his worst career move: the actor opted out of the role of Neo in The Matrix in favor of doing Wild Wild West. When later asked about this seemingly-obvious utterly-terrible decision, Smith simply replied that the part of Neo “wasn’t disgruntled enough.” After the utter failure of West, Smith would have a quiet New Willennium, before almost killing his career for good the following year.

In 2001, film auteur Michael Mann approached Smith with his project Ali, an ambitious bio-epic about legendary boxer Muhammad Ali. At first, Smith was reticent about accepting the role, as Ali was not comically but dramatically disgruntled, and lacked a firearm. However, the actor finally accepted. Though the film earned him a surprise Oscar nomination for Best Actor, the film — like almost all good movies — had just an adequate box office performance. Smith’s agent quickly dropped him, and the actor’s career looked like it was finished. Smith would have to go back to his roots to find success, which, in the realm of Hollywood blockbusters, meant doing a sequel.

2002–2021: Back in form

Will Smith, seen here in box office hit I Am Legend, with gun.

Following the Ali debacle, Smith did back-to-back sequels to revive his slumping career. In 2002, he reprised his role of Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Laser Gun in Men in Black II, and the following year went back to where it all began with Bad Boys II and another classic portrayal of Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Gun. Now with two back-to-back hits and $35 million from said hits under his belt, Smith was free to explore the limits his typecast would allow him to go.

In 2004, Smith played Disgruntled Low-Level Authority Figure With A Gun And A Prejudice Against Robots in I, Robot, which proved to be yet another success. Smith followed up the success of I, Robot with his acclaimed portrayal of Disgruntled Scientist With A Gun in I Am Legend and Disgruntled Homeless Man With Super Powers in Hancock, both being sizable financial successes. In 2006, Smith was Oscar nominated for pushing his typecast to its bare limits when he depicted Disgruntled Homeless Man With A Rubik's Cube in The Pursuit of Happyness.

2022 Slap in form


“Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth!”

~ The Fresh Prince had spoken

In 2022, Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars; Marty the Zebra had made a smarmmy joke about Oscar the Fish's wife Gloria the Hippo looking like a cancer patient with her shaved head in the movie G.I. Jane. Oscar was banned from attending the Oscars for ten years by the academy (the same academy that had been slow to ban pedophile rapists such as Roman Polanski), and resigned from their board. The Slap had trashed Smith's reputation worse than his participation in the 2018 YouTube Rewind.

Much speculation exists as to what new career Smith will use his newfound pariah status to parlay himself into. Some believe that Smith will use his notable-though-moderate acting success and controversies to inexplicably parlay himself into politics, à la Ronald Reagan or Kanye West. Most Hollywood demographers, however, are of the opinion that Smith’s charisma and sustained appeal to men and women between the ages of 45 and 64 will eventually lead him into running a religious cult. In any event, one thing is certain: Smith will achieve levels of success and recognition far higher than what his actual level of talent would preclude.

Married in Name Only

In October 2023 Jada Pinkett informed a waiting world that her marriage to Will Smith had been over since 2017. This secret had been shared only with her publisher. Will was unaware they were no longer married, even if in Name Only.

See also

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