K-pop

Kim Jong-Un and John Lemon watching a movie together.

K-pop (an abbreviation of Population K) is the eleventh and greatest attempt for the nation of North Korea to create a clone army capable of world domination. This genre of 'music' was created in 2012 by the musical alter-ego of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, PSY, and the release of his first attempt of brainwashing teenage girls in the west with the song "Gangnam Style". It was created in order to leverage their power as the ultimate arbiters of who and what is popular. It also acted as a clever double entendre for the English translation of the original name of the project — which was a rather bold move by Korean leadership, given that the actual nature of the project was meant to be a secret.

Apart from being made to take over the world, Kim Jong-un created the genre as a tribute to his friend, John Lemon. Kim was distraught after the death of his close mate, who was John Lennon's half-brother, who was accidentally turned into lemonade by a waiter while the two were out for dinner in 2011. The birth of K-pop was also a way for the diminutive dictator to return to the music game after his past successes in the songwriting trio of Lennon-McCartney-Un, and as the drummer of the British-Korean pop-rock band, The Beatles 2.

The Formation of BTS

Main article: BTS

BTS were the first platoon of clone soldiers created in 2013. It stands for Brian's Truck Shop, which was named in honour of Brian (another close friend Kim Jong-Un) whose Truck Shop was burnt down by a group of peaceful protestors, after they were told that there were no more Mars Bars left in stock.

In mid-2013, Kim Jong-Un changed his name to Kim John-Un, in tribute of John Lemon. Later that day, he cloned himself seven times. After hatching from their eggs, President Kim John-Un named them; K, Huge Cook, Water Park, Jim, Honey, Trademark (a.k.a. TM), and U-Despair. After the 7 clones where tought basic speaking skills and given their bachelor's degree in dance, they released their first album, O!RUL8,2?. Which to this day nobody knows what it means, not even the members themselves.

Music videos

K-pop music often has a "catchy beat", and the music videos involve enough flashing lights, smoke machines, and dancing pretty boys to make even people without epilepsy develop it. This genre of song was originally targeted at Koreans, but has since amassed a sizable fanbase of American teenage girls. K-pop is known to entrance more than a billion people per year with its absolute entrancing-ness.

Korean-Mania

On September 11, 2020, BTS and the K-pop genre of music blew up across the world; which resulted in the World Trade Centre in New York City being destroyed. With their fan base made up entirely of women above the age of 60, the disease of 'Korean Mania' spread. BTS was described as the "Modern Day Beatles" by the Washington Post, solely on the premise that when Kim John-Un started World War 3, he would not nuke that part of America.

With K-pop taking over the western world, Cowboys started to stage protests, but were killed by Kim John-Un so that a repeat of Brian's Truck Shop would never happen again.

The Clone Wars

John Lennon after he was brought back from the dead.

After being sent to their rooms for not eating their brussel sprouts, Jim and Water Park broke into their fathers basement; which houses the cloning machine. With the first batch of clones made, Jim went down in history as the first person to have sexual intercourse with a clone, which started the debate between psychologists of whether or not this was considered masturbation or incest.

In just 3 days, Jim and Water Park managed to clone themselves 69 and 420 times, respectively. Twitter user's called this clone army The Army, just Army or the BTS Army. Jim and Water Park unleashed their Clone Army upon the pour seuol's (get it? instead of souls...) of South Korea. The South Korean army was no match for the BTS Army, and they were quickly defeated. Jim and Water Park ruled South Korea for a good five months before being cancelled by those on Twitter who put them there in the first place. The two returned to North Korea where Kim John-Un punished them by making them be background dancers in the groups new music video.

However, Kim took this idea to plan his launch of his own clone initiative in secret and, after having to cull clone populations A to J, he finally found a formula that would win young girls' hearts. With this line of defence overcome, shortly thereafter, John-Un took over the world.

Musicians' thoughts on K-pop

When asked in an interview on her thoughts on K-pop, Taylor Swift stated "well A-pop is better, cause America!"

Paul McCartney was asked about his thoughts on his former band-mates' new music career. The music legend had this to say; "I'm just glad that we traded Pete Best for him in the second round pick, y'know?"

The London Post even went to extreme lengths to resurrect John Lennon from the grave to which Lennon responded with unintelligible gibberish before blowing his brains out with a "Happiness Gun".