Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 31

August 31: Anniversary of Rob Zombie's first Halloween

• 69 BCE - John Carpenter is born. Rather than kicking, screaming and squirming at birth, he immediately decides to make others do just that.
• 320 CE - Knives are invented by Leonardo Da Vinci. Screaming is re-invented by Cosimo de Medici. Their combined work would develop into the horror genre we know today.
• 1958 - Jamie Lee Curtis is born. She is the only one found left alive in the delivery room. This would happen again in her home, foster home, day care, kindergarten, etc.
• 1963 - Mike Myers, the comedian-actor, is born, much to the amusement of horror fans.
• 1965 - Rob Zombie is born or so it is thought.
• 1966 - The Rolling Stones write an early version of Paint It Black with the sole lyric "Black isn't a color".
• 1966 - Randy Bachman removes the lyrics "These are the eyes of a psychopath" from the Guess Who hit These Eyes.
• 1978 - The original Halloween movie is released; people become terrified of the wrong Mike Myers.
• 1980 - Some little slasher-horror movie with some dumb holiday name is released. The killer is some chick with a son named Jacob or something like that.
• 1989 - Mike Myers joins the cast of Saturday Night Live, as Michael Myers rushes out another sequel, Halloween 5.
• 1995 - Michael Myers is back with a vengeance as Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is released to little fanfare. Donald Pleasence dies and is replaced by a talking dog.
• 1997 - Princess Diana dies in a drink driving incident, while trying to engage in a spit roast in the back of a Mercedes, in Paris, France.
• 1998 - Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later saves the Halloween franchise.
• 2002 - The Halloween franchise is nearly killed by Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection.
• 2006 - Rob Zombie announces that he is remaking Halloween.
• 2007 - Rob Zombie's masterpiece, Halloween, is released and grosses more money than Mr. Bean, Balls of Fury, Superbad, Titanic II, and Transformers combined.
• 2009 - Audiences flock to see The Final Destination and Taking Woodstock instead of Halloween II