Ganbu Style
“Oppa
ganbuGangnam Style!”
Gangnam Style is an extremely catchy and slightly annoying dance invented by Kim Jong Un, intended to brainwash people. PSY, a ganbu from the Gangnam, perfected it and made it less brainwashing (but undoubtedly sexier).
History[edit]
The brain-washing technique was first developed by evil scientists under Kim Jong Un after the death of his father, Kim Jong Il. During his presidency, however, the irresistibly sexy South Korean singer PSY somehow captured a glimpse of two gestures on the TV before switching to a women horse racing channel without forgetting it. Then he wrote a song to go with it, about how a girl can live a double life or something, but he can also "beat her at her game." Or what. Although way less powerful and without the forgetting feature, his video tutorial Gangnam Style still marks more than 700 million views on YouTube, surpassing On the Floor by Jennifer Lopez and only under the Greatest Mind-Washing Video of All Time: Baby by Justin Bieber. PSY claimed that he created this technique prior to a talent show after he realized that nobody remembers seeing Kim Jong Un performing it.
The absurd consequences[edit]
Once it became popular, PSY ended up attracting many young women and girls and even horses.[1] This, obviously, made PSY's wife (married in 2006) really mad, but because they have two daughters (twins, born 2008), they are still together in spite of this.
Later, a mare walked up to him and said, "당신은 정말 섹시!!!" which means "You are very sexy!!!" PSY, alarmed by this, decided never again to dance in the presence of horses.
NA!!! Just kidding! He was actually very impressed, and proceeded to hump the mare. And still his wife forgave him.
Things not having to do with horse sex[edit]
When Kim Jong Un found out about PSY having stolen his brainwashing technique, he sent his goons to kill him, using his infidelities as an excuse. PSY, knowing about this, decided to stop being a ganbu (no, I'm just kidding) and his wife forgave him.
And so the North Korean government's first attempt to kill him went like this: While he was sleeping, the government guys tried to cut off PSY's dick. Luckily, he woke up just in time, and narrowly escaped the mutilation. After eight more days of this absurd shit, he was like, "Fuck off already! Just fuck off!" And so they quit, realizing that they were never going to kill him.
See Also[edit]
Notes[edit]
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