UnNews:ICANN to announce .KID domain

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We have met the enemy, and he is us

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UnNews

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Friday, November 22, 2024, 01:19:59 (UTC)

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30 March 2007

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Get the FUCK off of my internet!

Silly kid, Dora is for adults.

CYBERSPACE, WWW -- ICANN has announced their new plan to create a Top Level Domain that will be strictly for crotch fruit. Their plan for the new domain is to remove the plethora of inane kids sites that are interfering with the chief purpose for which the internet was created. That purpose of course is to distribute pornography cheaply and quickly.

Fuck trophies will be restricted from using the general internet and will be limited to surfing the .KID domain only or face the dire penalty of no dessert or TV for a week. Of course, there will be still be some pr0n in that domain as well, but it will cater to the preteen set, with wet t-shirt contests, Girls Gone Wild videos and titty twisting images.

While opponents to the new TLD have suggested that we just need to re-edumacate breeders, who can't seem to stop themselves from creating little brats seemingly every time they bone down. Crazy Christians have threatened to pull the few remaining children they have in public schools that even mention the words penis or vagina in discussing contraception.

Hustler magazine sleezeball and overall asshole Larry Flynt commented on the new internet domain scheme, "I can't wait to get rid of all these boring, G rated kiddie sites and use those domains for exciting interactive adult web spaces that I'll put in their place."

Hustler's plans call for changing Dora the Explorer into an 18 year old nympho who explores 40 year old men by fisting them up their rectum. While, Blue Clues new site will feature Jenna Jameson as Blue and Ron Jeremy as Steve and her clues will lead her to which sexual position she'll enjoy with a random canine.

Sources

• Ryan Paul "Proposal to erect XXX domain faces stiff opposition". Ars Technica, March 28, 2007