UnNews:James Brown dies, a full 30 years after Soul Music died

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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UnNews

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Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:15:59 (UTC)

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25 December 2006

Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.

His family photo, minus the family.

ATLANTA, GA - Singer James Brown, known as the "Godfather of Soul", has died at the tender age of 73, his agent has said. The star was famous for hits including "I Got You (I Feel Good)", "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" and hitting pedestrians on the road.

"He is such an influence, I learned so much from him," Mr Copsidas told the BBC World Service, "Although I can't say I play funk, or any, kind of music. So I didn't really learn much at all. Nevermind".

On Saturday, he went to his dentist up in Atlanta, and his dentist diagnosed him with severe pneumonia of the teeth.

The star was credited with spreading the popularity of funk around the world, influencing a new generation of black music which spawned rap and hip-hop. Now, people just wish he had just inspired more funk.

Last month Brown played at a ceremony at London's Alexandra Palace which saw his induction into the UK Music Hall of Fame, which is odd, because he's American. Brian Wilson was inducted, too. And he only had one top 10 single in the UK, ever - and it was called "Living in America", no less. British people are running out of decent musicians, it would seem.

Bob Harris of BBC Radio 2 described him as a "Massive influence, not just for black music but also for so many white music fans who were so strongly motivated and influenced by the music he made. But let's be serious. Do black people even listen to Soul anymore? Nah. Mostly white people, then. Old white people. With icky ear hairs, even".

The Godfather's soul empire is now up for grabs, but none of today's hyphy wannabees want it.

Sources

• A Distinguished Gentleman from the BBC "James Brown dies - No, really". BBC, December 25, 2006