# *

 Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid.

## Unnumbers

### 0.999999...

1. Same number as 1

### 1

1. More than none (see above) and less than... more than one. (There are lots of iddy biddy numbers between none and one, but you can't count these on your fingers, well I hope you can't.)
2. Number of stupid little coins you get back when something comes to 99 cents/pence.
3. Number of people who think you're the goddamn king of the world. You are among them.

### π

pi = π something to do with circles

or it could be an apple pi.

### 112

The phone number for the international taxi service. To ensure fast and effective service:

• in Britain, you need to ask for an "ambulance" to be sent to you, then you add "Hospital" to the name of your destination.
• in America, you ask for "police". Don't bother giving a destination or where you live. They have these little legal pads that know those places already.

### I

1. The only number that actually exists.
2. It is best described as i+i-i or i*i/i or the square root of i squared
3. It is somehow related to numbers smaller than larger than or equal to 0

### 2

1. Can be as bad as 1.
2. In texting, means to or too.
3. In drum language, means "Bang-dee-bang-bang". Note that drum languge can be almost fifty times faster then texting, depending on the drummer.
4. A sexuality test. It should make a normal heterosexual male think of boobies more quickly than arithmetic. So "two plus two" should evoke an image of "lesbian flick" before the number 4.

### 2B

The second Bimention. A Universe big on musical theatre.

### ii

The number of years I have to wait past 16 for Americans to become legal, depending on the state of residence.

### 2+2

1.Equals 4, unless they're pieces of eight, in which two plus two equals a half ( I didn't start this, you know.)

2.Some mathematicians have spent their entire lives approximating the value of 2+2; to their understanding, 2+2= two halves of a fish = half fish + half fish = Whole Fish. Simplified, 2+2 = fish.

3. A sexuality test."two plus two" should evoke an image of "lesbian flick" before the number 4.

1. Original meaning still employed in arithmetic and other forms of higher mathematics:
1. A customer service methodology that originated in the late 20th century:
This service methodology has even become commonplace in the banking sector. Banks are now typically open 24 days a month, 7 hours a year.

### 28th Amendment, The

The Twenty-Eighth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States, residing in the so-called Bill of Rights, was enacted in 2005 and signed into law by the then President George W. Bush. The amendment banned all human clothing. Bush himself wrote it, along with the 29th and 30th amendments.

“Where as here as there shall be none of you guys yourselves wearing clothing and all that stuff.”

~ George W. Bush on The 28th Amendment

### 3

The legally enforced value of π in Alabama and Mongolia.

### 3.14159

The value of π used by scientists.

### 3.141592654

The value of π that your calculator shows

### 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751

The value of π used by people who are clearly just showing off.

### 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078

The value of π used by people who are clearly just showing off more than the people clearly just showing off.

### 666

SATAN before he got an unlisted number.

### 68 Position

You give me sex and I will owe you one later.

### 69,105

1. The number of leaves in a pile.
2. The number of roads a man must walk down before you can call him a man.
3. The number of dots on Napoleon's ceiling.
4. The phone number of the Zork narrator's ex-girlfriend (minus the area code.)

### 7

The number that comes before 10 in a base eight counting system.

The curse inflicted upon an individual after they break a mirror. Was originally designed to exact revenge upon anyone who damaged a reflective surface, but with the introdcution of lakes and other such rippling devices the requirements were restricted significantly.

### 74

The cursed number of evil robot margrett thatcher ninjas everywhere.

### 8-

8 looks like 2 balls and - looks like a dick.

### 9/11

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Rudy Giuliani?
1. The new name for the convenience store 7/11. 9/11 staff have to pass a drug test to work there. If they don't have any drugs 9/11 give them free ones, and let them come to work two hours late everyday.
2. A uninteger in mathematics:

${\displaystyle 9/11=0.8181818181...}$

### 9-1-1

7 Number made to call when rosie o donnel is seen running wild on the streets

### 999

The number one should ring when one has run out of tea. Emergency teasuscitacion will arrive within five minutes. also note, when turned upside down you will see 666 Call 666 to speak to Satan's secretary.

## Symbols

### 0'0

Why do people cover up the wonderful zone? Wee all know about their piece of crap

### |=====><=====|

Gordon Brown and George Bush getting in prostitution

### / (forward slash)

v. inf. - to urinate in front of oneself (as opposed to urinating on ones own arse)

n. (chiefly 20th/21st century) - universal symbol used for just about everything from website addresses to names of pets. Anything mediocre or just downright crap may be upgraded into some hi-tech, must-have super-wonder (eg. blogs) by the addition of a forward slash. Except a backslash, which just confuses anyone who doesn't realise MS-DOS is not Mexican for Siamese twins with multiple sclerosis.

n. a basic moved used in knife street-fighting

### \ (backslash)

v. inf. - see forward slash

n. this symbol has mystified science for as long as MS-DOS; why it was not called a backward slash is not clear (see forward slash) although most people know it as "the bottom bit of the key next to 'Z'" on a standard (ie. British (ie. Normal)) keyboard, itself underneath probably the most pointless symbol after the tilde (ie. | )

### | (name unknown)

n. has never been used in written language (ever), until just now. It is described as "the symbol above the backslash - or is it the forward slash? Never mind, it's the one to the left of the spacebar.".

### (whitespace denoting the spacebar)

n. name given to the bar with the funny jazz band in Star Wars

### ~ (tilde)

Perhaps the most useless symbol ever. Used to look all fancy like and show off.

### \$\$\$

Rather un-creative net-shorthand for numerous small green pieces of paper or other forms of currency for that small 3% (as far as America is concerned) of the planet that do not live in the U.S.

### 無 (Moo)

Cow's language. 無 means "yes", 無! means "no freakin' way", 無無 means "I don't know"and ??? means "WTF" (What The F*ck). See also Mu.

### ॐ (Om)

The symbol of Om, a measure of electrical resistance that, on application of a current of 1 A, outputs 1000 mV. For the Hindu mantra syllable see Ω.

### π

Baked dish with a baked shell usually baked of baked pastry that covers or completely is baked and contains a baked filling of baked meat, baked fish, baked vegetables, baked fruit, baked cheeses, baked creams, baked chocolate, baked custards, baked nuts, or other sweet or savoury baked ingredient. See main article at π.

### ﷲ

The Artist Formerly Known as God. See Alanis Morisette and George Burnsand ShaaTa kumaaar. Oh, and see God, too... you deserve it... you really derserve it.... I'm hypnotizing you....are you asleep? Good! This was the Almighty Armada in days of old: ﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲﷲ (yo ho ho and a barrel of rum). Are you awake now? WELL, ARE YOU? What do you mean, you saw a fleet of Gods headed this way? Oy Gevault!

### אשרה

The Artist Also Known As Asherah. Possibly related to ﷲ. Please inquire by way of Belldandy, Thor, and Howard Stern.

### &

The official hardest symbol in the English language to sketch. Known as an ampersand to people who want to just show off. (Show off that they don't know that " ... and per se 'and' " is the end of the old alphabet nursery rhyme, that is)

Also a symbol of a person attempting a yoga pose

### ®

A computer bug. These common pests grow and multiply in little-read documents such as advertisements, pharmaceutical flyers, and contracts. As they are holometabolous, the juvenile stage appears as ™ and frequently outnumbers the adults in recent documents. They participate in a symbiotic relationship with © in semantic ecosystems. (Oh bugger, I just did it. Now unless somebody reads this page there will be hundreds of them in a few years) Warning: Because these creatures are very sensitive and refined, Congress has enacted dozens of special animal rights laws to make sure they aren't demeaned, mistreated, lied about, or ignored.

:-)

Smiley face. A member of the tribe of emoticons that surreptitionsly became an epidemic among teenage girls in chat. Example: "OMG, then he asked me out! :-)"

:-(

Frowney face, teh arch enemy of the above. Smiley face is a prep. Frowney face is a emo chick.

\$\$\$ ;) \$:0 %*&\$# **;0&& :P (_!_)- :( - === A night out at Vegas.

Arse

Big Arse

Fat Arse

Rich Arse

### (__\$__)

American Rich Ass

Dumb Arse

Smart Arse

Royal Arse

Pain in the Arse

### T_T

A "smiley face" used in online games. Most commonly by Asian people and twelve-year-old girls pretending to be Asian, it is also common to see it as T__T or TT_TT or T___________________________________T.

### 8=======I}

lol...ascii penis

### ☭

A pirate attempting to use a razer.

### ⊞

Main article: Micro\$oft Window\$

The logo for the BEST COMPUTER IN THE WORLD!!! worst computer in the world.