Slavery
“You can have any color you like, so long as it's black.”
Marriage Slavery is a form of employment used by many absurdly rich people to avoid paying high capital-gains taxes. Also called "career" or "profession", it involves the concept that other people should do your work for you while you check your stock portfolio, or even better, embark on a cruise to the Cayman Islands, where slavery originated.
The concept of slavery involves doing work for a Master in exchange for food, water, shelter, beatings, and other needs that the slave has. Generally slaves live in very large, comfortable houses and live happy ass lives. Despite this, several backward countries around the world have outlawed it, but they outlaw LSD too so that should give you an idea of the kind of people we're dealing with here.
Pirates like Blackbeard liked to hijack slave ships and make them their own, and having a bunch of people ready to mutiny made it easier, a third of pirates were from Africa, as it was the highest and only paying job opportunity available to involuntary immigrants at the time. Slavery almost died out completely in the 1860's when Abraham Lincoln tried to outlaw it, claiming it wasn't fair that only black people were allowed to be slaves. He got in a fight with Jefferson Davis and the south, who claimed that blacks had earned the right to hold slave exclusivity because of their naturally heightened cotton-picking skills. Luckily, the south won the civil war and prevented thousands of hard-working slaves from losing their jobs. Later on in the civil rights movement of the 20th century almost every minority race campaigned for and was granted the right to be enslaved. Shortly after the civil rights movement, the slavery movement just started all over again with the Chinese as it was originally intended to be before we got all these black people. We are now owning the Chinese as our slaves to Wal Mart.
Slavery today[edit]
- You may be looking for Communism and not even know it!
Luckily slavery is alive and well with more slaves alive today than ever before, it's a buyers market with prices at an all time low of less than 100$ a head. While slavery has many advantages, it unfortunately has the side effect of attracting a lot of black people. These terrible people where the Ancestors of the common bike stealing, raping criminal we know today. The Correct Scientific name for this is: Homo Negroeses Joneses.
Windemere (born Shlomo Tevyah) was a tiny, neurotic jew, belonging to American writer Ernest Hemingway. Windemere was one of the last Jewish slaves.
In modern Western(rootin' tootin' desperadoes!) societies, "slavery" is used mostly as a synonym for "marriage", whereby the woman is forced to do the housekeeping and raise children while the male fulfills career ambitions and participates in his hobbies and interests. Rumors of old-fashioned "real" slavery, indentured servitude, and other forms of "human traffic" in modern-day America are mostly unfounded, except of course for the call center industry.
Certain individuals, many of whom are of African-American descent, practice a form of enslavement whereby other individuals — mostly women — are compelled to perform often-degrading acts for hire, usually giving them only a small fraction of the financial proceeds from these transactions, barely enough to ensure a bare minimum of subsistence for the enslaved person. Such people are commonly referred to as "corporate executives."
Slavery in the Future[edit]
Financial experts predict the industry will most likely continue to grow; it is said that in 2055, after the solar flares cripple the robot based economy, that every citizen will be able to get their own personal slaves genetically tailored for them down at their local Walmart, like a pair of designer jeans from a third world sweatshop.