Mongol wars (video game)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The First Campaign[edit]

**TehMightyKhan has entered the game**

*WhiteAndHigh has joined the game*

*Game commencing!*
...

TehMightyKhan: lol im the gr8est ruler in the world

WhiteAndHigh: no ur not suxx0rz

TehMightyKhan: ur gona get pwn3d 4 that

*GoldenThrone has joined the game*

WhiteAndHigh: help me plz GoldenThrone

GoldenThrone: no chance n00b

*TehMightyKhan has struck WhiteAndHigh!*

*3 damage to WhiteAndHigh!*

WhiteAndHigh: lol n00b! own3d u!!1!

TehMightyKhan: oh yeah?

*TehMightyKhan has struck WhiteAndHigh!*

*94 damage to WhiteAndHigh!*

WhiteAndHigh: fuk fuk

TehMightyKhan: whos the n00b?

WhiteAndHigh: ok point taken

*WhiteAndHigh sends Tribute to TehMightyKhan!*

TehMightyKhan: thats better


The War on Manchuria[edit]

GoldenThrone: im still better than u

TehMightyKhan: no ur not

GoldenThrone: yes i am

*ALLAHAKBAR has joined the game*

ALLAHAKBAR: hi

TehMightyKhan: hey there

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*3 damage to GoldenThrone!*

GoldenThrone: lol sux0rz

ALLAHAKBAR: need some help m8?

TehMightyKhan: ok thx

*TehMightyKhan sends Trade Concessions to ALLAHAKBAR!*

*ALLAHAKBAR sends Weapons to TehMightyKhan!*

*GoldenThrone has struck TehMightyKhan!*

*0 damage to TehMightyKhan!*

GoldenThrone: wtf!

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*89 damage to GoldenThrone!*

*TehMightyKhan has besieged Beijing!*

TehMightyKhan: lol! pwn3d u

GoldenThrone: not yet

*GoldenThrone has struck TehMightyKhan!*

*36 damage to TehMightyKhan!*

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*37 damage to GoldenThrone!*

TehMightyKhan: boring

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*Critical Hit!*

*75 damage to GoldenThrone!*

*TehMightyKhan has killed Beijing!*

GoldenThrone: wtf!

TehMightyKhan: lol i rox0r

*GoldenThrone has moved Capital to Kaifeng!*

TehMightyKhan: coward

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*41 damage to GoldenThrone!*

*GoldenThrone has struck TehMightyKhan!*

*6 damage to TehMightyKhan!*

TehMightyKhan: LMAO!!!1!1!

TehMightyKhan: ok lets have some backup m8

*WhiteAndHigh sends Tribute to TehMightyKhan!*

*WhiteAndHigh sends Soldiers to TehMightyKhan!*

TehMightyKhan: showtime

TehMightyKhan: prepare to be pwn3d!!

*TehMightyKhan has struck GoldenThrone!*

*75 damage to GoldenThrone!*

*TehMightyKhan has killed Kaifeng!*

*TehMightyKhan has taken GoldenThrone!*

TehMightyKhan: did u c those l33t skillz?


The War in the West[edit]

*Song_mast3r has joined the game*

*ALLAHAKBAR53847 has joined the game*

*ALLAHAKBAR53847 is now known as BlackCathay*

*ALLAHAKBAR3744 has joined the game*

*ALLAHAKBAR3744 is now known as Khwarezm*

*BlackCathay controls transmitted to I_hate_teh_khan*

I_hate_teh_khan: l0ser u have no skillz

TehMightyKhan: ur askin 4 it punk

*TehMightyKhan has struck I_hate_teh_khan!*

*156 damage to I_hate_teh_khan!*

*TehMightyKhan has killed I_hate_teh_khan!*

TehMightyKhan: lol that was too easy

Song_mast3r: not bad

*Inalchuk has joined the game*

*Otrar controls transmitted to Inalchuk*

TehMightyKhan: want some loot?

*TehMightyKhan sends Envoys to Khwarezm!*

Khwarezm: fukin idol8or

Khwarezm: get him NOW

*Inalchuk has struck Envoys!*

*Inalchuk has killed Envoys!*

TehMightyKhan: wtf are u doin

TehMightyKhan: last chance m8

*TehMightyKhan sends Envoys to Khwarezm!*

Khwarezm: l0ser!

*Inalchuk has struck Envoys!*

*Inalchuk has killed Envoys!*

TehMightyKhan: ur goin down sux0r!

*TehMightyKhan has struck Inalchuk!*

*173 damage to Inalchuk!*

*TehMightyKhan has killed Inalchuk!*

*TehMightyKhan has taken Otrar!*

TehMightyKhan: i well pwn3d him!

TehMightyKhan: now ill pwn u

*TehMightyKhan has struck Khwarezm!*

*450 damage to Khwarezm!*

Khwarezm: ill get u h3retic

*Khwarezm has struck TehMightyKhan!*

*79 damage to TehMightyKhan!*

TehMightyKhan: ur the l0ser

*TehMightyKhan has struck Khwarezm!*

*537 damage to Khwarezm!*

*TehMightyKhan has struck Khwarezm!*

*Critical Hit!*

*85672973 damage to Khwarezm!*

*TehMightyKhan has taken Khwarezm!*

TehMightyKhan: saw that?

ALLAHAKBAR: OMFGZ!!!

TehMightyKhan: i well rox0r!

ALLAHAKBAR: OK ill be nice 2 u

TehMightyKhan: you better


The Great Adventure[edit]

The First Attack[edit]

*mstislav_da_man has joined the game*

*mstislav_da_man347 has joined the game*

*WeWasEre1st has joined the game*

*hard-man has joined the game*
...

*g0ds_h0mey has joined the game*

*KingRick has joined the game*

*Dr. Phil has joined the game*

g0ds_h0mey: how u guys doin on #holyland?

*ALLAHAKBAR has struck KingRick!*

*35 damage to KingRick!*

*ALLAHAKBAR has struck Dr. Phil!*

*35 damage to Dr. Phil!*

g0ds_h0mey: i see

*Giorgi4 has joined the game*

g0ds_h0mey: yo georgi4

Giorgi4: wassup

g0ds_h0mey: want to hlp us on #holyland?

Giorgi4: ok wait a mo

...
*Giorgi4 builds Knight!*

*Giorgi4 builds Knight!*

*Giorgi4 builds Knight!*
...

*Mongol Horde 1 controls transmitted to Arr0Man*

*Mongol Horde 2 controls transmitted to rite_h&*

TehMightyKhan: hey guys, lets go trash #europe

Arr0Man: lol yeah

rite_h&: lets go

...

g0ds_h0mey: rdy yet?

Giorgi4: yup

rite_h& has struck Giorgi4!*

*25 damage to Giorgi4!*

rite_h& has killed Knight!*

Arr0Man has struck Giorgi4!*

*31 damage to Giorgi4!*

Arr0Man has killed Knight!*

Giorgi4: wtf was that

rite_h&: lol n00b

Arr0Man: well pwn j00

rite_h& has struck Giorgi4!*

*47 damage to Giorgi4!*

rite_h& has killed Knight!*

Arr0Man has struck Giorgi4!*

*53 damage to Giorgi4!*

Arr0Man has killed Giorgi4!*

*Giorgi4 controls transmitted to killaqueen*

killaqueen: ok im not gonna fight yet

g0ds_h0mey: b1tch

The Second Attack[edit]

Arr0Man: that was fun

Arr0Man: lets pwn #russia

rite_h&: fuk yeah!

*mstislav_da_man347 is no longer idle*

*mstislav_da_man is no longer idle*

*WeWasEre1st is no longer idle

mstislav_da_man347: were gonna get own3d

mstislav_da_man: were not gonna get own3d j00 n00b

WeWasEre1st: lets team up on tehm

mstislav_da_man347: gd idea

mstislav_da_man: ok im da leader

WeWasEre1st: hate u (((

mstislav_da_man: l0s3r

rite_h&: well own j00

Arr0Man: ok ready

rite_h&: yo

Arr0Man: NOW

rite_h& has struck mstislav_da_man!*

*7 damage to mstislav_da_man!*

Arr0Man has struck WeWasEre1st!*

*12 damage to WeWasEre1st!*

mstislav_da_man: sux0rz ill pwn j00

mstislav_da_man has struck rite_h&!*

rite_h& has retreated!

Arr0Man has retreated!

*0 damage to rite_h&!*

mstislav_da_man: cowards

mstislav_da_man: get them

WeWasEre1st has struck Arr0Man!*

*20 damage to WeWasEre1st!*

WeWasEre1st: wtf

WeWasEre1st: you try

mstislav_da_man347 has struck rite_h&!*

*30 damage to mstislav_da_man347!*

rite_h& has killed mstislav_da_man347!*

mstislav_da_man: omfg

mstislav_da_man: howd he do that?

Arr0Man has struck WeWasEre1st!*

42 damage to WeWasEre1st!*

Arr0Man has killed WeWasEre1st!*

mstislav_da_man: fuk they all died

Arr0Man: lol n00b!

rite_h&: fun time

rite_h& has struck mstislav_da_man!*

*39 damage to mstislav_da_man!*

Arr0Man has struck mstislav_da_man!*

*47 damage to mstislav_da_man!*

mstislav_da_man: fuk this

mstislav_da_man has left the game*

TehMightyKhan: yo we rox0rd

The Third Attack[edit]

*hard-man is no longer idle*

hard-man: lol those n00bs all got own3d

Arr0Man has struck hard-man!*

*20 damage to hard-man!*

hard-man: thats why

hard-man: well take that!

hard-man has struck Arr0Man!*

*60 damage to Arr0Man!*

rite_h&: wtf

hard-man: and that!

hard-man has struck rite_h&!*

*80 damage to rite_h&!*

Arr0Man: ouch

Arr0Man has retreated!

rite_h& has retreated!

hard-man: l0s3r!

Arr0Man: well get you yet!

rite_h&: just u wait...


The Khan's Last Campaign[edit]

TehMightyKhan: im bored

TehMightyKhan: give me some more soldiers

WhiteAndHigh: cannot be arsed

TehMightyKhan: what

WhiteAndHigh: cannot be arsed

TehMightyKhan: want to reconsider that?

WhiteAndHigh: *cannot. be. arsed.*

TehMightyKhan: ok your goin down

*TehMightyKhan has struck WhiteAndHigh!*

*50 damage to WhiteAndHigh!*

WhiteAndHigh: ow

TehMightyKhan: u aint seen nothin yet

*TehMightyKhan has bombed WhiteAndHigh!*

*100 damage to WhiteAndHigh!*

WhiteAndHigh: WTF??!!!?!

TehMightyKhan: lol

WhiteAndHigh: ok i give in

*WhiteAndHigh sends Tribute to TehMightyKhan!*
...

*80 damage to TehMightyKhan per turn!*

WhiteAndHigh: now what was that

TehMightyKhan: what

WhiteAndHigh: *80 damage to TehMightyKhan per turn!*

TehMightyKhan: nothing

TehMightyKhan: server bug probably

WhiteAndHigh: no it isnt

WhiteAndHigh: ur gona die

TehMightyKhan: oh well

*TehMightyKhan sends Money to WhiteAndHigh!*

*TehMightyKhan sends Lordship to WhiteAndHigh!*

WhiteAndHigh: whyd u do taht

TehMightyKhan: wait and see

...
*TehMightyKhan has struck WhiteAndHigh!*

*Critical Hit!*

*200 damage to WhiteAndHigh!*

*TehMightyKhan has taken WhiteAndHigh!*

TehMightyKhan: hows that for a last shot eh?

*TehMightyKhan has left the game (Ping timeout)*

*TehMightyKhan controls transmitted to Drink!!!*

The Succession[edit]

The Attack in the North[edit]

*Duke_Vladimir has joined the game*

*P014K has joined the game*

*hard-man is no longer idle*

*mstislav_da_man is no longer idle*

*mstislav_da_man controls transmitted to BEL4*

*Arr0Man has left the game (Ping timeout)*

*Golden Khanate controls transmitted to ConQeror*

ConQeror: lets go & get those city slickas

rite_h&: im up 4 it

*ALLAHAKBAR is no longer idle*

*g0ds_h0mey is no longer idle*

*KingRick is no longer idle*

*KingRick controls transmitted to h3nry*

*Dr. Phil is no longer idle*

*Dr. Phil controls transmitted to someone_called_louis*

ALLAHAKBAR: yo d00d those mongols r guna pwn j00

g0ds_h0mey: stfu h3r3t1c

ALLAHAKBAR: i mean it

someone_called_louis: merde!

h3nry: bl00dy arabs

ALLAHAKBAR: oh well

ALLAHAKBAR: ur 1st on da list hard_man

hard-man: no chance

*rite_h& has struck hard-man!*

*60 damage to hard-man!*

hard-man: typical

hard-man: cannot be bothered any more

*hard-man has left the game*

rite_h&: coward

rite_h&: oh well

*rite_h& has struck Duke_Vladimir!*

*40 damage to Duke_Vladimir!*

Duke_Vladimir: nyetnyetnyet

*Duke_Vladimir has struck rite_h&!*

*19 damage to rite_h&!*

rite_h&: hurt me, hurt me

*rite_h& has struck Duke_Vladimir!*

*50 damage to Duke_Vladimir!*

*WeWasEre1st has respawn*

Duke_Vladimir: just in time

Duke_Vladimir: lets gets those heathenz

*WeWasEre1st has struck rite_h&!*

*33 damage to rite_h&!*

rite_h&: oh yeah?

*rite_h& has struck WeWasEre1st!*

*60 damage to WeWasEre1st!*

WeWasEre1st: no fun

*WeWasEre1st has left the game*

*rite_h& has struck Duke_Vladimir!*

*60 damage to Duke_Vladimir!*

Duke_Vladimir: i cannot take it any more!

*Duke_Vladimir has left the game*
...

*g0ds_h0mey is no longer idle*

ConQeror: ok g0ds_h0mey i know your good but you shud just give up now

g0ds_h0mey: no chance

*h3nry is no longer idle*

*someone_called_louis is no longer idle*

*P014K is no longer idle*

g0ds_h0mey: get rdy 2 destroy the infid3l

someone_called_louis: bof

h3nry: not yet im having a cup of tea

P014K: alright ill do it

*Big Henry has entered the game*

*Deep-pan-crisp-&-even has entered the game*

P014K: you guys hlp me

Big Henry: wait not rdy yet

Deep-pan-crisp-&-even: brb

*rite_h& has struck P014K!*

*25 damage to P014K!*

P014K: ach!!

*rite_h& has burned Lublin!*

*30 damage to P014K!*

*rite_h& has burned Sandomir!*

*30 damage to P014K!*

*rite_h& has burned Krakow!*

*30 damage to P014K!*

P014K: this cannot be hapening

*Wroclaw has burned Wroclaw!*

*30 damage to P014K!*

*P014K has left the game*

ConQeror: rofl!

Big Henry: n00bz

rite_h&: your next

Big Henry: wtf

*rite_h& has struck Big Henry!*

*15 damage to Big Henry!*

Big Henry: l0ser

*Big Henry has struck rite_h&!*

rite_h& has retreated!

*0 damage to rite_h&!*

Big Henry: oh its *that* trick eh

*rite_h& has struck Big Henry!*

*75 damage to Big Henry!*

*rite_h& has killed Big Henry!*

*Deep-pan-crisp-&-even is no longer idle*

Deep-pan-crisp-&-even: guyz im rdy

Deep-pan-crisp-&-even: oh

*Deep-pan-crisp-&-even has left the game*

The Attack in the South[edit]

*WeWasEre1st has entered the game*

*BEL4 is no longer idle*

BEL4: come an help us pwn the mongols

WeWasEre1st: no u do it

*rite_h& has struck BEL4!*

*10 damage to BEL4!*

BEL4: im not fallin 4 that 1

rite_h& has retreated!

BEL4: see

BEL4: *now* ill get him

*BEL4 has struck rite_h&!*

*10 damage to rite_h&!*

BEL4: why didn't that work?

*rite_h& has bombed BEL4!*

*80 damage to BEL4!*

BEL4: OMGWTF??!!!?!

*BEL4 has left the game*

ConQeror: nice work rite_h&