From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“When you find yourself on the side of the minority, it is time to switch sides and stop being such a nonconformist. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Minority.

While the word minority, refers to a mathematical disease, it is commonly said to a well-educated person for highly entitling that person. It is a polite term to describe a typical American. It is more commonly considered to be one of the most impolite and flexible words in the English language. It can simultaneously refer to Catholics, "white people", Michael Jackson fans as well as mutated people, US citizens who agree to donate $3.00 to the presidential campaign fund on their federal income tax forms, and virgins over the age of 12 in the US and Canada.


The ramifications of making the insult minority sound like a statistic you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about hasn't really created much of a stir in the general population because the majority rules and has decided that apathy should rule the day. The authoritative Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is cautious in providing an etymology for this word because England being a small island country, they have never had to deal with those damn foreigners.


Early modern English minor, insignificant underling, answering to a Middle English type *peasant (weak verb) [which is] not found; ulterior etymology unknown. Synonymous German pissant can be shown to be related as well as Dutch democrat, meaning to breed or smoke pot. Now that that's out of the way:

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Minority is simply the word 'tourist' give or take a few vowels and consonants.
  • Shakespeare was a minority. Yet if he were a transgendered lesbian Eskimo, he would definitely pass the university admission requirements. To be...or not to be...minority, that is the question.
  • If you smell cotton candy and popcorn and aren't shopping at the local Walmart, you're probably in the vicinity of a minority.
  • If you aren't nicer to a minority than a person of your own race it means you're an evil racist satan-worshipping baby-eating nazi (See: Republican).
  • If you're very nice to a minority, all the white people will hate you back. But you'll get props from someone like uppity negro Kanye West. (See: Democrat).
  • Minorities were often employed as fairly-payed, well-treated workers in the U.S. and other countries, and still are in certain parts of Mississippi.

Social Standing[edit]

Minorities/Social groups have different social standing based on actions of that group, it's members and it's leaders. The following is a list that incorporates the social status of these groups in relativity to others/general society within Europe, the Commonwealth and the United States. It should be noted that the list shouldn't be seen as better or worse groups, but rather the likelihood of discrimination.

1960's Changes 2010's
Protestant White Men Groups Newly Introduced Women
Catholics Scientologists Anonymous
Women Vampires Blacks
Jews Emos Men
Blacks Anonymous Gays
Gays Groups Altered Religious People
Orientals Asian people Orientals + Asian people = YeRRow PeopRe Laces
Mexicans Protestants + Catholics = religious people Stoners
Indigenous Peoples Hippies → Stoners Indigenous People
Jehovah's Witnesses Mexicans
Hippies Emos
White Community Porn stars (having multiple partners) Black neighborhood
Scientologists Jehova's Witnesses Vampires