Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 11

July 11: International Pull My Finger Day, Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia)

• 1250 BCE - John Titor is present at the Battle of Troy but leaves upon discovering absence of internet discussion boards to incessantly babble on.
• 1307 - Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneers the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow accident.
• 1796 - The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798.
• 1804 - Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr. This is the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 is imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers.
• 1859 - A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray.
• 1864 - The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens.
• 1925 - Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships.
• 1955 - John Titor arrives in Hill Valley after being fired in 2037 from his radio gig. He seeks out Doc Brown's counsel about how to get really rich.
• 1961 - President Kennedy has sex with his wife, initiating J. Edgar Hoover's investigation of cross dressing in organized crime, the State Department and Marks and Spencer's Men's Department.
• 1963 - John Titor becomes a billionaire on betting on the World Series. He returns to 2036 and retires.
• 1997 - Prime Minister John Major loses an election after telling a "pull my finger" joke to the Queen, creating a grave scandal. She was later overheard to say that "We are most assuredly not amused".
• 2001 - Tony Blair legalizes public same sex farting in the Commonwealth, violating the Statute Of Westminster (1931) , a law which says the UK should mind its own business and get lost.
• 2002 - Tony Blair's farting legalisation is rescinded when Queen Elizabeth II farts on the bill rather than granting the Royal Assent. Protesters at Buckingham Palace fart in the Queen's general direction.
• 2013 - Barry Manilow's nose explodes after he falls for a "pull my finger joke". Gas comes out wrong orifice, killing 43.
• 2036 - John Titor returns to his own time and takes over hosting duties on Art Bell's Coast to Coast AM show, opening with his signature line, "Na na na na, told you so!".