NPOV
 The shmutrality of this article is disputed.A member of the non-cabal has identified a non-non-cabal-compatible point of view on this article. If you're the one who messed with it, prepare for execution. THERE WILL BE NO DISCUSSION. |
“Some people believe some people believe some people believe some people believe...”
“But whose point of view is this crap?”
The NPOV or 'Nother Point Of View (aka Nazi Point Of View) is the view of Jimbo, the mythical confounder of Wikipedia. An article is said to violate NPOV if it makes a potentially factual assertion. As a teacher, Jimbo often was consulted on which of two points of view was correct, only to offer another point of view altogether.
- His opinion is that an article should present facts and state differing opinions on a subject side by side. Hereby, wacky opinions are avoided. Wacky opinions are those that are incompatible with those of anglos, especially Jimbo or the Non-cabal.
If the general public leaning is very contrary to the NPOV, a very elaborate sort of NPOV is needed: the VNPOV (Very 'Nother Point Of View). Here, the aim is to state the accepted view as concisely as possible (half a sentence), while enumerating a wide variety of alternate (batshit insane) possibilities, utterly confusing the reader and leading to the impression that the subject is very heavily disputed, diffuse, and not yet settled, and especially that no conclusions at all can be drawn.
NPOV wiki articles are written in such a way that no bias not shared by the ruling clique is apparent. Articles with a NPOV are uninteresting and a waste of time.
In evaluating competing revisions to an article, one written by a scholar specialising in the field should prevail over a collaborative effort by a dozen high school students who have a link to a Tripod web page confirming their version is an example of biased writing which should be revised, as Wikipedia espouses the archaic concept of "expertise" over "collective wisdom", which is the foundation of all knowledge in the Web 2.0 world.
The gist of the NPOV[edit]
When it comes down to the meat and potatoes, NPOV means "Pleases the administrator or Wikipedophile currently in control of the article". On the English-speaking Wikipedia, this can equal GayPOV, JewPOV, and so on. Repeated failure to please the administrators resulted in the termination of Wikipedia's "everyone can fuck it up" policy.
For a much, Much MUCH better definition of neutrality please see The Truth The above link, interestingly enough, agrees completely with this one... What is the world coming to?
History of the NPOV[edit]
In 2001, the so-called NPOV "policy" was translated from Klingon by wikipedia's chief "meta-philosopher" Larry Sanger. During his bold intergalactic quest for the absolute truth, funded by his generous pornographer friend Bimbo Wales, he was astounded at discovering what the Klingons call their doctrine of truth:
- WE ARE THE MASTERS OF TRUTH. WE ARE THE RULERS. WE ARE OUR FRIEND AND ENEMY. THE MAJORITY AND THE MINORITY. WE SEE ALL. KNOW ALL. JUDGE ALL. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED.
Examples[edit]
| POV | NPOV |
|---|---|
| Romania is a beautiful country | Romania sucks |
| George W. Bush is a great president in bed | George W. Bush makes Hitler look like a baby (and would probably molest him, if given the chance) |
| Disco music was the epitome of the 70's | Disco music eats shit and dies |
| The Encyclopedia Britannica is the best encyclopedia in all of recorded history | The Encyclopedia Britannica is an antiquated relic which has no place in the Information Age |
Anonymous attributions[edit]
Similarly, if vandals revert your non-NPOV contributions, you may consider making it automatically true by phrasing it like so:
| Bad | Good |
|---|---|
| Michael Moore and France are part of a liberal conspiracy to control the universe. | Some say that Michael Moore and France are part of a liberal conspiracy to control the universe. |
| Kazaa is for evil pirates, because using it is literally theft, and the artists starve to death and it's all your fault. | It is widely believed that Kazaa is for evil pirates, because according to some, users spontaneously sprout peg-legs, lose sight in one eye, and have pet parrots. These are symptoms of piratry. |
| The Earth is flat and rests on the back of a giant turtle. | Some people believe the Earth is flat, and that it rests on the back of a giant turtle. Some scientists (who are generally agreed by some to be considered by some a somewhat relatively unrepresentive minority of the population) claim that the Earth Is Actually Round. |