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Template:Lead articles

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Trump renames Christmas
UnNews Logo Potato1.pngTRUMPOPEDIA
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. President Donald Trump has renamed Christmas "America Day".

The move follows the controversial earlier renamings of the Trump-Lincoln Memorial and Thanksgiving, now known as "Thank You Mr. Trump". Full story»


Uncyclopedia implements funny ban
UnNews Logo Potato1.pngNAVELISM
CANBERRA, Australia -- As the Australian Government bans everyone under the age of 16 from all social media platforms, Uncyclopedia admins have implemented their own ban on editors — no funny people allowed.

Now, when signing up, the new Artificial Intelligence (called UnAI) will run a full background check, including credit score, parking fines, and overdue movie rentals. Full story»

Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Singer Miley Cyrus will lend her wrecking ball to President Donald Trump's radical changes to the White House.

Cyrus said she was "thrilled to be asked" to help clear away the substandard East Wing and replace it with a golden ballroom. Full story»


Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile
LONDON -- Disgraced British royal Prince Andrew is to be banished from his home country after fresh revelations about his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein and young women.

His brother King Charles III said his brother was now an ex-royal persona non grata. Full story»

John Bolton is indicted
GREENBELT, Maryland -- John R. Bolton, a top aide in the first administration of Donald Trump who went on to become a large, hirsute thorn in Trump's side, was indicted.

Prosecutors said it is always awkward when the government is investigating Iranian hackers and discovers they had secret documents because the President's National "Security" Advisor was emailing them to relatives through AOL. Full story»


Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints
ALLIGATOR ALCATRAZ, Florida -- Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced that the state's numerous Cracker Barrel restaurants will be used as immigration checkpoints.

State troopers, seated in the corner and oddly ordering neither food nor drink, will peruse other patrons for signs that they might fit in better in some other country. Full story»

Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA
MOHEGAN SUN CASINO, Connecticut -- The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) is seeing its season dominated by the Flying Dildos, the franchise based at this casino.

The league's new theme centers on the dildo, a perfect fit for a league that emphasizes doing things without men. Fans are getting into the act, tossing plasticware onto courts during games. Full story»


Epstein list emerges
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is denying he has ever known who Jeffrey Epstein was.

The Leader of the Free World denied he was a friend of Epstein and that all mentions of him in the so-called Epstein files were "lies" cooked up by former presidents Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Full story»

Miss England to Miss World: I'm out
HYDERABAD, India -- Miss England has made history by withdrawing from the Miss World beauty pageant, the first to do so in England's 74 years there.

Milla Magee of Cornwall laid out her particulars during a pageant publicity event here, stating that organisers paraded her like a 'performing monkey'. Magee, lacking the simian prehensile tail, had done poorly in that role. Full story»


[edit] [purge] Template-info.svg Template documentation

{{Lead articles}} is the template the UnNews Editor-in-Chief should edit. It controls the placement of graphic features of selected news stories on the Front Page, by having a variable number of calls to {{Lead article}} (singular), one for each graphic. Do not edit {{Lead article}} itself.

It's convenient to copy a working call to {{Lead article}} (from the word FEATURE to the following word FEATURE), paste it before the first feature, and adjust the fields to fit the new story being featured. If the first feature is both, do a side-by-side by making it right and making the new feature left. If there is already a side-by-side at the top, make the new one both. Also truncate the last feature(s) on the page to keep the number of features constant.

The individual graphics (individual calls to {{Lead article}}) have the following fields:

  • arrange — Indicates the article's layout in its row of featured articles:
    • both (or lead) Spans the entire row and causes a horizontal line beneath.
    • left The article on the left side of a pair of side-by-side articles. Code this before the right one.
    • right The article on the right side of a pair of side-by-side articles. Code this after the left one, because it causes a horizontal line beneath.
  • image — The image name (omit File:). Our policy is for every graphic to include an image (even if not funny without its caption), but if you leave this blank, the null image Spacer.gif is used
  • dept — (optional) A legend centered above the headline. Lowercase letters become small capitals. Typical departments are:
    • BREAKING NEWS or URGENT for stories that either are relevant to big real-world news, or are not
    • EXCLUSIVE for "exclusive interviews," especially when they are exclusive because we're interviewing ourselves
    • PANIC in the SKIES — prized by all journalists, especially if it should have been the Happiest Day of the Year
    • NAVEL-GAZING for UnNews articles that revolve around UnNews
    • FEATURE for articles that are featured on the Uncyclopedia main page
    • ORIGINAL for stories with {{Original}} instead of real sources
    • EDITORIAL for stories tagged as UnNews Editorials
    • COLUMN for stories tagged as UnNews Columns
  • title — The page name (omit UnNews:); that is, the headline
  • short_title — (optional) If the page name is too long or doesn't look like a headline, provide the desired headline here.
  • border — If you type the CSS name of a color here (or use the hexadecimal format #rgb or #rrggbb), a border of that color is drawn around the graphic. Specifying black is appropriate for obituaries.
  • summary — The first sentence or two of the story. If you can write a funnier lead by pulling stuff from throughout the story, that would be funnier.

Important notes:

  • If you put vertical space between the calls to {{Lead article}}, comment them out, or space is output that throws off the relation between articles.
  • If not using border, dept, or short_title, set it to none. Don't remove the lines completely; that makes it harder for the next editor to see the correct form to follow.