Lilo

A leaked photo from the FBI materials on Lilo. It may not be entirely accurate.

“lilo is online via irc.freenode.net (http://freenode.net/). lilo is away: Whoops, I've stepped away.”

~ Freenode on Lilo

Lilo was once a living legend, a folk hero in the free kingdom of Freenode, where Uncyclopedia's non-cabal resides.

The legend

His name stood for "Linux Loader" for his ability to instantly reload hundreds of Freenode servers running Linux. During his lifetime, Lilo was best known for spamming channels (especially #uncyclopedia) with notices about servers going down for maintenance about N times a day. The exact numbers were lost when the driver of the car that hit Lilo pressed a red button on a strange device found in his pocket, unaware that it was designed to blow up the statistics server in case of an FBI raid.

For his ability to reset connections, Lilo was often compared to Peer, another IRC legend. Some even speculated that Lilo and Peer were the same person, a theory that was thwarted after, on September 17, Freenode scientist "alleyoopster" discovered that Peer was still alive, which was formulated in a one-line report about his experiment:

<-- alleyoopster has left this server (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer)).

A Lilo sighting: coincidence or conspiracy?

Speculation

It is rumored that Lilo's death was actually faked to draw the officials away from the statistics server explosion, which occurred accidentally. It is supported by the fact that the IRC server remains ignorant about both accidents, not to mention users on all channels in existence (except #wikipedia, which boldly mentioned it in the topic despite an obvious Lilo sighting on that very channel). Nevertheless, they turned out to have enough resources to investigate both accidents.

Opponents of the "Lilo lives" theory point out that it wasn't Lilo himself who reverted the vandalism on his user page. Advocates, however, counter this argument, saying that dead people don't usually have user pages saying "I am", not to mention that nobody dies for real on Uncyclopedia anyway (or at least remains in that state for long).