Forum:I'm done here with Uncyclopedia

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Riker, preparing to be done here with Uncyclopedia.

I'm done here with this site. I just can't be very funny enough to contribute anymore. So I'm leaving & never coming back. I just feel like I've been contributing in a stupid way. So goodbye & so long. It's been nice knowing you............TROLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Riker (talk • contribs)

YAAAAY! I'm a troll! Wait, that was directed at everyone, right?

1234 ~ 03:37, 18 December 2010

BUTT POOP!!!! --Mn-z 04:48, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

A wizard did it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:22, 18 December 2010

Who are you again? --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 15:35, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

I've looked at your 13 edits, and you are right. Spıke Ѧ 16:07 18-Dec-10

TROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Roman Dog Bird 16:27, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Another bites the dust--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 22:58, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is the worst. Also Trolls. Simsilikesims 23:09, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

At least we have free doughnuts--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 23:11, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

free doughnuts? where? (Remembers she is gluten-intolerant)Oh. nevermind. Back to my ice cream. Simsilikesims 23:13, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for letting us know. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:26, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

That's the way to get ahead in the world: give up after a token effort. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:45, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Thank's for the words of truth, dear wise man. You're words are so good to us.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 00:57, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Let the door hit you on the way out. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 02:39, December 19, 2010 (UTC)

Also I can say something as well. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 03:08,20December,2010

Is this where I join the bandwagon? --UU - natter 09:47, Dec 20

We're running a train? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Incidentally, Michael Aspel will be presenting a retrospective on Riker's time here at Uncyclopedia at 8pm on ITV this Wednesday night. Highlights include talking to Dirk Benendict about the reaction to Riker's adding of a Mr T quote to the MySpace article, and also a dramatisation of the recently departed author's putting of a 'Shit in the Woods' joke into Yogi Bear. mAttlobster. (hello) 13:33, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

The. - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 16:55, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Spam. ◄► Tephra ◄► 17:12, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for taking the time to announce this to us. TROLL!!!!!!!!! etc -- Hindleyite Converse 17:43, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

- so long!

Wow, some old names... and even our resident troll IP responded... you really are popular, dear Riker.

1234 ~ 18:05, 20 December 2010

Popular? I didn't ask for popularity, people. What I meant was when I said I was leaving Uncyclopedia, I meant I was leaving it for good. It would take more to get me back here to contribute you pathetic excuses for human beings, & it would take more than the Pope to have the balls to take a giant shit down Yogi Bear's throat in the woods. Say whatever you want, I'm not coming back to any of you lowlifes who would spend eternity just making contributions & edits to this shitles site. Again, I say farewell & I hope to never see or hear from any of you pieces of batshit again. User:Riker/sig

Would you be interested in coming back if there was a financial incentive? It wouldn't be a huge amount, but let's talk. mAttlobster. (hello) 23:45, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Adorable!

1234 ~ 23:57, 20 December 2010 Wait, I thought he wasn't coming back? Didn't he just come back to comment on that? You sir, are a liar and a phony! --—John Lydon 13:13, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Exactly! It's adorable!

1234 ~ 15:38, 21 December 2010

The following people are being addressed by me:

1.)Matt lobster - No financial incentive big or small will ever bring me back, & it would be nothing more than a waste of small talk. 2.)John Lyndon - I would like to see you call me a liar & a phony staright to my face. You wouldn't want me to go Christian Bale right on your ***, because I do get angry very easily. In other words, watch it! 3.)Lyrithya - Adorable? Come,on! You can do better than that! For all of you other shitless trolls, hope you enjoy your holidays & may Santa leave lots of coal for all of you to choke on. Peace, out! User:Riker/sig

Who are you. --Roman Dog Bird 04:13, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Riker is absolutely right, we've all been wasting our time. Come on everyone, let's follow this bright young Uncyclopedian into oblivion; let's all be "done here with Uncyclopedia". Who's with me? --Black Flamingo 12:20, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Now, I'm no expert, but...

...an Uncyclopedian's first edits always suck. They're fresh-faced and mostly sober, new in off the street, and they've never had to write comedy before. It takes practice, experience, and the steely resolve provided by the crushing and nihilism inducing weight of a life lived in failure before they can write goodly. I mean, expecting to be awesome right off the bat is like expecting to be a master juggler with no practice. It doesn't happen. If you think it does, you're only running headfirst up against the wall of disappointment. Which puts you a third of the way to being funny. (The other two steps are failure in love and failure in school or work. The fourth of the three steps is maintaining a childlike view of the world, full of whimsy and rainbows and ponies, and from that being able to find the humour in things that aren't necessarily funny. The fifth is learning how to analyse comedy and coming up with the joke without analysing comedy and killing the joke, which is tough to do. The sixth step is Southern Comfort. You'll understand when you're older) Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:44, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

That comment is so beautiful, it makes me cry. Except for the Southern Comfort part, which makes me reach for the 28 year old (bottle and woman). Aleister 13:44 Solstice MMX

It was either that or Wild Turkey. Writers don't drink the good stuff. Except Hemingway. And he wasn't funny at all. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:54, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

The Thirteen Edits

Edit the first, from KISS: Gene, no more shitty songs from now on, okay?

Edit the second, from Billy Idol: Billy Idol's given name is NOT Fuck You. 'Nuff said!

Edit the third, from Avril Lavigne: Avril Lavigne once used her fartbox as a guitar amplifier.

Edit the fourth, from Facebook: tell the world your dad is a fairy. announce that your sister is open for business now. say that Facebook will change its name to In Your Facebook.

Edit the fifth, from Sean Combs, Alias: Piss Daddy TPPP

Edit the sixth, from MySpace, a quote:

“Hey, that's MYSPACE, Fool? MY-SPACE!Mr.T”

~ Oscar Wilde

Edit the seventh, from Hardee's: "Home of hypertension & high cholestral - see you soon!"

Edit the eight, from Brett Favre: Favre means Fuckface in Icelandic.

Edit the ninth, from Penis, list of words for penis: Slim Jim

Edit the tenth, from Steven Tyler: Steven Tyler's manhood was nearly destroyed by a Potato Cannon shot by Ted Nugent during a concert.

Edit the eleventh, from Yogi Bear: A movie version of Yogi's life was released in theatres nationwide for the Holidays in 2010, & Roger Ebert called Yogi Bear's life on the big screen "Shit in the woods!" No honors were given to Yogi posthumosly after the movie's release, all because Yogi Bear is "Shit in the woods!"

Edit the twelveth, also from Yogi Bear, a quote:

“Smarter than the average bear? I say he's nothing but a piece of shit in the woods!”

~ Ranger Smith on Yogi Bear

Edit the thirteenth: Forum:I'm done here with Uncyclopedia

Edit the fourteenst: Coming back here to tell us he wasn't coming back here.

Edit the fifteenth: Coming back here again to say why he's not coming back here and argue with some of the people who responded.

Edit the... eh, screw it. If he's going to keep editing, what's the point?

Hey Riker

If you said your never coming back, why did you came back and commented on here dumbass? If you're going to leave, just fucking leave. Also, your contributions may be bad, but nobody's contributions are when they first come here. Everybody hated mine, but then I got better with learning what other people do and harsh teaching from the admins. So technically the only pathetic excuse of a human being would be you for quiting this site just because you're a noob. Also, nobody likes to hear people's rants (especially me), so please spare us the shit and just fucking leave. On a lighter note, Merry Fucking Christmas, and a Happy Go To Hell Asshole! Cheers--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:41, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, what he said, feggit! --Roman Dog Bird 04:12, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Note: Everybody still hates your edits. I'm sorry nobody told you earlier. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:35, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

That's no surprise to me, but that's because my edits nowadays are just too badass for people's tastes.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 04:45, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, they just don't contain enough salt. Can you considered really dumping it on?

1234 ~ 04:54, 23 December 2010

Sure thing! Anything else to go with that order?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 05:04, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Er... even more salt!

1234 ~ 05:07, 23 December 2010

Request granted. It comes with a toy too! Thank you, come again!--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 05:10, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Can I have some salt? --Magic Snow man ☃ 18:12, December 24, 2010 (UTC)