Why?:Do a Pee Review
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
“I give the concept a 10. Humor is kinda weak.”
New to Uncyclopedia? Have you had a look around and are wondering what to do? Why bother with all the glory of writing your own articles and having them featured? Why make useful contributions to other articles or help in the fight against vandalism?
No. It's far more fun to beat other authors into the ground by telling them why their work sucks so much. Why not do a Pee Review, the last refuge of sexy cowards?
“The "benefits" section made absolutely no sense. It was random, and I hate you.”
The advantages to Peeing are wide and varied. For males, Pee Review can increase penis size, height, and even personal hygiene. For females improved breast shape along with better hair and more shoes are common side effects.
Pee Review has been shown to cure baldness, prevent impotence, and increase your expected lifespan. It's also useful in the fight against global terror, world poverty and can assist in weight control (obviously only as part of a calorie controlled diet). One thing that it cannot cure, however, is the curse of the pathological liar who, although intelligent and beautiful, keeps on lying in pee reviews merely so that people like them.
At this time NASA is using Pee Review in a last ditch attempt to answer the question 'where exactly is Waldo?' and the Christians believe Pee Review may hold the truth behind the location of the holy grail.
Global warming can be cured with a single Pee Review. A few Pees here and there and the old carbon dioxide problem will simply fall from the sky. Racial tensions can also obviously be reduced under the Pee Review banner. If only Martin Luther King and the NYPD had thought of doing more reviews, the world would be a far better place.
Many lottery winners have cited Pee Review as the main reason for their success and it has been proven to dramatically reduce your changes of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
Learning to Pee well can be useful for putting out small fires, writing your name in the snow, and can be popular amongst practitioners of many sexual fetishes.
You're Lying! It's for losers with glasses and no friends
“Just because I wear glasses doesn't mean I'm a virgin! It just strongly suggests it.”
Wrong again. Some of the most popular and charismatic people in the world made their name in Pee Review. Elvis, JFK, Princess Diana and Saddam Hussein all initially made their names in Pee Review. Just because some people may be middle-aged bespectacled virgins doesn't mean they all are! OK, they all are, but at least it's not as bad as proofreading! See? It's not so bad! Besides, I know you, you sexay young thang: Now is your chance to bring sexy back to Pee Review! We need you!
Once you get good at reviewing, the opposite sex (or the same sex, hell, I don't care) will find your charms almost irresistible. Ok, they will eventually resist you, but you gotta give yourself some chance eh? Ok, you have no chance, but at least we're not PROOFREADING.
Bollocks I'm not going near it
“That "Bullocks, I'm not going near it" section was quite the mega-bullocks.”
Now, I'm no 'scientist' or anything, and I don't know what a 'bullocks' is, but I wouldn't go near a bullocks if I were YOU. Just do a God dam Pee Review!
Just get on your bike! Shift your ass over there and slip one out. No one will take the piss, and you must be busting by now!
Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Do a Pee Review
|Humour:||1||It's really just a glorified list of rather stupid claims about the seemingly supernatural powers of the Pee review process. OK, the bit about the increased penis size has obviously been shown to be true by many members of Peeing but the rest of it is just plain old nonsense. I suggest you go read How to be Funny And Not Just Another Idiot. I've never read it myself -because I'm always funny- but it can't hurt! The section I hated most, however, was the one that suggested I was a virgin with glasses! I don't need anonymous internet users telling me I'm a virgin with glasses; my mom tells me that in text messages every hour!|
|Concept:||2||It's a good concept, expect for the part about writing an article like a pee review on pee reviews. I especially hated the section that reviewed the part about writing an article like a pee review on pee reviews. I found the self-referential nature of the article deeply disturbing not only to my personality, but to my sexuality as well. As for the 'Joke Pee Review', are you not concerned that people will take that as an example of a good Pee Review? Someone might become confused and therefore make a bad pee review by accident. Do you think it's funny to be self-referential in an article? It's been done over and over and over again.|
|Prose and formatting:||1||I propose you learn some longer words, and possibly even consider finding out what they mean. Although your use of clever toilet humo|
|Images:||3||Why the hell is there a picture of Moses? Come on, this makes no sense. Surely a picture of Oscar Wilde or Chuck Norris would be more appropriate? As for the picture of a fake pee review, I agree with the caption. I would rather just see some boobies in the article. Is that too much to ask??|
|Miscellaneous:||0.8||I averaged all your other scores. It was the least I could do before I nominated your article for deletion.|
|Final Score:||7.8||My main comment would be "YOUR MOM" followed closely by "YOUR DAD". This article sucks, okay? I'm not even trying to be polite anymore. This is a good opportunity which has been simply wasted. I suggest you stop writing and read a book. Hell, read a paragraph. If you can't read I'm not surprised, just don't try writing anything. Was your computer plugged into a keyboard or a horse's ass? I have lost my faith in humanity by reading this. I'm not even exaggerating.|
|Reviewer:||User:BetterThanU 02:40, Jan 11|
|Humour:||9||Well, I guess it was kinda funny. Those pee reviews at the end were kinda dumb, but everything else was sorta okay. I didn't like the reference to Martin Luther King in the Benefits section, though. I thought that stepped over the line, which is why I'm not giving you a 10.|
|Concept:||10||The concept was funny, I guess. We need an article on doing Pee Reviews, I think. The reason you didn't get an 11 is because of that reference to Martin Luther King. It's not nice to make fun of black people, as I learned March 11th, 2003.|
|Prose and formatting:||9||It was basically readable. I mean, I could read most of it without having to take a break from it. I mean, I could read some of it without throwing up in my mouth a little...|
|Images:||10||HAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHA! That picture of Moses? Classic. That was so hilarious! I have never seen anything so funny in my entire livelong life. I love you, whoever wrote this article! Please, please add more pictures of Moses to the article, and your image score might go up a little.|
|Final Score:||50.5||This article should go over a few more revisions before it's worthy of a higher score. Give it some time, and this article will blossom, like a red rose on a sun-drenched hillside in a young unicorn's dream, only slightly more glorious. As it is right now, I wouldn't give this to my worst enemy to read, no matter how many BMWs the jerk has.|
|Reviewer:||User:HappyPuppies 02:40, Jan 11|
|Featured Article (read another featured article)||Featured version: 14 January 2009|
|This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.|