UnNews:Disney targets Muslim world for new theme park

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16 February 2010

Dumbo will happily fly giggling, little terrorists-in-training. Such is Americas hope for peace and prosperity.

BURBANK, California -- The world's largest media and entertainment conglomerate is scouting locations for its latest venture, Jihad World.

With Congress kicking in a cool $3.75 billion, Disney has the seed money it needs to break ground for a new theme park. For the first time this century, Americans in the know feel a new hope for peace in the Middle East. Glenn Beck said of the venture, "It's about damned time we get a return on investment from that shithole part of the world."

"It's a small world, after all, says corporate spokesman Ivan Ghilooly. "For too long, America has been seen as a great Satan, an invader, in Muslim countries. Disney , as a good corporate citizen, feels that we need to step up to the plate on this one. We don't simply want to be seen as materialistic and greedy, but rather, as fun-loving, generous people who only want to share what's good in our lives."

Although still uncommitted, a tentative name of Jihad World is being bandied about, as investors try to nail down details. "Putting yourself in the mindset of a bloodthirsty terrorist who's out for a good time, it's not so easy for many Americans. We've had to outsource," said renowned ride designer Claude Van Klunk. "Our biggest challenge will be somehow replicating the just rewards of a suicide bomber."

Thus far, Saudi Arabia looks promising, but the company board has not ruled out Yemen and Turkey.