Vagina/Lite
1. A four-wheeled horse-drawn pleasure carriage having two or four seats. Popular in France and commonly customised by adding fringe on top.
2. A very high quality type of handbag, sometimes referred to as a slot or spam purse, also incomprehensibly gash or axe-wound. Often times found full of stuff.
Vaginas are known for their tedious monologues.
Unkempt vaginas are prone to be flammable, as used in the phrase "you flaming vagina".
Professors of vaginology are commonly referred to as vaginarians or vaginalogists. That they may be called gynaecologists is a vagination of clitorical proportion.
3. A weapon used by women and fish to destroy men's "logic centers" .
4. A vagina is also a type of cavity. See dentistry.
5. A unendless hole. See Hole
6. Home of the clitoris.
Alternate Definition[edit]
The most influential force in the known universe, the vagina is stronger than the five fundamental physical forces (gravity, strong and weak nuclear, electro-magnetic, Bush Administration foreign policy) combined. It is thought to be the portal to God. Approximately one-half of the terrestrial human population possesses the mysterious force, while the other half spends the majority of their young adult lives trying to access it momentarily.
The life-support for the vagina is also known as the woman.
The term vagina also typically refers to cities, states or countries with the characteristics of a vagina. For example, Toronto Ontario in the summer can be considered a vagina because it is hot (near body temperature), humid (90%+ relative humidity), smells like rotting garbage (unwashed), and additionally gives birth to all Canadian hubris (reproductive function). Similar conditions exist for countries such as Taiwan ROC and states such as Florida in the summer.
Commonly-Confused Words[edit]
The Mediterranean is also commonly confused with a vagina because of their many similar characteristics, listed as follows:
- hot
- wet
- small opening at one end one must squeeze through
- entry is easier if you placate the power just above the opening
- all the way in is a place that has birthed entire races
- said area also erupts in periodic bloodshed
Important to Know[edit]
With the invention of the penis, the tool used to cook Riddlefinchcooooooocooooccoooospits, vaginas became wildly unpopular. Penises were simply easier to use, they could cook delicious food, and they didn't spout monologues all the time — although they do talk a lot of cock. To maintain a penis, a simple polish every few days is necessary to keep it in prime cooking order. To maintain a vagina, one needs the will of God in order to keep things under wrap. Regardless, vaginas are the reasons men talk to women.
It's hard to find a word that rhymes with vagina. South Carolina, Calvin Klein kinda... Perhaps "capital of Saskatchewan" would be the closest rhyming phrase.
Civilization[edit]
If global trends continue as they are now, it is predicted that by the year 2037 the woman's vagina will reign supreme over all of civilization as we know it, in the rise of the second Woman Empire, Aristasia. Under the new administration, men will be used only for fertilization such as when a woman/vagina wants to have offspring or only if it/she is rather horny.
Men will be addressed simply by numbers, e.g. #2774890. Each man will have their own unique number and must send a request to the almighty vagina for their needs, such as new clothing or food of their own choice. The food they'll receive by default will be beer and steak and they will have daily activities such as watching porn or sports shows from the 90s, in a highly effective method to keep men from questioning the world around them.
Women will also have a vast amount of freedom to do as they please and have the privilege of not asking the supreme vagina. This freedom will be spent shoeshopping 24-7. The shoe industry will experience an unparalled economic boom. Science and technology will fade away as women will be too busy trying on shoes.
If any man or woman defies the rule of the supreme vagina, they will be tortured and automatically thrown into the death chamber which lies deep within the supreme vagina herself and straight into the placenta. There, the victims will be squeezed to death and if still alive, they will drown in acidic amniotic fluids.
However, without a radical restructuring in policy this empire is doomed to fail like the first one.
Censorship[edit]
Many women attempt to censor their vaginas. The most common method is to grow hair there. Less common methods include burqas.
Famous Vaginas in Movies[edit]
- Sharon Stone: Basic Instinct
- Gerald Scarfe: Pink Floyd The Wall (monster, animated)
- Alan Alda: Everything he does
- Tom Cruise: Every single damn movie
- Ben Affleck: Ummm... Gigli anyone?
- Porn