“What the hell?”
“If only we had ╬'s instead of nukes, then we'd be happy as a cabbage.”
“OMFG HOW TO DO ╬ ON KEYBORD?!”
Purposes and uses for ╬s
Many different uses for the ╬ exist.
- The ╬ has been considered for use as an alternate symbol of Christianity.
- Tony Blair keeps a silver ╬ in his bedside drawer to ward off nukes.
- The ╬ appears on the foreheads of characters in Japanese anime to show they are about to blow a gasket. See veins, high blood pressure.
- A ╬ was actually used as a calculator in the process of finding the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything.
- The ╬ was discovered during WWII to be the ultimate cure of the effects of fnords
- Ze Germanz zhey tried painting ╬ on zheir panzerz, to zee if itz powerz would helf zhem win dieses verdamten Krieg. Thiz eventually proved dizaztrouz. schade doch...
- People with epilepsy cannot see ╬s.
- The ╬ is also a type of fruit found in Norway, which George Bush has previously choked on. It also grows along with its close cousin ╣. The names of these fruits were given as a result of a system crash at Microsoft after Bill Gates gave the "all clear" during a skiing trip.
- ╬s are sometimes only figments of your imagination.
- Margaret Thatcher has a tattoo which closely resembles the shape of an ╬ on her left shank.
- ╬ is a mathematical constant, equal to -1337, used for calculating the exact value of π.
- ╬ is a common subliminal message, only visible to those with herpes. Try looking at the palm of your right hand. Do you see a faint ╬ there? If you do, you have herpes. This symbol is also visible in many other places.
╬ ─ is it the end of the world?
Scientologists have only recently discovered that, when the universe was created, thousands upon thousands of ╬s were given off as by-products. These are predicted to crash periodically into Earth across the duration of the 25th century.
A cosmic ╬ has characteristics similar to those of a nuclear bomb, but it is not man-made and ten times as powerful. They can fly through space at 65 times the speed of light, and therefore are hard to see with the naked eye. However, they can be seen in slow motion if the observer has huffed kittens beforehand. Most have been seen flying high over the United Kingdom of America.
Before you think that we are all screwed, yes, we do have a hope in the prevention of the ╬ storm. Only a few people in the world have enough power to prevent a world catastrophe. Some of the people are Tony Blair, George Bush, Madonna and Noel Edmunds; the rest have yet to be found. These special people can form an anti-╬ barrier across the whole of the planet, reflecting all ╬s that collide with it. The downside to this is, however, that Uncyclopedia will be destroyed. So maybe we are screwed...
The science behind the anti-╬ barrier
The special people mentioned above all have the power to emit omega rays from their anuses after huffing kittens. If they point their arses into the sky, they can shoot them into the upper atmosphere. If enough of these omega rays are present, they will be attracted to each other and produce a massive cosmic shield containing omega narfons, omega wontons and traces of salad leaves. Due to the iotonic charge of these cosmic ╬s, they will be repelled from Earth, as omeganic and iotonic charges repel one another. The power of the shield can be multiplied with each kitten huffed. And, of course, ╬s don't like salad.
Uncyclopedia's weakness is omega fatty rays, so trying out this technique is not recommended.
For those who didn't understand any of this
It's fucking crazy!
It's simple, when you add ╬ with ⌐ , ƒ , and ť you get Fnords, which is cabbage, which is the alienation of centrifugal xelpgnorts with ball bearings contained within the humberphloobs and spleens. Duh.