Please delete this page
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“There is nothing amusing to be said about this page.”
“I have never done it before, but there's a first for everything. I'm going to fucking kill whoever made this page, just for using this fucking cliche.”
“Caring about this page should be the least of George Bush's priorities.”
Please delete this page. This page is an utter waste of space and should be removed for a number of reasons, all specified below. It goes without saying that this page a candidate for speedy deletion, and hopefully you got here by clicking a link on QVFD.
What follows is a general outline of the chief reasons this page has no merit: lack of notability, gibberish from the mouth of a twelve-year-old, vanity, contradiction, shock imagery, Caps-lock MISUSE, poorly ordered outlines, awkward cliches, absence of links, and dwojfsdf OMG OMG WTF LULZ, I am peacefully fluent in dolphin Squeek squeek squeek .
Stupid, not funny
Let's get one detail straight: King James was a 19th-century robot created by Bill Gates to translate The DaVinci Code into French. Instead of performing his task, however, all he ever printed was a series of pamphlets predicting that, thanks to its pointless anachronisms and other weak attempts at absurdity, this particular webpage would one day suck more than any other.
In addition, Uncyclopedia is not meant to be accurate; it's meant to be humorous. Facts, in principle, should go on Wikipedia. The following information should help make this clear.
- Benjamin Harrison was elected President of the United States in 1888.[1]
- The square root of sixteen is four.[2]
- The quantum harmonic oscillator is the quantum mechanical analogue of the classical harmonic oscillator. It is one of the most important model systems in quantum mechanics because, as in classical mechanics, a wide variety of physical situations can be reduced to it either exactly or approximately. In particular, a system near an equilibrium configuration can often be described in terms of one or more harmonic oscillators. Furthermore, it is one of the few quantum mechanical systems for which a simple exact solution is known.[3]
- NASA's Moon Landing was far less of an achievement than Time Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Earth, with 4 simultaneous corner days in 1 rotation of Earth. (singularity belief scientist can't comprehend T.O.E.) The Universe is composed of Opposites - existing only as Opposites - with a zero value existence - cancelling to nothing as a singularity. I think Cubic, therefore I rise above the singularity mentality human and the false gods they worship - discovering a Universe of Opposites their education will never allow them to know. Evil of believing is not measuring and the result of not measuring - is never knowing Truth, ineffable by man or god. God SINGULARITY and the academic taught singularity constitute great evils in the Cubic World of Opposites - Opposites hemispheres and Opposite sexes of humanity.[4]
CAPS LOCK usage
SOME OF THIS PAGE IS VERY POORLY FORMATTED AND IS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS LOCK. I BET ONE OF THOSE SILLY BENSON FOLLOWERS MADE IT. ALL THE BENSON STUFF SHOULD BE LIMITED TO THE 3D HOUSE OF PANCAKES FORUM, NOT TO ACTUAL UNCYCLOPEDIA PAGES. PLEASE GIVE THE CREATOR A SHORT BAN TO TEACH HIM A LESSON ABOUT UNNECESSARY CAPITALIZATION.
Vanity
This page violates Uncyclopedia's vanity and privacy policies by referencing the following obscure real-life persons:
- Timmy Johnson from Lakewood Public High School. Johnson is essentially the best basketball player there. Timmy's classmate Bobby stinks and ought to get a life instead of playing World of Warcraft all day long, at which he sucks anyway.
- My ex-wife Shirlena of Bismarck, South Dakota. I hate her for the way she treats our children, the hygienic decrepitude of her vagina, and her garnishing of my wages.
One of the worst things about this page is that it refers to Uncyclopedia users directly. We all know from the Euroipods episode that this can cause utter chaos; Composure1 really made a mess of things with that article. Furthermore, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion is lame, period. Lame lame lame . Just like a certain article.
Codeine's Mum Rule
Codeine's mum, and I bet even Codeine's dad, has never heard of "Please delete this page." This means it's a topic that's not widely known, and not being notable, there is no reason for a page to exist about this subject.
Not only that, but that's not even a policy standard here, and my writing that it was a clear violation of the unwritten rule of honesty.
Abuse of "USERNAME" template
Someone told me that this page abuses the "USERNAME" template, which has gotten Uncyclopedia into a lot of trouble before. We don't want to return to the days when trolls like, say, <insert name here> were splattering "{{USERNAME}} is an asshole" everywhere. In fact, I'd say that deep down, <insert name here> was the asshole all along. Shit, I hope <insert name here> doesn't see this...
Oh God, why do I drive this ever further into the ground?
Dammit, I think <insert name here> just found us...
Cunt cunt cunt cunt crap crap shit
This section is stupid and not funny.
Durka durka mohammad jihad AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I mean... Ahem... ALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA and other stupid stuff that somehow withstood huffing a while ago!
Dead End
As if everything else wasn't enough, this page is a dead end — it doesn't contain links to any other articles, and doesn't cite sources.[[ citation needed ]] Clearly someone just spent a few minutes making this, and didn't put in any effort at all.
Not only that, but it actually does link to a couple pages The following template is therefore needed, a sure indication of a lack of quality:
| This article appears to lack a unifying concept or idea.
Though parts of it may include decent ideas, without sticking to one of them the whole goes nowhere. Please amend this before someone makes amends another way. If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.
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Let's put it out there again, to make this crystal clear:
| This article appears to lack a unifying concept or idea.
Though parts of it may include decent ideas, without sticking to one of them the whole goes nowhere. Please amend this before someone makes amends another way. If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.
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Please not not allow the above redundancy to go unnoticed.
Shock images
References
The only thing this page has going for it is that it cites its sources. Oh, wait, it doesn't.
- ↑ This footnote is entirely unnecessary.
- ↑ Four, huh? I am splitting my sides over how hilarious the cold, hard facts can be sometimes.
- ↑ This phrase was copied verbatim from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You'll_just_have_to_find_out_yourself.
- ↑ Ray, Gene. Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Time Cube. Batshit Insane Press, 1993.
This page's actual deletion log
- 19:37, October 18, 2011 Lyrithya (talk | contribs) hacked up "Please delete this page" (103 revisions restored: Giggle.)
- 23:54, August 2, 2011 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) huffed "Please delete this page" (Monthly maintenance)
- 18:44, 14 January 2007 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) hacked up "Please delete this page" (1 revisions restored: Everyone take a turn.)
- 18:44, 14 January 2007 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) huffed "Please delete this page" (2.7 Deleted per author request)
- 18:28, 14 January 2007 Tompkins (Talk | contribs) hacked up "Please delete this page" (1 revisions restored: Oh wait, that was a joke wasn't it? Damn...)
- 18:27, 14 January 2007 Tompkins (Talk | contribs) huffed "Please delete this page"
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