Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 27

January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet or Exotic Dancer to Work Day

• 218 BCE - Hannibal Barca, travelling through Gaul, finds hotels refuse to allow his pet elephants in his rooms.
• 1066 - William of France accidentally distracts the English army with a line of his obsequious bowing servants mistaken for twerking women. Harold of England raises his visor to get a better look, with not-so-very-good results.
• 1313 - The Pope and King Charlemagne lead the first celebration of this holiday, followed by hundreds of pole dancers and strippers with griffons and dragons flying overhead.
• 1649 - Charles II restores poles and pole dancers to Parliament.
• 1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writer's block, brings his pet Negro Toby to work. Jeffy wakes up later in the day from a nap to discover that Toby has finished writing the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence. Jeffy promptly whips Toby and submits the Declaration to the Continental Congress the next day.
• 1945 - President Harry Truman let his Komodo dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nookz.
• 1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. This scares the British into leaving India.
• 1959 - Keith Olbermann is born in New York. The hospital staff lets a doctor's pet Gila monster deliver Olbermann, only to have the animal kidnap Olbermann and raise him for the next 18 years. Thus the grown sportscaster would later join the reptile in its festering hatred for the Dodgers for leaving Brooklyn.
• 1984 - Winston Smith brings his parrot to work, only to have it arrested by the Thought Police for thoughtcrime. Doubleplus good!
• 2005 - Amir Khan brings his pet Shahrukh Khan to his film shoot. He says it is his lucky charm.
• 2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.
• 2010 - Amitabh Bachchan brings Aishwarya Rai on a leash, marries her off to his son.
• 2011 - Aishwarya Rai bears a child who is put on leash too.