Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 25

December 25: Democratic People's Republic of Korea Day (Worldwide), Santa Claus's Birthday, Chrismukhah, Decemberween

• 0 - Some Assholes decide to make a day to sell a bunch of shit.
• 1 CE - God tells some dudes via angel to go to some city and wait for a child. The dudes do this (both named Adam and Eve) and give birth to Bob Geldof. God becomes irate and destroys the universe.
• 3 - Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks God, creating Jesus.
• 31 - The birth of Santa Claus (pictured). Jesus is nearly killed delivering loaves and fishes by jumping down a chimney and will hand over the franchise to Santa Claus the next year.
• 1776 - George Washington crosses the Delaware to conduct a sneak attack on the British. The event is later immortalized in the first issue of Action Comics.
• 1776 - There is a tremendous backup on the Scudder Falls Bridge on I-95 going from Pennsylvania into New Jersey as George Washington's motorcade travels from last-minute gift-buying at the shopping malls of King of Prussia, near Valley Forge, to find a smoke-free restaurant in Trenton for their Christmas dinner.
• 1902 - Santa, whilst high, dresses in green and goes to Finland. Sadly, the colour catches on.
• 1916 - Whilst strolling through France on a crisp Christmas morning, the Brits have a quick game of footie against the Germans. However, this quickly transforms into a game of rough and tumble. Over a million are killed including second stringers.
• 1993 - Jews around the world decide to go to the movies.
• 1994 - Atheist children receive gifts.
• 1996 - Christmas is cancelled to mark the death of Screech from Saved by the Bell.
• 2005 - George Bush officially renames Christmas as Bushmas to honour his war against grammar.
• 2006 - In Finland, Santa is still depicted in green. The rest of the world is still confused.
• 2008 - Santa is charged with kidnapping children and taking them to his grotto. He is soon released with the help of Michael Jackson's lawyers.
• 2009 - Christmas cancelled after Santa Claus files for bankruptcy.
• 2010 - Santa shoots a redneck hick with his own gun in self-defence. He is arrested under the charges of trespassing, and sentenced to 567 years of slave labour after others also complain about his trespassing. Ironically, he ends up in prison in China, making Christmas ornaments.
• 2017 - Santa is set free since the police can't count to 567 years.