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Based on California Gurls by: Katy Perry
Lyrics written by: βia§
Vocals vocalized by: To Be Determined


A simple ballad An upbeat rhythm by βia§ in a sorry attempt to capture some form of attention in the musical world. The inspiration came to βia§ when he went on a visit to Seattle, in which he witnessed many atrocities, such as drinking real Coffee, actually paying attention to hobos on the street and giving them money, and the extreme amount of people who wore Birkenstocks with socks still on. So incredibly horrified by the alien culture of the Washingtonians, he made this. Whatever it is.



Escape, loved ones
Don’t take this journey

I know a place
Where the grass is really wetter
Cold, wet, and mild
Something’s up with the weather
Sippin' Starbucks
Layin' underneath the evergreens (Real gross!)
The boys
Wear North Face
Try'na stay a little warmer (Failure!)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Puget Sound
Once you party with us
You'll wish you were found
Oooooh oh oooooh

We're unreliable
Edward, Bella , And those werewolves!
Introverts extreme
We'll wear your patience thin!
Oooooh oh oooooh!

We're ultra-liberal
And organic foods
West coast’s hidden gem
That should stay hidden
Oooooh oh oooooh!

View from the Needle
We don't mind leaves in our sandals
We freak
In my van
Alternative rock on the stereo (Oh oh)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Puget Sound
Once you party with us
You'll wish you were found!
Oooooh oh oooooh

We're unpredictable
Arsonists and the grunge movement
Goths and geeks
For jobs at Microsoft
Oooooh oh oooooh!

Epitome of gloom
Just like India
West coast’s hidden gem
That should stay hidden
Oooooh oh oooooh!

Snoop Dogg Eminem βia§
Pale, fat
depressed and nerdy
Turn it up 'cause we invented QWERTY
Wow, wow, West Coast
These are the people I avoid the most
I mean the ones
I mean like, see em’ and freeze!
Plant them trees!

The people freak
If you drive a Jeep
Cause you pollute
Hate the aroma
And carcinoma
High school diploma
Just like I hate Tacoma
And Everett
You’re cool if you own a Corvette

All the boys
Every girl
Loves recycle
Apples, chapels, Scrabble
Yes Snapple
Just the Dr.
And the scalpel.

Bill, my man?
I’m your biggest fan
(Uh huh)
I know I can’t rap
But you put Seattle on the map
(Ohhh yeahh)

We're unacceptable
Plus socks and sandals
Rain-soaked skin
So cold
We'll chill your latte
Oooooh oh oooooh!

We're unaccommodating
60 degrees
Is when they all melt
West coast’s hidden gem
That should stay hidden!
Oooooh oh oooooh

Robotic voice, most likely GLaDOS
Washingtonians, yeah!
Washingtonians, yeah!


After this song was released, all Western Washingtonians purchased and rejoiced, downloading it on their Zunes (there are no such things as iPods in Washington State) and dancing to their favorite verses. Eastern Washingtonians didn't seem to enjoy it as much, as it seems that all Washington State stereotypes seem directed to the more favored side west of the Cascades.

It is reported that Barack Obama, Jay Leno, and Sarah Palin all have bought copies (although Jay Leno's case is debatable, and depends on whether or not his chin has eaten it yet).

Importance to Mankind[edit]


Music Video[edit]

The following clips were leaked from the upcoming "Washingtonians" music video against the consent of βia§ due to a conspiracy against him concerning Madonna, Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and the IRS. The order in which they are present are tentative, as no one knows what on Earth this was attempting to convey. Helpful friendly text boxes, brought to you by Aperture Science have been provided in an attempt to explain the following clips.

This is possibly showing a mob of people hating Washington State.
Possibly paying homage to βia§'s favorite film, Jurassic Park. That, or it is a recording of the reactions of two people in a Jeep upon their first visit to Washington State.
Not quite sure on what is happening here. Apparently, Tom Cruise electrocuting Oprah Winfrey is a major component in the music video. Oprah's fate is unsure